Donie on births, deaths and marriages; more offspring and off-piste; a lovely bit of Latin; political animal makes a recovery; Sargent likes leeks, dislikes headlocks; counting cliches; Deenihan's documentaries
Fianna Fáil's leader in the Seanad, Donie Cassidy, was in philosophical mood during the week. On the Upper House's first day back since the Christmas break, he noted the sad passing of singer Joe Dolan, who died on St Stephen's Day.
"Death can leave a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory no one can steal," said a wistful Donie, senator, hotelier and country 'n' Irish impresario.
Mindful that God never closes one door but he opens another, Donie also took the opportunity to congratulate Senator Eoghan Harris on his recent marriage. "We were all delighted to hear the news," said Donie.
"What about congratulating his wife?" demanded David Norris.
But Donie, who was on a roll at this stage and intoxicated by the twists and turn of life, ignored him.
"I also congratulate Senator Ivana Bacik on the birth of her baby," he continued.
"Bravo!" boomed David, who had quite forgotten about Donie forgetting the new Mrs Harris.
Senator Cassidy remained in pensive mood. "Many events take place during recesses, some joyous and others sad. I often wonder what we may face when we return or what joyous events there may be to celebrate," he mused. And everyone sighed. The Seanad is so civilised.
Donie was a mine of information on Wednesday. As members were commenting that they needed more time to debate certain important issues, he hoped they didn't want a return to the bad old days, where politicians in Leinster House used to talk into the early hours.
"The two longest speeches made in either House were by the legendary Senator Bernard McGlinchey who spoke in this House for eight hours and 20 minutes and, on another occasion, for seven hours and 15 minutes." These days, it only seems like the present incumbents are speaking for that long.
Let us add our congratulations to Senator Bacik, who gave birth just after Christmas in the Coombe hospital to her second daughter. Louie is a sister for Cyan (2), and Ivana and partner Alan are delighted with their new arrival. Her Seanad colleague, Fine Gael's Paschal O'Donoghue, is also celebrating. Paschal became a dad for the second time at the end of November, when wife Justine gave birth to their baby daughter Lucy, a sister for Oscar.
While we're at it, best wishes for a speedy recovery to Richard Moore, Foreign Minister Dermot Ahern's very able and amiable press secretary. In his various roles with ministers over the years, Richard has proved a very safe pair of hands. He isn't so adept in the foot department and is currently nursing a broken leg after a skiing accident.
As the redecoration of the Dáil bar continues - it's like an explosion in a flock factory - new features in the form of full-length mirrors and artwork have appeared since Christmas. Pride of place goes to a beautiful piece by textile artist Maree Hensey, based on the inscription on the foundation stone of Leinster House, which was laid in 1745.
The Latin words flitting across the surface of Maree's work may make as much sense to the viewer as a typical Bertie Ahern reply during Leaders' Questions, but they are far more soothing on the eye that the Taoiseach's ramblings are on the ear.
"DOMUM CUJUS HIC LAPIS FUNDAMEN IN AGRO MOLESWORTHIANA EXTRUI CURAVIT JACOBUS" begins the inscription, marking the decision of James, 20th Earl of Kildare, to build his house in the Molesworth field.
The message extracted from the ancient foundation stone continues in translation: "Hence learn, when in some unhappy time you chance on the ruins of so magnificent a house, how great was he who erected it, and how perishable are all things when such monuments of such men cannot survive adversity."
The author, in 1745, wasn't to know that over two centuries later, a man by the name of Bertie Ahern would rule the roost in the Earl of Kildare's mansion, doing his successful best to confound the prevailing wisdom that all political careers are perishable, and continuing to prove that it is possible to survive adversity in the most difficult of circumstances.
Some might say the fortunes of the Fine Gael racehorse On Your Way are quite similar to those of the party. The eight-year-old's career began with a promising start and high hopes of major success, followed by a number of catastrophes, then a revival of form and renewed optimism.
Nearly two dozen members of the parliamentary party have an interest in the horse, calling themselves the On Your Side syndicate. The bay gelding was purchased in 2003, and had his most successful year in 2005, winning over €70,000 in prize money and more than paying for himself.
Unfortunately, illness and injury struck and he hasn't had too much success since. Having recovered from a damaged fetlock, On Your Way then fell victim to a problem with wind, an understandable condition for a horse owned by politicians, who probably passed it onto him.
