One little word can mean so much

"MUM", the panic striken voice in the supermarket hollered last week and I found myself swivelling round on auto pilot and reaching out to soothe the worried youngster - only to meet the startled gaze of another mother whose child was the one doing the actual hollering.

It's amazing the Pavlovian reaction you develop to the word "Mum" after a few years of motherhood. Some deep seated, primeval instinct is activated and like the "flight or fight" syndrome, you go automatically into protective/mother mode.

Despite my children being well into their teens now, a distraught "Mum" can still freeze my blood and I find myself with one leg poised ready to sprint towards the distressed child. How old do your kids have to be before you lose the instinctive reaction to that one little word - or are we imprinted with it forever?

Before I had children I used to think I'd want none of this "Mum" and "Dad" stuff, I'd have my children call me by my first name. I remember meeting parents who were called Mary and John by their kids and it seemed the height of sophistication - until to my amazement, Mary confessed that it happened rather by accident and that her heart went pitter patter the odd time they said "Mum".

I used to think I'd hate to be regarded as just someone's mother and not as a person in my own right but, lo and behold, the first time somebody said "You're John's mother, aren't you?", I practically blushed with pride. There was even a while during which I was known as John's Mum as in "Hello, John's Mum" and I simpered ridiculously in the reflected glory.

The actual word has changed over the years. It started as Mama, then it became Mummy, sometimes Mommy - or more often Mom-mee to register dissatisfaction with my behaviour. The brisker and more business like Mum emerged towards the end of primary school - though misbehaviour on my part would produce a long, drawn out, disapproving "Mot-her".

When they were toddlers they did occasionally call me by my first name, but they'd drop dead rather than do it now. Mothers of, friends, however, are universally referred to by their first names; it's years since I've heard anyone referred to as Mrs. . . and this seems to be the norm.

But me - I'm still Mum, sometimes uttered a little patronisingly - even pityingly - these days as in "Mum-mm, Sting's not a group...", sometimes wheedlingly as in "Mo-om, everyone gets £10 pocket money". When they think I'm going to really embarrass them they've even started saying "Mum" in the warning tone of voice I use to chastise them.

And I continue worrying that I'll grab someone's child and give it a comforting hug the next time someone yells "Mum" in the supermarket - I don't suppose they have de programming sessions for mothers?