Dear Roe,
My partner has brought up their concerns over not having enough sex throughout the week. As a victim of sexual assault, I have told them that it can be difficult for me. How can I take on their concerns regarding sex, while also being sensitive to my own trauma?
I’m going to admit, my back is up immediately. Something that I’ve been watching with absolute dismay is how the rhetoric around sex positivity is being absorbed, weaponised and spat back out by some people as plain old sexual entitlement, disguised in progressive language. Sex positivity is a philosophy that respects everyone’s sexuality and doesn’t judge others for their sexual orientations, desires or actions as long as it’s safe and consensual. Sex positivity has been incredibly important in undoing the shame that has surrounded sex for so long, and the ways in which people have been encouraged to judge and shame themselves and other people, as a means of control and oppression.
Conversations around sex positivity can include giving people permission to prioritise sex and sexual pleasure, whether that’s encouraging individuals to enjoy masturbation without shame, and telling busy couples that they are allowed carve out time for sex and schedule opportunities to have sex in the same way we schedule watching our favourite television shows or having dates — not so that people feel obligated to have sex “on schedule” if they don’t want to, but that they have saved time to connect in whatever way feels good for them at the time. I have, in the past, included suggestions like that in my advice to people, believing that it was obvious that telling people that sex is an important, joyous, pleasurable part of life that they are allowed to value absolutely does not mean that the desire for sex means you automatically have a right to partnered sex, or that the sexual desire of one person ever overrides the boundaries of another person. I increasingly fear that this was naïve, or maybe it has been clear, but some people will just find any way to justify entitlement.
READ MORE
Perhaps your partner is indeed being respectful and gentle and approaching the topic with care and compassion, which is wonderful
When people have sex, they have the right for that sex to be consensual and hopefully pleasurable – but partnered sex itself is not a right, or an entitlement. No one has a right to have sex with anyone else. That is the attitude that has created and perpetuated rape culture, including the support of institutionally supported sexual violence such as marital rape which was only made illegal in Ireland in 1991; and male entitlement to sex, which is being encouraged in a new generation of men by incel communities and misogynistic public figures such as Andrew Tate.
","label":{"audio_project_id":{"display":true,"text":"8948","url":""},"related_collection":{"display":true,"text":"roe-mcdermott"}},"source":{"name":"irishtimes","source_type":"staff","system":"composer"},"taxonomy":{"primary_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},"primary_site":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},"sections":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},{"_id":"/health","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","parent":{"default":"/"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"The latest Health news, analysis and comment brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | The Irish Times"},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Health","order":{"default":1009,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1014,"App-Hamburger":1014,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1011,"sitemap-section":1009},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"ancestors":{"default":[],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":[],"section-page-subnavs":[],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":[],"links-bar":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health"}],"sites":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},{"_id":"/health","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"The latest Health news, analysis and comment brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | The Irish Times"},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Health","order":{"default":1009,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1014,"App-Hamburger":1014,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1011,"sitemap-section":1009},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"ancestors":{"default":[],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":[],"section-page-subnavs":[],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":[],"links-bar":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}}],"tags":[{"description":"Magazine","slug":"magazine","text":"Magazine"}]},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"SPZQNMDURNE5TJXN3HEARHEAL4","additional_properties":{"fullSizeResizeUrl":"/resizer/kr1KlHX0hL8UL9sHa7BWesTJpmw=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/SPZQNMDURNE5TJXN3HEARHEAL4.jpg","galleries":[],"ingestionMethod":"manual","iptc_source":"E+","iptc_title":"Contributor","keywords":["obsessive compulsive dirorder"],"mime_type":"image/jpeg","originalName":"GettyImages-1353629776.jpg","originalUrl":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/SPZQNMDURNE5TJXN3HEARHEAL4.jpg","proxyUrl":"/resizer/kr1KlHX0hL8UL9sHa7BWesTJpmw=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/SPZQNMDURNE5TJXN3HEARHEAL4.jpg","published":true,"resizeUrl":"/resizer/kr1KlHX0hL8UL9sHa7BWesTJpmw=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/SPZQNMDURNE5TJXN3HEARHEAL4.jpg","restricted":false,"takenOn":"2020-09-23T00:00:00Z","thumbnailResizeUrl":"/resizer/MUFhtVNqBM1h4MUJeeFJ5SsbaPM=/300x0/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/SPZQNMDURNE5TJXN3HEARHEAL4.jpg","usage_instructions":"Model Released (MR) ","version":0,"template_id":283},"address":{},"auth":{"1":"892d406656025b17b299bde4d9555094ca23beb8589069c80d810482b6fcd499"},"caption":"No one has a right to have sex with anyone else. Photograph: Getty","created_date":"2023-11-17T12:09:06Z","credits":{"affiliation":[{"name":"Getty Images","type":"author"}],"by":[{"byline":"ArtistGNDphotography","name":"ArtistGNDphotography","type":"author"}]},"distributor":{"category":"stock","mode":"custom","name":"Agency Stock"},"height":4856,"image_type":"photograph","last_updated_date":"2023-11-17T12:09:06Z","licensable":false,"owner":{"id":"irishtimes","sponsored":false},"slug":"1353629776","source":{"name":"Agency Stock","source_type":"stock","additional_properties":{"editor":"photo