Now, however, Senator Paul Bradford tells us that On Your Way, fresh from an operation, is on his way back. Paul is not deterred by the fact that the horse came last in his most recent outing at Thurles, insisting he is making good progress with Wexford-based trainer, Liz Doyle.
Liz is the daughter of Fine Gael MEP, Avril Doyle, keeping the blueshirt bloodline pure.
Minister for Food Trevor Sargent is alarmingly promiscuous when it comes to vegetables. At the end of last year, we reported on his love affair with the humble brussels sprout, and his mission to introduce Ireland to the charms of this saucy little brassica.
The new year was hardly upon us when he had switched his affections to the potato, his head turned by the news that 2008 is the UN Year of the Potato. (By the way, have the spud-growing kits he promised to schools arrived yet?) Needless to say, January is barely over and fickle Trevor has already blown out his Golden Wonders. He has fallen for another. Again.
The Minister's latest publicity shot sees him cuddling up to an enormous organic leek. Now he is exhorting the public to "Choose Life. Choose Leeks!" We predict a passionate but short infatuation. All it will take is a smile from a cabbage or a wink from a passing carrot, and he'll be off again.
During the Mahon tribunal confidence motion in the Dáil on Wednesday, members of the Green Party gave the chamber a wide berth for most of the debate. This didn't stop Fine Gael's Fergus O'Dowd having a go at former Green leader Trevor in his absence.
Fergus gleefully informed the house that Minister Sargent appears to have removed from his online CV a thrilling account of the time he was attacked during a meeting by a Fianna Fáil councillor who didn't want him waving about a cheque he had been sent by a property developer.
This event, Trevor's Finest Hour, happened in the chamber of Dublin County Council in 1993 and he has dined out on it ever since. He told the Taoiseach Cllr Don Lydon was the man who wrestled him to the ground.
"He was apoplectic to the point that he got me in a headlock, Taoiseach, and went to grab a mere £100 cheque that had been sent to the Green Party," quivered Trevor.
Is that all forgotten now? Deputy O'Dowd wondered if Trevor has expunged the episode from his CV in deference to his Fianna Fáil Coalition partners. If this is the case, it is a "very sad" development" he said.
And there the matter rested until yesterday, when we rang Trevor to find out more. At first, he thought we were ringing to ask about leeks. The junior minister confessed he had no idea that his story of the headlock, the cheque and the Fianna Fail councilor was gone from the Green website. He promised to investigate.
A party press officer explained Trevor's CV had been edited down for space reasons. However, the spokesman says Minister Sargent is extremely proud of his stance against corruption, and a full account can still be read in full, lurid detail in A Journey to Change: 25 Years of Green Party Politics in Ireland.
By the way, the Greens may be getting a bit fed up with all the jibes they have had to endure since entering government, but they haven't lost their sense of humour.
An e-mail reached us yesterday. "Our press office is taking a tally on Green cliches committed by media and opposition for a possible name-and-shame event at some point in the future. Your column is one of the worst offenders, I am sorry to announce, but the last couple of days in the Dáil have upped the stakes big time for FG.
"The cliche count, in order of persistence, is breaking down like this: Colour-related (Greens see red, etc): 30 per cent; Gormless-related: 25 per cent; Light bulb-related (dim and dimmer, etc): 15 per cent; Mudguard-related: 10 per cent; U-turn-related: 10 per cent; Salad-related (wilting in particular): 10 per cent." Guilty as charged.
Donie Cassidy's credentials in the entertainment industry are well recognised. But it isn't so widely known that Fine Gael defence spokesman and former Kerry football captain Jimmy Deenihan is also a slick operator. Jimmy has made many documentaries for RTÉ. His most recent effort, telling the story of Kerry football, was repeated on Christmas Day and attracted nearly 230,000 viewers.
He has also published books on the great writers of his native county, and has organised sell-out tribute shows in Dublin's National Concert Hall on many of Kerry's favourite sons.
Jimmy's endeavours may all be tied in to local fundraising drives, but his documentaries are professionally produced and directed, with Deenihan assuming the role of executive director. He is planning a new documentary on the River Feale.
"I just do it for a bit of a pastime. The shows are all tightly done and produced on small budgets. The football documentary cost €80,000, raised through sponsorship. I was a history teacher before entering politics, and was very influenced by the likes of Bryan McMahon and John B Keane," says Jimmy.
At Easter, he travels to New York with an art exhibition of bog landscapes which he organised around the Finogue Writers Festival.
"The documentaries provide a valuable local record, while I find them useful for taking my mind off politics. When you're in opposition for a long time, you must remain positive."