Brianna Parkins: What to pack for ‘Euro Summer’ in Ireland

There is a sick subset of person who takes enjoyment from picking out outfits ahead of time, instead of throwing a jumble of tops and bottoms in a suitcase at an alarmingly uneven ratio and hoping for the best.

Usually you only get 10 minutes before you leave the house to enjoy the agony of “I have nothing to wear” and “why do my clothes look cool on the hanger but make me look like an eccentric high school art teacher when I wear them?” Why not extend the meltdown over a few days as you plan all 14 daily outfits for your summer holiday?

An entire genre of content on TikTok has spawned from planning holiday outfits and detailing the contents of ‘hauls’ from Zara, Amazon and Shein. Yes, Shein, the online retailer who gave influencers (famously impartial and doggedly tenacious in their investigation skills) an all-expenses paid trip to a factory in China to beat allegations of sweatshop-like conditions for its workers. One influencer declared she neither saw sweat nor a shop so that’s case closed.

“They weren’t even sweating, we were the ones sweating,” she said. Convincing.

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In bygone eras we simply showed our friends what we had bought for our holibobs by pulling things out of Penneys bags outside McDonald’s on the high street.

Now in a kind of bizarre adult show and tell, you show the world via the internet all the stuff you bought that you will invariably end up giving away as soon as the first cold breeze of autumn hits.

The last thing you want is your bare skin touching the Ryanair seat where you’ll lose half your skin to the sticky leather

As it is winter in Australia and they panic as soon the weather drops below 15 degrees, hordes of them are migrating with their American counterparts over to Europe for summer.

They call it Euro Summer because Europe is just one country to many of us outsiders. It’s one big land mass of people who love old churches and bang on about culture instead of using that valuable time to upgrade your terrible plumbing.

The tag #europesummeroutfit on TikTok has more than 30 million views on an array of videos that seem to feature different white tops paired with shorts. There seems to be some misguided notion that everyone in Europe wears entirely linen outfits and blue denim overalls. I blame the film Mamma Mia.

The romanticised “Europe” is a place where you can wear a halter neck mini dress as a “travel outfit” because these people think they can jaunt between charming cities on the train. Instead of a cheap Ryanair flight where the last thing you want is your bare skin touching the seat where you’ll lose half your skin to the sticky leather when you try to stand up after a three-hour flight turned into five hours because of delays.

What might be an outfit that works for Taormina might have you freezing in Tallaght so we must be more specific with outfit recommendations. After all, Dublin has just taken the top position of Best Weekend Destination in Global Traveler magazine which means now more than ever we should be sharing what to pack for “Euro Summer” in Ireland.

1. Wellies. From the countryside to the city sidewalks, the place is full of shite. Slip on a pair of these to stop yourself picking up the unwanted souvenir of dog poo on your new trainers while taking in the sights and smell of the capital.
2. Portable bottle. Can be used for drinking or for when nature calls. We have very public toilets. Sorry about that.
3. A big aul jumper. Because it’s still cold here, you big thicks. This can also be rolled up and swung around as a weapon to fend off large and chip-thieving seagulls.

Now get packing and we hope you enjoy EuroSummer23.