center"},"edit_url":"","system":"photo center"},"subtitle":"","taxonomy":{"associated_tasks":[]},"type":"image","url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/SPZQNMDURNE5TJXN3HEARHEAL4.jpg","version":"0.10.9","width":7327,"syndication":{},"creditIPTC":"Getty Images"}},"related_content":{"basic":[],"redirect":[]},"distributor":{"category":"staff","name":"irishtimes","subcategory":""},"geo":{},"planning":{"budget_line":"No-one has a right to sex with anyone else.","scheduling":{"planned_publish_date":"2023-11-26T05:00:00.000Z","will_have_image":true},"story_length":{"character_count_actual":6803,"line_count_actual":40,"word_count_actual":1159}},"display_date":"2023-11-26T05:00:00Z","credits":{"by":[{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","type":"author","version":"0.5.8","name":"Roe McDermott","image":{"url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","version":"0.5.8","type":"image","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}},"description":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","url":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","slug":"roe-mcdermott","social_links":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com"},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott"}],"socialLinks":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."}],"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","firstName":"Roe","lastName":"McDermott","byline":"Roe McDermott","image":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","email":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","affiliations":"","author_type":"Contributor","education":[],"awards":[],"books":[],"podcasts":[],"twitter":"roemcdermott","bio_page":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","bio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","longBio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships. A writer and Fulbright scholar with an MA in sexuality studies from San Francisco State University, she is researching a PhD in gendered and sexual citizenship at the Open University and Oxford","slug":"roe-mcdermott","native_app_rendering":false,"fuzzy_match":false,"contributor":false,"status":true,"type":"author","last_updated_date":"2022-06-08T18:10:47.931Z","role":"Contributor","ansImage":{"type":"image","url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}}}}}]},"subtype":"columnist","first_publish_date":"2023-11-26T05:00:00.784Z","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","inactive":false,"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"Stay up-to-date with the latest insights on personal health, well-being, self-care, and everyday wellness, featuring expert advice and lived experience. Brought to you by Ireland’s quality news brand, The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Your Wellness Features | Personal Health, Advice & WellBeing | The Irish Times"},"navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"node_type":"section","children":[],"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"}},"website_url":"/health/your-wellness/2023/11/26/im-an-assault-survivor-and-dont-want-as-much-sex-as-my-partner/"}},"additional_properties":{"audio_duration":436,"audio_url":"https://d22tbkdovk5ea2.cloudfront.net/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/9450380/media/ce442342e0dc44d03f3f3ba383500716_compiled.mp3","has_published_copy":true,"is_published":true,"publish_date":"2023-11-26T05:00:00.784Z"},"publish_date":"2023-11-29T18:01:56.211Z","slug":"mgroe","canonical_url":"/health/your-wellness/2023/11/26/im-an-assault-survivor-and-dont-want-as-much-sex-as-my-partner/","publishing":{"scheduled_operations":{"publish_edition":[],"unpublish_edition":[]}},"website":"irishtimes","website_url":"/health/your-wellness/2023/11/26/im-an-assault-survivor-and-dont-want-as-much-sex-as-my-partner/"};Fusion.globalContentConfig={"source":"content-api-it","query":{"uri":"/health/your-wellness/2023/11/26/im-an-assault-survivor-and-dont-want-as-much-sex-as-my-partner/","website_url":"/health/your-wellness/2023/11/26/im-an-assault-survivor-and-dont-want-as-much-sex-as-my-partner/","arc-site":"irishtimes"}};Fusion.lastModified=1771474832535;Fusion.contentCache={"signing-service":{"{\"id\":\"SPZQNMDURNE5TJXN3HEARHEAL4\"}":{"data":{"hash":"892d406656025b17b299bde4d9555094ca23beb8589069c80d810482b6fcd499","type":"sha256","_id":"3467ba225e2791a3f3f6925bd47cafc848e76c7e740fd1cab92aba5e9bc69214"},"expires":1803010831133,"lastModified":1771474830989},"{\"id\":\"https://static.themebuilder.aws.arc.pub/irishtimes/1647534191476.png\"}":{"data":{"hash":"631eeaa12e7a61c005c8eb0bbf348f785c131b10c4d6b25c28247a15965b5a36","type":"sha256","_id":"8bd659e252b82de6c27bac42028373920e436646b273a5c0296651a455305fed"},"expires":1802945328009,"lastModified":1771409327794},"{\"id\":\"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png\"}":{"data":{"hash":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521","type":"sha256","_id":"a152f856e06d3d5cd84cc0d8049ff2300071fbecb76edbfbe6a65468792da50a"},"expires":1802765465591,"lastModified":1771229465457}},"site-service-hierarchy":{"{\"feature\":\"header-nav-chain\",\"hierarchy\":\"hamburger-menu\"}":{"data":{"children":[{"_id":"link-MY7K0TYT012WZ0V1ZB8PHF0MJC","children":[],"display_name":"Home","node_type":"link","url":"/"},{"_id":"link-TB2EY564VN0N56D137NVP6G5MW","children":[],"display_name":"Latest","node_type":"link","url":"/latest/"},{"_id":"link-ZNGH139WJX4419P1E6XFB2YQBM","children":[],"display_name":"Subscriber Only","node_type":"link","url":"/subscriber-only/"},{"_id":"/crosswords-puzzles","children":[{"_id":"link-LJ26JHL7MNBLDLQ7NGBSGUPOLI","display_name":"The Daily Eight","node_type":"link","url":"/crosswords-puzzles/the-daily-eight/"},{"_id":"link-9RFF8NMDUX08917NND3Z3M1JDR","display_name":"Crosaire","node_type":"link","url":"/crosswords-puzzles/crosaire"},{"_id":"link-31JQ6NX1K92T907WWAU7P7R5RG","display_name":"Simplex","node_type":"link","url":"/crosswords-puzzles/simplex"},{"_id":"link-FVP3FUVCB93Z5DEH56JPZQA70C","display_name":"Sudoku","node_type":"link","url":"/crosswords-puzzles/sudoku"},{"_id":"link-OZWXQ6FKZNAJJGASG6FTFLQRC4","display_name":"News Quiz","node_type":"link","url":"/crosswords-puzzles/news-quiz/"}],"name":"Crosswords & Puzzles","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/ireland","children":[{"_id":"/ireland/dublin","name":"Dublin","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/ireland/education","name":"Education","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/ireland/housing-planning","name":"Housing & Planning","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/ireland/social-affairs","name":"Social Affairs","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"link-432NSPB3WJAAXKSTOTZHACT5EA","display_name":"Stardust","node_type":"link","url":"/ireland/stardust/"}],"name":"Ireland","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/politics","children":[{"_id":"link-MWT7CPJ6Z906HA5HZY5HARQ548","display_name":"Poll","node_type":"link","url":"/politics/poll/"},{"_id":"/politics/oireachtas","name":"Oireachtas","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"link-OVTSEK2LEVCQ7GP5I7N7EIKPG4","display_name":"Common Ground","node_type":"link","url":"/common-ground/"},{"_id":"link-8RRAYZT2TN65HCHPB8CHE4QEPR","display_name":"Elections & Referendums","node_type":"link","url":"/politics/elections-referendums/"}],"name":"Politics","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/opinion","children":[{"_id":"/opinion/editorials","name":"Editorials","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/opinion/an-irish-diary","name":"An Irish Diary","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/opinion/letters","name":"Letters","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/opinion/cartoon","name":"Cartoon","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Opinion","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/business","children":[{"_id":"link-TOZ7E6COGBCMXFR4E4FOPPSYM4","display_name":"Budget 2026","node_type":"link","url":"/budget/"},{"_id":"/business/economy","name":"Economy","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/business/farming-food","name":"Farming & Food","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/business/financial-services","name":"Financial Services","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/business/innovation","name":"Innovation","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/business/markets","name":"Markets","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/business/work","name":"Work","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"link-WE72QDDTEN5EFDZ52U3CGYEZGC","display_name":"Commercial Property","node_type":"link","url":"/property/commercial-property"}],"name":"Business","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/world","children":[{"_id":"/world/europe","name":"Europe","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/world/uk","name":"UK","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/world/us","name":"US","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/world/canada","name":"Canada","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/world/australia","name":"Australia","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/world/africa","name":"Africa","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/world/americas","name":"Americas","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/world/asia-pacific","name":"Asia-Pacific","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/world/middle-east","name":"Middle East","node_type":"section"}],"name":"World","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/sport","children":[{"_id":"link-HQFU4J6QP5AMJJ6PIJDD422YF4","display_name":"Six Nations","node_type":"link","url":"https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/six-nations/"},{"_id":"/sport/rugby","name":"Rugby","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/sport/gaelic-games","name":"Gaelic Games","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/sport/soccer","name":"Soccer","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/sport/golf","name":"Golf","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/sport/racing","name":"Racing","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/sport/athletics","name":"Athletics","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/sport/boxing","name":"Boxing","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/sport/cycling","name":"Cycling","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/sport/hockey","name":"Hockey","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/sport/tennis","name":"Tennis","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Sport","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/your-money","children":[{"_id":"link-C1H4ZB3MP50VZ1C521YDGVJEXR","display_name":"Pricewatch","node_type":"link","url":"/tags/pricewatch"}],"name":"Your Money","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/crime-law","children":[{"_id":"/crime-law/courts","name":"Courts","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Crime & Law","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/property","children":[{"_id":"/property/residential","name":"Residential","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/property/commercial-property","name":"Commercial Property","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/property/interiors","name":"Interiors","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Property","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/food","children":[{"_id":"/food/drink","name":"Drink","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/food/recipes","name":"Recipes","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/food/restaurants","name":"Restaurants","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Food","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/health","children":[{"_id":"/health/your-family","name":"Your Family","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/health/your-fitness","name":"Your Fitness","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","name":"Your Wellness","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/health/your-fitness/get-running","name":"Get Running","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Health","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/life-style","children":[{"_id":"/life-style/fashion","name":"Fashion","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"link-54NMKENEB5ALXEEOCI6MUIRMDI","display_name":"Beauty","node_type":"link","url":"/tags/beauty/"},{"_id":"/life-style/fine-art-antiques","name":"Fine Art & Antiques","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/life-style/gardening","name":"Gardening","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/life-style/people","name":"People","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/life-style/travel","name":"Travel","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Life & Style","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/culture","children":[{"_id":"/culture/art","name":"Art","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/culture/books","name":"Books","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/culture/film","name":"Film","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/culture/music","name":"Music","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/culture/stage","name":"Stage","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/culture/tv-radio","name":"TV & Radio","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Culture","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/environment","children":[{"_id":"/environment/climate-crisis","name":"Climate Crisis","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Environment","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/technology","children":[{"_id":"/technology/big-tech","name":"Big Tech","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/technology/consumer-tech","name":"Consumer Tech","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/technology/data-security","name":"Data & Security","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/technology/gaming","name":"Gaming","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Technology","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/science","children":[{"_id":"/science/space","name":"Space","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Science","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/media","children":[],"name":"Media","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/abroad","children":[],"name":"Abroad","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/obituaries","children":[],"name":"Obituaries","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/transport","children":[],"name":"Transport","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/motors","children":[{"_id":"link-9JYG4R2HT934Q3XVN59UWD3R44","display_name":"Car Reviews","node_type":"link","url":"/motors/car-reviews/"}],"name":"Motors","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"link-TW6BFCQ2W149F0E26FF5PJ8AEM","children":[],"display_name":"Listen","node_type":"link","url":"/listen/"},{"_id":"/podcasts","children":[{"_id":"/podcasts/in-the-news","name":"In the News Podcast","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/podcasts/the-womens-podcast","name":"The Women's Podcast","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/podcasts/inside-politics","name":"Inside Politics Podcast","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/podcasts/inside-business","name":"Inside Business Podcast","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/podcasts/the-counter-ruck","name":"The Counter Ruck Podcast","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly","name":"Ross O'Carroll-Kelly","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/podcasts/better-with-money","name":"Better with Money Podcast","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/podcasts/conversations-with-parents","name":"Conversations with Parents Podcast","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/podcasts/early-edition","name":"Early Edition Podcast","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Podcasts","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/video","children":[],"name":"Video","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/photography","children":[],"name":"Photography","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/gaeilge","children":[{"_id":"/gaeilge/sceal","name":"Scéal","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/gaeilge/tuarascail","name":"Tuarascáil","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Gaeilge","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/history","children":[{"_id":"/history/century","name":"Century","node_type":"section"}],"name":"History","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/student-hub","children":[],"name":"Student Hub","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/offbeat","children":[],"name":"Offbeat","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"link-60C66RDFC91ZZ7GZUA0N497XAC","children":[],"display_name":"Family Notices","node_type":"link","url":"https://notices.irishtimes.com"},{"_id":"/sponsored","children":[{"_id":"/advertising-feature","name":"Advertising Feature","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/special-reports","name":"Special Reports","node_type":"section"}],"name":"Sponsored","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"link-19N4ERU1DD28K2VMDYXMJQ2UV8","children":[],"display_name":"Subscriber Rewards","node_type":"link","url":"/subscriber-rewards/"},{"_id":"/competitions","children":[],"name":"Competitions","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/newsletters","children":[],"name":"Newsletters","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"link-2YA5DNVQF928HEF4EKE1Q0AMEM","children":[],"display_name":"Weather Forecast","node_type":"link","url":"/weather/"}],"_id":"/"},"expires":1771475101786,"lastModified":1771474801734}},"site-service-hierarchy-it":{"{\"arcSite\":\"irishtimes\",\"hierarchy\":\"Logged-in-navigation\"}":{"data":{"children":[{"display_name":"My Account;Manage your account","url":"/myaccount"},{"display_name":"Digital Subscriptions; Frequently asked questions and support","url":"https://help.irishtimes.com"},{"display_name":"Subscriber Only Articles;Specially selected and available only to our subscribers","url":"/subscriber-only/"},{"display_name":"Crosswords & Puzzles;Digital Simplex and Crosaire crosswords","url":"/crosswords-puzzles/"},{"display_name":"Subscriber Rewards","url":"/subscriber-rewards/"},{"display_name":"Newsletters;Sign up to get the stories you want delivered to your inbox","url":"/newsletters/"},{"display_name":"Subscriber Tour;Explore the features of your subscription","url":"https://www.irishtimes.com/your-subscription/subscription-tour"},{"display_name":"Newspaper Archive;150 years of Irish Times journalism","url":"/archive/"},{"display_name":"Mobile app;Our Apple and Android apps to read on the go","url":"/apps/"}],"_id":"/"},"expires":1771475066840,"lastModified":1771474766810},"{\"feature\":\"footer\",\"hierarchy\":\"footer\"}":{"data":{"children":[{"_id":"/subscribe","children":[{"_id":"link-DGDAM5YPRN6XFDAP5JVDMNAVVC","display_name":"Why Subscribe?","node_type":"link","url":"/your-subscription/subscription-tour"},{"_id":"link-CM7751G0QH6MZDQGFJ2U872KJW","display_name":"Subscription Bundles","node_type":"link","url":"/subscribe"},{"_id":"link-19N4ERU1DD28K2VMDYXMJQ2UV8","display_name":"Subscriber Rewards","node_type":"link","url":"/subscriber-rewards/"},{"_id":"link-INNQ4KIFSFDWHLJIC7INQXWWGY","display_name":"Student