Wise Or Foolish Virgins?


Sir, - May I bring a query to a discerning Irish Times readership? It concerns three young women (ages 25-27) who came to my attention over the height of the party-going period.

None of them is married. All are attractive, intelligent and hold excellent job positions. All are virgins and have chosen to remain so until the commitment of marriage.

None of them has had any difficulty in attracting men-friends. But after, perhaps, six weeks, the men have wanted full sexual intimacy. The girls have explained their choice to remain virgins - and have been dropped. Their choice is clearly thought through in relation to their values and what they believe is good and healthy for themselves and for society. The girls say that from the teen years they have been faced with this difficulty. Clearly, more andmore teenagers capitulate to the pressures and have a series of intimate relationships, only a minority of which are likely to be "the real thing". They claim that they have to discover whether or not they are sexually compatible (married people know the myriad ways in which sexual relationship can change with the exigencies of the years and the quality of enduring love required to battle against the odds).

These girls are among a significant number of women looking for a partner who will share, not only fun, but also affection, understanding, tolerance, self-control, family challenges, life values and enduring adult friendships. The physical bonding will be an expression of fidelity "for better and for worse".

But are these women going to find like-minded partners or are they effectively being denied choice? Is it a question of remaining single, waiting in hope, or capitulating? - Yours, etc.,

Angela MacNamara, The Old Farm, Lower Kilmacud Road, Dublin 14.