I was sitting in the train, quite relaxed, minding my own business, at peace with the world. A fair-haired woman wearing a short suede jacket came in and sat opposite me. She stared at me, which was embarrassing. At my age I don't expect good-looking women to be giving me close attention. Thirty years ago I would have been chuffed.
Then, to my relief, she moved to a seat across the isle, took a big writing pad out of her bag and began to write. Or rather, I thought she was writing. She was still staring at me, so I pretended to go to sleep. After a while I opened one eye and noticed she still had me in her sights. Then, lo and behold, I realised what she was at. She was - believe it or not - drawing a portrait of me. I was mortified, because I have a battered, late-middle-aged face and I couldn't understand what she saw in it. Also, it made me uncomfortable.
Blushing
Luckily, I wasn't travelling very far and soon escaped, blushing like a teenager. When I got out of the train and walked past her window, I saw her still drawing away at my head on the paper. It was quite a good likeness.
So, what did she see in my face that was worth sketching?
They say you can see a lot in a face. Some people say they know an "honest face", but others claim that "looks can be deceptive". Having been a journalist for over 40 years, I have become sceptical of many things in life, so I go for the latter viewpoint. Remember Babyface Nelson, public enemy number one? Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, but he could put you away with a sub-machine-gun in a Chicago back alley before you could say Jack Robinson.
You don't give a loan to a perfect stranger just because they have fair hair and a good bone structure, do you? You don't give a person a job just because they are good looking. If they are good looking and talented, yes, but otherwise no siree.
Then again, if a person has a battered, scarred face and the backside falling out of his trousers you are immediately suspicious of him. Yet, that person could have a "heart of gold", adore his wife and have raised a family of doctors and rocket scientists.
So why have we all this nonsense about looks and personality?
I'd better explain what I'm leading up to here. It all started after I read an interesting article about faces. Apparently, new research has shown that your face gives away volumes of information about your personality and aspirations. Facereading, the article said, is an ancient Chinese practice. The art of reading faces, known as Siang Mien, has been practised in China for more than 3,000 years. Shortly after this, I read a review of a book entitled The Secret Language of Your Face, by Chi An Kuei. It is a step-by-step guide to this ancient arts.
Court painter
Books about Siang Mien were accessible only to the Chinese emperors and were guarded as treasure. Just how much the ruler was influenced by the art of reading faces is shown by the Emperor Tsin-Che-Wong, who ruled in 221 BC. He flatly refused to let his court painter portray him as he was, even though the custom of the time demanded it. He ordered a completely different portrait to be painted - with a face showing all the most auspicious features which would convince his subjects of his goodness and benevolence.
Chi An Kuei says: "Our basic character traits are actually already established through our main facial features, but it is the way we handle these predispositions that provides the key not only to our happiness and success but also to our fate."
This face-reading practice is apparently gaining followers in the US. Believe it or not, trials are taking place to teach employers how they can read the faces of potential employees. No doubt in a few years' time the fad will be sneaking in here. The Americans were always keen testing the IQ of their staff and grading them accordingly.
Recently I came across a fascinating newspaper interview with an Englishman named Simon Brown, who was described as a face-reading consultant. He was explaining the history of face-reading and how it applied to medicine.
"Originally, if you were a doctor, how long your patients lived was a measure of how good you were," he says. "So it was essential to be able to predict illnesses before they set in and became difficult to cure."
Yin and Yang
That is how face-reading started: it was believed that different parts of the face related to different parts of the body, based on the opposing principles of Yin and Yang. Therefore, by studying someone's features it was possible to diagnose the condition of a related organ.
Brown adds: "Because it is a holistic system, the emotions are closely linked with the physical. Thus an aspect of face-reading is being able to read someone's emotional state."
All very interesting. In fact, looking in the mirror has taken on a whole new meaning for me. In recent weeks, while shaving, I have been trying to work out this Yin and Yang business. But to tell the truth, I'm getting nowhere with it and it only seems to confuse me. I have come to the conclusion that the old adage "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing" may apply.