Subscription","node_type":"link","url":"/subscribe/student/"},{"_id":"link-MFHX19ZTJ90JDAV1MZWFRRRCBR","display_name":"Subscription Help Centre","node_type":"link","url":"https://help.irishtimes.com/s/"},{"_id":"link-5YM8CZDMVH2CQ08T2B33MHANWR","display_name":"Home Delivery","node_type":"link","url":"http://www.newsdelivery.ie"},{"_id":"link-QUQFWNZ8197RQBK5CKWCM4T8HW","display_name":"Gift Subscriptions","node_type":"link","url":"/subscribe/gift"}],"name":"Subscribe","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/support","children":[{"_id":"link-G3XEUGHAGT79B4DJ5W73WNFQY0","display_name":"Contact Us","node_type":"link","url":"/about-us/contact-us"},{"_id":"link-C8T475KX5D1KDAW12U8Q12T5MC","display_name":"Help Centre","node_type":"link","url":"https://help.irishtimes.com/s/"},{"_id":"link-NV2UTHTYXX1EN982NWZ92BVPZW","display_name":"My Account","node_type":"link","url":"/myaccount"}],"name":"Support","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/about-us","children":[{"_id":"link-Z9KM76KCK1375DMR7HKZ3BAAYG","display_name":"Advertise","node_type":"link","url":"/about-us/advertise"},{"_id":"link-C0YP70N1BT3BTF13YZ3GQFFW5R","display_name":"Contact Us","node_type":"link","url":"/about-us/contact-us"},{"_id":"link-HPPYKQZRWN3T10Y4E0NXN002NC","display_name":"The Irish Times Trust","node_type":"link","url":"/about-us/the-irish-times-trust/"},{"_id":"link-YV5H3Y4TQH5AVE8N4AUH222RK4","display_name":"Careers","node_type":"link","url":"/about-us/career-opportunities"}],"name":"About Us","node_type":"section"},{"_id":"/product-and-services","children":[{"_id":"link-QR4AME90917AK29M6XVEJMX9N8","display_name":"ePaper","node_type":"link","url":"/epaper"},{"_id":"link-8XJ7X9GPZX2H11NJE3GWW45748","display_name":"Crosswords & puzzles","node_type":"link","url":"/crosswords-puzzles/"},{"_id":"link-B7ENRD4YCD77ZCV67531F5ZEP8","display_name":"Newspaper Archive","node_type":"link","url":"/archive"},{"_id":"link-7XMTETWQ05553ADVQ26YD2PN5M","display_name":"Newsletters","node_type":"link","url":"/newsletters"},{"_id":"link-QKK62NMCJT4751EU158MVUQ6J8","display_name":"Article Index","node_type":"link","url":"https://www.irishtimes.com/article-index/"},{"_id":"link-1YQEPDVX8X06D9BVQXQZ2U9GWM","display_name":"Discount Codes","node_type":"link","url":"https://discountcodes.irishtimes.com/"}],"name":"Irish Times Products & Services","node_type":"section"}],"_id":"/"},"expires":1771474995510,"lastModified":1771474695463},"{\"feature\":\"footer\",\"hierarchy\":\"our-partners\"}":{"data":{"children":[{"_id":"link-RZ2ANKYPEH3D10YNR9JVH7VNMC","display_name":"MyHome.ie","node_type":"link","url":"https://www.myhome.ie"},{"_id":"link-B11GV8GN694GF8VF4DABJK72P4","display_name":"The Gloss","node_type":"link","url":"https://www.thegloss.ie"},{"_id":"link-TW1E9G03UX64TE4GX1KT8AC2U8","display_name":"Recruit Ireland","node_type":"link","url":"https://recruitireland.com/"},{"_id":"link-LTCTRPJE2FGBLF7UZ2SSX7NBME","display_name":"RIP.ie","node_type":"link","url":"https://rip.ie/"}],"_id":"/"},"expires":1771475130001,"lastModified":1771474829968}},"alert-bar-collections":{"{\"from\":0,\"site\":\"irishtimes\",\"size\":1}":{"data":{"_id":"DL4WZLD3QVA55FOFBOQ3ZET6TY","version":"0.10.6","created_date":"2022-02-02T13:23:38.460Z","headlines":{"basic":"Breaking News Alert"},"last_updated_date":"2026-02-17T13:58:12.988Z","type":"collection","canonical_website":"irishtimes","websites":{"irishtimes":{}},"content_elements":[],"description":{"basic":"This collection powers the Alert Bar block on the website"},"content_aliases":["alert-bar"],"owner":{"id":"irishtimes"},"revision":{"branch":"default","published":true},"canonical_url":null,"publishing":{"scheduled_operations":{"publish_edition":[],"unpublish_edition":[]}},"website":"irishtimes"},"expires":1771474922718,"lastModified":1771474802678}},"content-api-collections-it":{"{\"content_alias\":\"roe-mcdermott\",\"feature\":\"read-more\",\"size\":5}":{"data":{"_id":"UIIMWHAEQNEUHEVQEO3LW2DKOA","version":"0.10.6","created_date":"2022-10-05T11:35:10.812Z","headlines":{"basic":"Links Roe McDermott Manual alias=roe-mcdermott"},"last_updated_date":"2025-02-14T16:07:39.150Z","type":"collection","canonical_website":"irishtimes","content_elements":[{"additional_properties":{"audio_duration":483,"audio_url":"https://beyondwords-cdn-b7fyckdeejejb6dj.a03.azurefd.net/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/f42f528b-b573-4e07-9777-46dc21d95308/versions/1737643191/media/b4bdbc8e86f35ca7e1c25c4a6ccf7165_compiled.mp3","has_published_copy":true,"is_published":true,"publish_date":"2025-02-02T05:00:00Z"},"content_elements":[],"planning":{"budget_line":"\"My ex treated me not so nicely and would belittle me,\" writes a reader to our Ask Roe column. \"Although I know he wasn’t great, I still miss him and occasionally stalk his social media account. I find it hard to fancy someone now because of this situation. I’m not sure how to get over it and move on positively.\"","scheduling":{"planned_publish_date":"2025-02-02T05:00:00.000Z","will_have_image":true},"story_length":{"character_count_actual":7608,"inch_count_actual":0,"line_count_actual":45,"word_count_actual":1288}},"related_content":{"basic":[{"_id":"PKWVUWNCNNDJZLSUEBXJTTOZCY","referent":{"id":"PKWVUWNCNNDJZLSUEBXJTTOZCY","provider":"","referent_properties":{},"type":"image"},"type":"reference"}],"redirect":[]},"_id":"KGSGVVQNPZD5FD7VNFIULUINEM","canonical_website":"irishtimes","content_restrictions":{"content_code":"premium"},"copyright":"","credits":{"by":[{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","type":"author","version":"0.5.8","name":"Roe McDermott","image":{"url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","version":"0.5.8","type":"image","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}},"description":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","url":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","slug":"roe-mcdermott","social_links":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com"},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott"}],"socialLinks":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."