Seeing their children flourish is every parent’s wish, but when that success happens overseas feelings of pride can be tinged with sadness. “We are so pleased when they do well, but it is bittersweet,” says Antoinette Fernandes, who has three daughters living in Sydney and one son in Chicago as well as one near home in Co Louth. “They need to spread their wings and have their careers. We want them to do well, but they are so far away, it can be hard not being able to see them for quite a long time.”
Skype, FaceTime and WhatsApp help to bridge the gap, but nothing can beat meeting in person. So Antoinette entered the recent Irish Times Flying Visit competition so she and her husband Franklin could win a trip to Australia to see their daughters, sons-in-law and grandchildren. The fact that another baby is due this year makes it even more special. Her entry has been selected from thousands as the winner of the competition.
“Not a day goes by without contact, whether it’s by text or phone, or just sharing photos,” she says. “They use WhatsApp all the time to send us photos.”
The first of the girls to go to Australia was Louise who headed off in 2008 after qualifying as a solicitor. She now works at a Sydney law firm.
She was followed by Francesca, who went on a working holiday visa, but liked the lifestyle so much she decided to stay. She works in administration at the University of Sydney.
Their sister Alison then moved to Australia to be with her husband James. They married last year and are expecting a baby this year.
“It can be lonely for parents when your children leave home. As a mum I miss little things like being able to meet the girls for lunch or having them pop in for a chat,” says Antoinette.
At home in Carstown, Co Louth, Antoinette steps in as babysitter to 10-month-old Rebecca, the daughter of her son Robert and his wife Ruth, who live nearby.
Their son Anthony is working in hospitality in Illinois, so Antoinette and Franklin end up spending a lot of time staying in touch with family.
Antoinette and Franklin, who are both retired from the health service, are planning to head Down Under for Christmas. They will extend their visit to three weeks and stay in Double Bay and Paddington with their family.
“We will be so happy to get so many of us together, even though it is not all the family, and we will have the new baby there too,” says Antoinette.
This year they will be the ones sending photos home to Ireland from far away.
