How to evict your eight-legged guests

SPIDERS OF Ireland, you are not welcome in my home, be it the kitchen, living room, bathroom and especially not my bedroom. In the past week I have been inundated with uninvited guests of the arachnid variety. Social media have been awash with one horrific spider encounter after another.

I am a somewhat recovering arachnophobe: I am afraid of them but I no longer have panic attacks, throw up or start crying at the sight of one. I have tried “arachna-proofing” my home. I hoovered it top to bottom, sealed every crack, hole, gap and window air vent with sellotape and tissue. Housemates have been threatened with eviction if I discover windows left open. I have also made sure no part of my bed linen touches the floor or that my bed touches any wall, so that it’s more difficult for any spider to run up my bed. There is an old scarf soaked with bug spray wedged under my bedroom door. I sleep with a flip-flop on my bedside locker.

So why are spiders invading our homes at this time of year? Leo Oosterweghel, director of Dublin Zoo and an unapologetic fan of all things arachnid, doesn’t believe spiders are getting bigger in Ireland. But yes, they are more prominent at this time of year.

Here’s the science bit. Some species can live three or four years and will reach their full size in one season – once they reach adulthood they will not grow any bigger. The females will always be larger as their reproductive organs require bigger bodies. We are more likely to see them now as the weather has cooled significantly in recent weeks and these spiders are looking for a place to hibernate. They can hibernate anywhere between three to five months depending on their species and the weather. Sometimes they might even wake up mid-hibernation, stretch out their gnarly legs and go hunting for a little snack, then back to sleep with them until spring.

I was hugely relieved when Oosterweghel reassured me that tropical spiders who may have hitched a ride here in freight or luggage can survive only here a short while.

As to whether Irish spiders bite, sadly, yes. Oosterweghel urges caution when dealing with larger spiders. “Your best defence is a glass and a piece of paper,” he advises. When agitated, those with bigger mandibles may bite you in defence. Reactions to bites vary from person to person but most cause little more than a mild irritation.

Oosterweghel has some advice on how to keep your home spider-free. Clean it. Dust it. Hoover it regularly. If you ever needed a reason to clean your home this is it. Switch off lights outside your doors or windows, because lights attract insects and insects attract hungry spiders.

My advice? Get a housemate who’s not afraid of spiders, and keep a flip-flop close at all times.