}],"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","firstName":"Roe","lastName":"McDermott","byline":"Roe McDermott","image":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","email":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","affiliations":"","author_type":"Contributor","education":[],"awards":[],"books":[],"podcasts":[],"twitter":"roemcdermott","bio_page":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","bio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","longBio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships. A writer and Fulbright scholar with an MA in sexuality studies from San Francisco State University, she is researching a PhD in gendered and sexual citizenship at the Open University and Oxford","slug":"roe-mcdermott","native_app_rendering":false,"fuzzy_match":false,"contributor":false,"status":true,"type":"author","last_updated_date":"2022-06-08T18:10:47.931Z","role":"Contributor","ansImage":{"type":"image","url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}}}}}]},"description":{"basic":"Ask Roe: I know he wasn’t great, but I still miss him and occasionally stalk his social media account"},"display_date":"2025-02-02T05:00:00Z","distributor":{"category":"staff","mode":"custom","name":"irishtimes","subcategory":""},"headlines":{"basic":"I ended my situationship six months ago but I’m still not over him. How do I move on?","meta_title":"","mobile":"","native":"","print":"","tablet":"","web":""},"label":{"audio_project_id":{"display":true,"text":"8948","url":""},"related_collection":{"display":true,"text":"roe-mcdermott"}},"language":"","owner":{"sponsored":false},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"PKWVUWNCNNDJZLSUEBXJTTOZCY","additional_properties":{"countryId":226,"fullSizeResizeUrl":"/resizer/5eo3o-h7l60DgQ_lo8V_Hwmuk5Y=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/PKWVUWNCNNDJZLSUEBXJTTOZCY.jpg","galleries":[],"ingestionMethod":"manual","iptc_job_identifier":"775459011","iptc_source":"Moment RF","iptc_title":"Contributor","mime_type":"image/jpeg","originalName":"GettyImages-1318662569.jpg","originalUrl":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/PKWVUWNCNNDJZLSUEBXJTTOZCY.jpg","owner":"nadine.oregan@irishtimes.com","proxyUrl":"/resizer/5eo3o-h7l60DgQ_lo8V_Hwmuk5Y=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/PKWVUWNCNNDJZLSUEBXJTTOZCY.jpg","published":true,"resizeUrl":"/resizer/5eo3o-h7l60DgQ_lo8V_Hwmuk5Y=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/PKWVUWNCNNDJZLSUEBXJTTOZCY.jpg","restricted":false,"takenOn":"2021-05-15T00:00:00Z","thumbnailResizeUrl":"/resizer/VPuqOH8ATs_9-_yM2YPJ09liyF4=/300x0/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/PKWVUWNCNNDJZLSUEBXJTTOZCY.jpg","usage_instructions":"Model Released (MR) ","version":0,"template_id":314},"address":{"country_name":"GBR"},"auth":{"1":"686164ec55df8bd6ad0db6c89b47dc19e01492e17a4998731b2ff7e3748316fe"},"caption":"I feel like I’ll never find a genuine partner. Photograph: Catherine Falls/Getty Images","created_date":"2025-01-23T13:34:31Z","credits":{"affiliation":[{"name":"Getty Images","type":"author"}],"by":[{"byline":"Catherine Falls Commercial","name":"Catherine Falls Commercial","type":"author"}]},"distributor":{"category":"wires","mode":"custom","name":"Agency Photos "},"height":5034,"image_type":"photograph","last_updated_date":"2025-01-23T13:34:31Z","licensable":false,"owner":{"id":"irishtimes","sponsored":false},"slug":"1318662569","source":{"name":"Agency Photos ","source_type":"wires","additional_properties":{"editor":"photo center"},"edit_url":"","system":"photo center"},"subtitle":"A perplexed woman checks her smart phone","taxonomy":{"associated_tasks":[]},"type":"image","url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/PKWVUWNCNNDJZLSUEBXJTTOZCY.jpg","version":"0.10.9","width":7699,"syndication":{},"creditIPTC":"Getty Images","country_name":"United Kingdom"}},"publish_date":"2025-02-02T12:59:26.089Z","revision":{"published":true,"revision_id":"35ONCFZM65ATHOQRQIPNBT7OKA"},"subheadlines":{"basic":"Ask Roe: I know he wasn’t great, but I still miss him and occasionally stalk his social media account"},"subtype":"columnist","taxonomy":{"primary_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},"primary_site":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},"sections":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},{"_id":"/health","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","parent":{"default":"/"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"The latest Health news, analysis and comment brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | The Irish Times"},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Health","order":{"default":1009,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1016,"App-Hamburger":1016,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1012,"sitemap-section":1009},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"ancestors":{"default":[],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":[],"section-page-subnavs":["/"],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":[],"links-bar":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health"}],"sites":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},{"_id":"/health","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"The latest Health news, analysis and comment brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | The Irish Times"},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Health","order":{"default":1009,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1016,"App-Hamburger":1016,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1012,"sitemap-section":1009},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"ancestors":{"default":[],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":[],"section-page-subnavs":["/"],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":[],"links-bar":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}}],"tags":[{"description":"Magazine","slug":"magazine","text":"Magazine"},{"description":"A selection of the best human interest reporting, interviews, opinion and lifestyle features. ","slug":"for-you","text":"For You"}]},"type":"story","version":"0.10.10","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},"website_url":"/health/your-wellness/2025/02/02/i-ended-my-situationship-six-months-ago-but-im-still-not-over-him-how-do-i-move-on/"}},"canonical_url":"/health/your-wellness/2025/02/02/i-ended-my-situationship-six-months-ago-but-im-still-not-over-him-how-do-i-move-on/"},{"additional_properties":{"audio_duration":471,"audio_url":"https://d22tbkdovk5ea2.cloudfront.net/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/784e4ad8-609e-4b23-9ac6-7b54b5bce3b7/versions/1720711224/media/4a693b3fdd2aa6157bd5bcb06012c211_compiled.mp3","has_published_copy":true,"is_published":true,"publish_date":"2024-07-21T10:49:00.358Z"},"content_elements":[],"planning":{"budget_line":"\"As a couple in our sixties, fantasy plays a big role in our satisfaction and we would like to have access to porn that is erotic and legal.