BOOK OF THE DAY: Committed: A Sceptic Makes Peace with MarriageBy Elizabeth Gilbert Bloomsbury 285pp, £12.99
THINGS TEND to work out in the end for Elizabeth Gilbert. Those familiar with her bestseller, Eat, Pray, Lovewill know that what began badly – an emotional breakdown, a crippling divorce – ended happy ever after with a man she immediately vowed never to marry.
Which is where Committedtakes up the story. It turns out Gilbert's decision to live her life out in unwed bliss with a Brazilian national had not taken into account US immigration policy. One night in jail and one summary deportation later, two happy divorcees with an aversion to marriage find themselves sentenced to wed if they ever wanted to live in America again.
It’s not giving too much away to tell you that this book ends on an upnote too, with the inevitable happy ever after in the final pages. Again. But then, as Gilbert herself acknowledges, “it is the emotional trademark of my culture to seek happiness”.
In her quest to make peace with a second marriage, she examines the institution from historical, sociological, statistical and cultural perspectives, reporting her findings in a form that makes for a skip-along read.
From a Hmong family in Vietnam she learns to reassess her western inclination to hang all her happiness on love or marriage. From her mother she learns to accommodate mixed feelings on how marriage affects the women who become wives.
She spends some time simply seeking out a definition of marriage, sifting through history, and the various traditions that have muscled in on the marriage formula. What she finds is an array of contradictory interpretations. In ancient Rome, she claims, it was permitted for young aristocratic men to marry each other, while in China, the definition of marriage once included the union between a woman and a dead man. In unearthing such differing takes on an institution often defended with words like “time-honoured” and “traditional”, she also makes a compelling case – as if such were needed – for gay marriage. Add to this her feminist focus on an institution that “traditionally” as good as erased the individual rights of women who entered into it, and you may find yourself questioning why it’s still so popular. And that’s before she gets started on divorce rates.
All this study and rumination takes place as she and her fiance wander the world, awaiting the green light from the US authorities which will allow them to tie the knot. Gilbert’s self-indulgence is consistently countered by self-deprecation, and descriptions of herself as trembling like “a shitty little coward” go some way towards dissolving any irritation at moments of solipsism.
At times, her synthesis of so much information reads more like simplification, and she sure is a fan of the sweeping statement. But she’s also a clever writer, and disarmingly up front about her highly personal, pick-and-mix approach to her subject.
The arguments against marriage can make for uncomfortable reading, and Gilbert’s own acknowledged effort to persuade herself that marriage is in fact a subversive act doesn’t entirely succeed. And while you may end up rooting for Gilbert and her husband-to-be, you can’t miss the warning in the preceding pages to anyone getting hitched: that wedding bells don’t necessarily presage fairytale endings. Except, of course, in books.
Fiona McCann writes for The Irish Times and blogs at www.irishtimes.com/blogs. She got married last year.