Male cancer sufferers have traditionally been extremely slow to seek emotional support, but this is now changing
AROUND IRELAND every week, cancer patients and survivors get together in support groups to share their experiences and draw comfort and emotional support from one another. Men are notoriously reticent to seek support or to discuss their health and, as a result, the number of support groups for men with cancer has typically lagged far behind those for women.
However, male attitudes to support networks are gradually changing, according to patient support groups manager at the Irish Cancer Society, Olwyn Ryan. “I’ve been working in this area for over 20 years and until recently it was very hard to recruit men to operate these groups or to get men to use them,” she says. “But things are changing. We have a lymphoma support group and there are quite a few men involved in that and similarly with our bowel cancer support group. The proportion of men involved in these groups is perhaps a fifth which is much higher than it was. It’s still low, but it’s improving.”
Men make up approximately one-third of attendees at Arc Cancer Support in Cork, which offers individual and group support therapies for cancer patients. The organisation does not run men-only support groups, according to director of services, Ellen Joyce. “Our services are open to men and women. We have tried to set up groups for men but there is a real hesitancy among men about getting involved.
“I think that men have different needs when it comes to support. They are far more practical – that’s not to say that they are not looking for psychological support but they are far more interested in getting information. To entice them in to the centre we organise information events and the men who come along will often then go on to avail of therapy.”
The Dublin Arc Centre on Eccles Street runs a group support programme for male cancer patients but it is more information focused than the equivalent programme for women, according to director of services Ursula Courtney.
“I think that having these men-only sessions is very important,” says Courtney. “We do have men who come to our general support groups but they are not at their most comfortable when there are women there. Men, in general, are not good at seeking support and they are not as comfortable with their feelings.”
The group sessions are deliberately structured to be “psycho-educative”, says Courtney. “We have a lecture from an expert, whether it be in radiotherapy or surgery and men are very interested in that. Women look for information too but they are more interested in the support side of things. Men will ask more questions at the end of a lecture so that there’s less time for the touchy-feely bit at the end.
“But by the third or fourth week we will usually have moved on to discussing how cancer impacts emotions, sexuality and relationships and so on. We find that men are very respectful and very caring of one another in this environment. We sometimes ask them if they want to bring their partners for the last session and the answer is almost always a resounding ‘no’. They see this as ‘their time’ and I think they worry that women will take over and ask questions they see as inappropriate.”
The LARCC Cancer Centre in Mullingar, Co Westmeath which was established in 2002, provides men only residential weeks to support male clients with a cancer diagnosis. The men spend five days at the centre attending morning group sessions and in the afternoon they can access therapies from a team of therapists, nurses and counsellors including t’ai chi, meditation and acupuncture.
“There is the usual hesitancy you have with any man when it comes to health issues,” says director of services Sue Bennett, “but when they do come here they are very good at embracing it and enjoying themselves. They find it very cathartic.”
Accessing group or peer-to-peer support services is a vital part of the recovery process, according to the Irish Cancer Society’s Olwyn Ryan.
“A cancer patient has a range of healthcare professionals supporting them in the treatment phase but post treatment there is a piece of the puzzle which no healthcare professional can provide and that is help with the emotional side effects. The only person who can do that is someone who has been through it.
“On a practical level with prostate cancer, for example, there are issues around impotence and incontinence – someone who has been through that and knows what it is like understands at a practical level how to deal with it and it is somehow easier to share these things with a relative stranger. Patients and families don’t always share these things because on some level they are trying to protect each other.”
mkelly@irishtimes.com