Sir, – With regard to your series of printed letters and comments on Beethoven’s shopping note (Breaking News, January 10th Letters, January 16th-23rd). This avid reader of your esteemed newspaper notes that your letter- writers are having a Field day and obviously Ravel in the subject matter. Gluck to them all. – Yours, etc,
A chara, – In this age of increasing sax and violas, I have little symphony for those readers who can’t Handel this seemingly well-orchestrated effort by some to be humorous.
Their unease though is entirely Previntable. I suggest tea in the Four Seasons would help them regain their composer. – Is mise,
A chara, – Huge thanks to all those who contributed punny composer letters recently. I have cut them all out and thrown them on my compost heap.
Messrs Lizst, Bach, Beethoven et al can now peacefully decompose! – Is mise,
Sir, For those gentlemen who wish to emigrate because of Beethoven’s Liszt, as Rimsky said, let the Bums take Flight because of Korsakov they will Bee Bach. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – These punsters are a pain in the Bachside. If I Caccini of them I’ll give them a good telling Orff. It Beethovens you, Sir, to put an end to this nonsense – Für Elise sake. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – I can Bruch these musical punster no longer. I am tempted to make a Fauré into their camp, armed with gun and Holst-er, and let them have a good Haydn. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – Enough. Far too many people are starting to Ravel in all of this and it lowers the tone of your publication. A Bachwards step indeed. I am getting crotchety. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – I suggest all these Beethoven punsters just go and get Garfunkel’d. It’s been Cohen on for long enough. I’m on the Edge, and it seems there is no Lennon up on the Harrison. It’s giving me Bocellism. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – Enough of these E.Grieg-ious puns. Please call them Orff! Yours, etc,
Sir, – I hate to harp on about this, but I’m delighted to note your lieder-writer hasn’t tuned in to all this composer pun nonsense. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – May I protest at the amount of utter drivel that has been appearing in the hallowed Letters page. Quite frankly it has all been all Grieg to me and given the current economic situation I am under enough Strauss already.
For God’s sake man get a Holst of yourself and bring back a sense of decorum. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – After reading the many letters on the above subject, I took to the bottle and got properly Franz Liszt! – Yours, etc.