\"","scheduling":{"planned_publish_date":"2024-07-21T04:00:00+00:00","will_have_image":true},"story_length":{"character_count_actual":7386,"line_count_actual":46,"word_count_actual":1266}},"related_content":{"basic":[{"_id":"YZNSUBNZ45DE3BU6WYR3CX4SWY","referent":{"id":"YZNSUBNZ45DE3BU6WYR3CX4SWY","provider":"","referent_properties":{},"type":"image"},"type":"reference"}],"redirect":[]},"_id":"YK5K4X5YNBETZISLTDMDSJUY2Y","canonical_website":"irishtimes","content_restrictions":{"content_code":"premium"},"copyright":"","credits":{"by":[{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","type":"author","version":"0.5.8","name":"Roe McDermott","image":{"url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","version":"0.5.8","type":"image","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}},"description":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","url":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","slug":"roe-mcdermott","social_links":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com"},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott"}],"socialLinks":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."}],"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","firstName":"Roe","lastName":"McDermott","byline":"Roe McDermott","image":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","email":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","affiliations":"","author_type":"Contributor","education":[],"awards":[],"books":[],"podcasts":[],"twitter":"roemcdermott","bio_page":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","bio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","longBio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships. A writer and Fulbright scholar with an MA in sexuality studies from San Francisco State University, she is researching a PhD in gendered and sexual citizenship at the Open University and Oxford","slug":"roe-mcdermott","native_app_rendering":false,"fuzzy_match":false,"contributor":false,"status":true,"type":"author","last_updated_date":"2022-06-08T18:10:47.931Z","role":"Contributor","ansImage":{"type":"image","url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}}}}}]},"description":{"basic":"Ask Roe: we both feel that we need some more help with arousal, but we are afraid to access porn in case the guards end up at our door"},"display_date":"2024-07-21T04:00:00Z","distributor":{"category":"staff","name":"irishtimes","subcategory":""},"headlines":{"basic":"Where can my wife and I access porn that is both legal and erotic?","meta_title":"","mobile":"","native":"","print":"","tablet":"","web":""},"label":{"audio_project_id":{"display":true,"text":"8948","url":""},"related_collection":{"display":true,"text":"roe-mcdermott"}},"language":"","owner":{"sponsored":false},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"YZNSUBNZ45DE3BU6WYR3CX4SWY","additional_properties":{"fullSizeResizeUrl":"/resizer/S5g0MBhWmRXr9fc5yubOerqW2pc=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/YZNSUBNZ45DE3BU6WYR3CX4SWY.jpg","galleries":[],"ingestionMethod":"manual","iptc_source":"Digital Vision","iptc_title":"Contributor","keywords":["45-49 years","55-59 years","arm around","at home","bed","bedroom","camber sands","caucasian white","comfortable","contented","couple","day","easy retouch","embracing","focus on foreground","holding hands","horizontal","indoors","intimacy","love","lying down","mature couple","mature men","mature women","relaxation","rye","togetherness","two people","uk"],"mime_type":"image/jpeg","originalName":"GettyImages-sb10068561ag-002.jpg","originalUrl":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/YZNSUBNZ45DE3BU6WYR3CX4SWY.jpg","owner":"nadine.oregan@irishtimes.com","proxyUrl":"/resizer/S5g0MBhWmRXr9fc5yubOerqW2pc=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/YZNSUBNZ45DE3BU6WYR3CX4SWY.jpg","published":true,"resizeUrl":"/resizer/S5g0MBhWmRXr9fc5yubOerqW2pc=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/YZNSUBNZ45DE3BU6WYR3CX4SWY.jpg","restricted":false,"takenOn":"2008-04-22T00:00:00Z","thumbnailResizeUrl":"/resizer/jlIe7nROS6wmbj6303nYKNIbOjA=/300x0/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/YZNSUBNZ45DE3BU6WYR3CX4SWY.jpg","usage_instructions":"Model Released (MR) ","version":0,"template_id":314,"focal_point":{"max":[1980,1490],"min":[1980,1490]}},"address":{},"auth":{"1":"1e3207fecaf3f347ae05ceda4497fbe6aab65f7700dc78a6dd03e5a6e830161e"},"caption":"'At this stage of our lives we prefer ‘manual’ sex and fantasy and imagination plays a big role in our satisfaction'","created_date":"2024-07-10T15:12:24Z","credits":{"affiliation":[{"name":"Getty Images","type":"author"}],"by":[{"byline":"Solskin","name":"Solskin","type":"author"}]},"distributor":{"category":"wires","mode":"custom","name":"Agency Photos "},"height":3328,"image_type":"photograph","last_updated_date":"2024-07-10T15:12:24Z","licensable":false,"owner":{"id":"irishtimes","sponsored":false},"slug":"sb10068561ag-002","source":{"name":"Agency Photos ","source_type":"wires","additional_properties":{"editor":"photo center"},"edit_url":"","system":"photo center"},"subtitle":"Mature couple embracing in bed","taxonomy":{"associated_tasks":[]},"type":"image","url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/YZNSUBNZ45DE3BU6WYR3CX4SWY.jpg","version":"0.10.9","width":4992,"syndication":{},"creditIPTC":"Getty Images","focal_point":{"x":1980,"y":1490}}},"publish_date":"2024-07-21T14:12:54.619Z","revision":{"published":true,"revision_id":"665ZOEAVZFBJXLBDLJCR7K6DUQ"},"subheadlines":{"basic":"Ask Roe: we both feel that we need some more help with arousal, but we are afraid to access porn in case the guards end up at our door"},"subtype":"columnist","taxonomy":{"primary_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},"primary_site":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},"sections":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},{"_id":"/health","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","parent":{"default":"/"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"The latest Health news, analysis and comment brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | The Irish Times"},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Health","order":{"default":1009,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1014,"App-Hamburger":1014,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1011,"sitemap-section":1009},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"ancestors":{"default":[],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":[],"section-page-subnavs":[],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":[],"links-bar":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health"}],"sites":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},{"_id":"/health","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"The