Graham Love was no stranger to multiple sclerosis but, he tells Claire O'Connell, when his brother was diagnosed his life took a new direction
Dr Graham Love is not a big believer in signs, but last summer he saw a job ad in The Irish Times that hit him "like a bolt of lightning".
For months, he had been thinking of leaving his position as project manager with a management consulting firm. "During this phase I got an awful phone call one night from my brother who lives in Paris to tell me he had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He's 39."
Love was no stranger to the disease, which damages the protective sheath covering nerves and can cause a range of mild or more debilitating symptoms. His mother and uncle had suffered severe symptoms, and he describes the latest diagnosis in the family as sad, awful news.
The following week, while the reality of his brother's illness was still sinking in, he opened the jobs section of the paper as usual and scanned the notices until one caught his eye. The position being advertised was chief executive of the Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Society of Ireland. "The rest is history," says Love. "I went for it, sewed the management consulting job up and started here in January."
As well as bringing seven years of management experience to his new post, Love also has the benefit of scientific training, having done a PhD in pharmacology at University College Dublin.
He says he enjoyed research, but knew that a life in the lab was not for him. "In science you could be working at something for two years before you see results and, laudable as it is, I didn't have the mindset for it. Other people are more patient, I needed something with a faster return on my efforts," he says.
He found his fix at Accenture where he worked as a management consultant in Brussels, London and Dublin, exercising the communications and analytical skills he had honed while training as a scientific researcher.
But last year he no longer felt motivated to move up within the company. He says the bombshell of his brother's news triggered him to go and do something about it, and the position at the MS Society, which represents the approximately 6,000 people in Ireland with the condition, came up at the right time.
Love feels his personal experience of living with MS in the family contributes enormously to his ability to do his current job. His mother was diagnosed with the condition in 1967, but her husband didn't tell her for several years. "It was old-fashioned medicine back then," says Love, who says his father carried the burden of that knowledge alone.
His mother went into remission for several years and lived an active life. In 1970 she gave birth to Graham, the youngest of her four children.
In the early 1970s, the symptoms started to return, affecting her lower limbs. "I have a very vivid memory of going off to school one day aged about five or six and mum was able to move around slowly by herself," says Love. "I came home that day to find mum was in a wheelchair, a big, wide, wine-coloured wheelchair."
The disease progressed to her upper limbs in the 1980s, and she suffered complications of immobility such as bed sores. During the 1990s her condition worsened further, and she died in 1998 from an infection.
"Things had gotten pretty far on at that stage," says Love. "It was a very tough time but it was also a release."
His family's experiences mean that Love, who lives in Dublin with his wife Sally and their two small children, can relate to the people the MS Society represents and better understand their needs.
He says that trained MS Society community workers are often the first point of contact after a diagnosis of MS. They can help organise State entitlements and set up local contacts with other people who are living with the condition.
"It's extremely important how you do this," says Love. "That's why you need the skill of the MS community workers. You need to bring people into their own milieu of MS, what they are comfortable with. Many people go through denial, and to get them into the acceptance phase and to be okay with it is a huge task."
The society, which has a staff of 70 and volunteers, also offers services such as free psychological counselling, a helpline and information booklets and events. It recently lobbied to ensure that people with MS are eligible for services provided under the Disability Bill.
Love knows that caring for someone with MS can be relentlessly hard work, and part of the society's remit is to support the family as well as the person themselves. It runs a 12-bed respite centre in Rathgar where people suffering from the condition can stay for a week.
"It's a nice week for the person with MS because it's a pleasant place and there are therapies there, but above all it's a break for the family when they know that their loved one is being well looked after," he says.
The jolt of his brother's diagnosis gave Love the impetus to move into his role at the society, and he feels it is a long-term shift in perspective. "I've had shocks before and quickly gone back into the old ways, but the news of my brother left a mark. It shifted everything."
The MS Society's helpline is 1850 233 233. This service is available on weekdays, 10am-5pm and on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, 6.30pm-9.30pm.