THAT'S MEN:Men whose social lives are linked to work can feel lost if they don't cultivate friendships before they retire, writes PADRAIG O'MORAIN.
‘CONTEXT-SPECIFIC relationships” is an unattractive piece of jargon but it expresses a truth that men, in particular, need to know about.
This is especially so if you’re planning to retire any time soon.
I first came across the phrase years ago in a study of men who left what might be called “middle class” jobs through retirement or redundancy.
The study found that these men were at a high risk of losing their social life along with their jobs. This is because many of their relationships were “context-specific” as it was put.
In other words, their friendships were with people at work or who were somehow connected with their work. When the work went, the friendships generally went with it. It’s an all too common story, I fear.
Now I see research from Australia which suggests that nothing has changed. Judge for yourself as to whether the research applies to Ireland or, at least, whether it applies to you.
What it found is that men and women make financial plans before retirement – but many men leave it at that.
Women also build up their social relationships and recreational interests before they retire.
This gives them a network and a set of activities that continue post-retirement.
Men, perhaps because they are so used to judging themselves by their role as (usually) principal earners, are far less likely to put in the work that is needed to build up friendships.
There are differences between different groups of men in this regard. That old study about “context-specific” relationships found that working class men were far more likely to have friendships that did not depend on the jobs they did. So, socially they fared better following retirement or redundancy.
The Australian study, reported in the Journal of Psychology and Ageing, found that the higher the income of men and women at work the less likely they are to make plans for what they will do after they retire.
Why this should be so, I simply do not know. But I do know it’s bad for the future happiness and health of all concerned.
There is a lot of evidence to suggest that a good social life wards off dementia and protects against other forms of ill health.
An explanation for this is still to be agreed. Is it because social interaction keeps your brain agile? Or is there something else at work, connected to the human need for belonging?
We simply don’t know. But all the way from Sweden to the United States, over the decades, social networks have been linked with better health.
The importance of planning for social and other activities in the years after retirement is underlined by research suggesting a sense of purpose can prolong your life.
US research published in Psychosomatic Medicine suggests that people with a sense of purpose have a significantly longer life-expectancy than those who lack that sense.
A sense of purpose can be built around sport, the arts, campaigning, caring for another person and other pursuits.
In the research, those at relatively high risk of mortality included people who agreed with the following three statements: “I sometimes feel as if I’ve done all there is to do in life”; “I used to set goals for myself, but that now seems like a waste of time”; “My daily activities often seem trivial and unimportant to me.” In other words, their sense of purpose had gone.
Being involved in a social network gives people a sense of purpose though I’m not suggesting that’s the only way in which to live a purposeful life.
What has this to do with you if you haven’t already retired? The Australian researchers suggest that we are far more likely to take up new activities before we retire than afterwards.
So if you haven’t retired and if you haven’t got a social life independent of work, now is the time to get going on it.
If you’ve already retired, you might get involved in volunteering, campaigning, sports or other activities.
Some links which might get you started are: Active Retirement Ireland (www.fara.ie), The Irish Senior Citizens Parliament (http://iscp.wordpress.com/) and Volunteering Ireland (www.volunteeringireland.ie– check the Links page for local volunteer centres).
Padraig O'Morain is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His book,
That's Men, the best of the That's Men column from The Irish Times, is published by Veritas.