latest Health news, analysis and comment brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | The Irish Times"},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Health","order":{"default":1009,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1014,"App-Hamburger":1014,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1011,"sitemap-section":1009},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"ancestors":{"default":[],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":[],"section-page-subnavs":[],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":[],"links-bar":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}}],"tags":[{"description":"Magazine","slug":"magazine","text":"Magazine"},{"description":"A selection of the best human interest reporting, interviews, opinion and lifestyle features. ","slug":"for-you","text":"For You"}]},"type":"story","version":"0.10.10","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},"website_url":"/health/your-wellness/2024/07/21/my-wife-and-i-want-to-explore-erotica-where-do-we-start/"}},"canonical_url":"/health/your-wellness/2024/07/21/my-wife-and-i-want-to-explore-erotica-where-do-we-start/"},{"additional_properties":{"audio_duration":437,"audio_url":"https://d22tbkdovk5ea2.cloudfront.net/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/236cae4c-37c0-43dd-8eaa-1befd830709d/versions/1718202093/media/6755307b653684d31bb49c3c355d0f4f_compiled.mp3","has_published_copy":true,"is_published":true,"publish_date":"2024-07-04T09:52:27.39Z"},"content_elements":[],"planning":{"scheduling":{"planned_publish_date":"2024-06-23T04:00:00+00:00","will_have_image":true},"story_length":{"character_count_actual":6860,"line_count_actual":44,"word_count_actual":1265}},"related_content":{"basic":[{"_id":"WFIV2SDP6VDYPILUPDLGKTNQG4","referent":{"id":"WFIV2SDP6VDYPILUPDLGKTNQG4","provider":"","referent_properties":{},"type":"image"},"type":"reference"}],"redirect":[]},"_id":"JAIVOATWBZDS7N7Z4GW7EDF36Y","canonical_website":"irishtimes","content_restrictions":{"content_code":"premium"},"copyright":"","credits":{"by":[{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","type":"author","version":"0.5.8","name":"Roe McDermott","image":{"url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","version":"0.5.8","type":"image","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}},"description":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","url":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","slug":"roe-mcdermott","social_links":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com"},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott"}],"socialLinks":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."}],"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","firstName":"Roe","lastName":"McDermott","byline":"Roe McDermott","image":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","email":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","affiliations":"","author_type":"Contributor","education":[],"awards":[],"books":[],"podcasts":[],"twitter":"roemcdermott","bio_page":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","bio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","longBio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships. A writer and Fulbright scholar with an MA in sexuality studies from San Francisco State University, she is researching a PhD in gendered and sexual citizenship at the Open University and Oxford","slug":"roe-mcdermott","native_app_rendering":false,"fuzzy_match":false,"contributor":false,"status":true,"type":"author","last_updated_date":"2022-06-08T18:10:47.931Z","role":"Contributor","ansImage":{"type":"image","url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}}}}}]},"description":{"basic":"Ask Roe: I think we could be great together but he’s flaky and can go radio silent for days"},"display_date":"2024-06-23T04:00:00Z","distributor":{"category":"staff","name":"irishtimes","subcategory":""},"headlines":{"basic":"I think I’m in love with my ‘situationship’ but he doesn’t feel the same","meta_title":"‘Situationships’: I think I’m in love but we only ever hang out in group situations or to have sex","mobile":"","native":"","print":"","tablet":"","web":"‘Situationships’: I think I’m in love but we only ever hang out in group situations or to have sex"},"label":{"audio_project_id":{"display":true,"text":"8948","url":""},"related_collection":{"display":true,"text":"roe-mcdermott"}},"language":"","owner":{"sponsored":false},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"WFIV2SDP6VDYPILUPDLGKTNQG4","additional_properties":{"fullSizeResizeUrl":"/resizer/G_F7iSHlvjLK-otin2-eG2dSTu0=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/WFIV2SDP6VDYPILUPDLGKTNQG4.jpg","galleries":[],"ingestionMethod":"manual","iptc_source":"Brand X","iptc_title":"Contributor","keywords":["25-29 years","30-34 years","adults only","blond hair","casual clothing","caucasian appearance","coat","color image","day","flirting","front view","hands in pockets","horizontal","looking away","men","mid adult","mid adult women","motion","on the move","outdoors","photography","rear view","south africa","street","three-quarter length","two people","waist-up","walking","women","young adult","young men"],"mime_type":"image/jpeg","originalName":"GettyImages-177263400.jpg","originalUrl":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/WFIV2SDP6VDYPILUPDLGKTNQG4.jpg","owner":"nadine.oregan@irishtimes.com","proxyUrl":"/resizer/G_F7iSHlvjLK-otin2-eG2dSTu0=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/WFIV2SDP6VDYPILUPDLGKTNQG4.jpg","published":true,"resizeUrl":"/resizer/G_F7iSHlvjLK-otin2-eG2dSTu0=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/WFIV2SDP6VDYPILUPDLGKTNQG4.jpg","restricted":false,"takenOn":"2013-02-07T00:00:00Z","thumbnailResizeUrl":"/resizer/XZfh7iXisBGStpKruXWMGA08qdM=/300x0/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/WFIV2SDP6VDYPILUPDLGKTNQG4.jpg","usage_instructions":"Model and Property Released (MR&PR) ","version":0,"template_id":314,"focal_point":{"max":[4470,1710],"min":[4470,1710]}},"address":{},"auth":{"1":"d0e96591baa110d0102a4349c5a9dc2592cc5ec1845c8d2630d80d89c3f488e7"},"caption":"When one person doles out rewards like affection and attention sporadically and unpredictably, we become obsessed with trying to get more","created_date":"2024-06-12T13:05:32Z","credits":{"affiliation":[{"name":"Getty Images","type":"author"}],"by":[{"byline":"ONOKY - