Could it be happy ever after for the promiscuous notes?

SKETCH:IT'S SPRINGTIME, and they played a saucy little game of nudge and wink financial footsie in the Dáil.

Everyone seemed to be in on it.

The promiscuous notes have them driven mad with anticipation. They could hold the key to the slow beginning of a much desired happy ever after. The Opposition craved an answer.

Are the notes linked to our referendum on the European fiscal treaty? Is the path to a better future dependent on those notes being renegotiated in Ireland’s favour before more billions have to be paid in bank debt? Does the timing of the referendum turn on this? The Opposition pleaded repeatedly for a date. You could sense the longing.

C’mon Enda. Name the day. You know you want to . . .

He didn’t, but in a teasing way. You could tell the Taoiseach knew that the Opposition knows that he knows the renegotiation is crucial to the fate of the referendum.

But he couldn’t tell them this because there are outside forces which could block the path to happiness if he says too much.

So, much as he desires the same outcome, he tried to dampen the ardour of Micheál Martin and Shane Ross as they pressed for an answer.

It was like we’d landed in the middle of a Mills Boon plot instead of Leaders’ Questions on a Tuesday afternoon.

Micheál and Shane indicated that they had been led on by members of the Government over the promiscuous notes. They had received too many come-hither signals from across the floor to believe that a renegotiation of the notes will not be linked to the holding of the fiscal referendum.

Pat Rabbitte went so far as to say the promiscuous notes would be adjusted by March 31st.

Why wouldn’t deputies Martin and Ross have expectations? But the Taoiseach remained coyly impervious to their heartfelt pleadings for a referendum date.

Enda is not unaware of the importance of the promiscuous notes, but neither does he want to lead anyone up the garden path.

He tried to let Shane down gently. He should not “get carried away that there is a longing and an expectation that this will be concluded, so far as the promissory note is concerned, on March 17th, or whenever”.

Shane just smiled back at him. He knows how Enda really feels.

The Taoiseach dealt similarly with Micheál. “I’m not going to stand up and commit to a heightened expectation that this can be delivered in a fortnight or three weeks.”

Yet there was something about his strong smile and the manly jut of his jaw beneath that curling strawberry blonde mane that had them quite undone on the Opposition benches.

Deputy Ross tried to sound nonchalant as he coquettishly continued with his attempts to get an answer from Enda. He got nowhere, although, reading between the lines, he understood the Taoiseach was not blind to the import of what he was saying. And he said as much yesterday.

“My guess is that the Taoiseach will surprise himself with how quickly he will be able to come to the conclusion that it is time for a referendum when he announces, before March 31st, that the Anglo Irish Bank promissory deal is done. I would suspect the Taoiseach will surprise everybody in this House with the speed with which the Cabinet, suddenly, will be able to come to that conclusion.”

Enda pretended not to know what he was talking about, in a nudge-and-wink sort of way. And everyone swooned happily.

Because they realised that the Taoiseach can’t come into the chamber and announce to all and sundry that a deal has been done on the promiscuous notes before anything has been agreed.

But you could see he wanted to.

As he told Deputy Martin earlier, some in Europe are not fully supportive of what Ireland has in mind with the promiscuous notes and other financial concessions. Their view is: “Well look, you got yourselves into this mess. Get yourself out of it.”

We must tread delicately in affairs of the economic heart.

Instead, he promised he would come back to the Dáil “and report to the House when progress is made”. Can’t say fairer than that.

Micheál and Shane thanked him from the bottom of their heaving bosoms. They may not have been given a date, but their expectations were not dashed. They left fully expecting a happy announcement from Enda before the month is out.

Meanwhile, the Taoiseach and the Tánaiste will mark their first year in power with a progress report today. Government sources indicated that they will not be issuing report cards for individual Ministers. Instead, expect the sound of joyful trumpets from the vicinity of Government Buildings this afternoon as they list all their achievements. Today is Much Done, More to Do Day.

With a nod and a wink to those promiscuous notes.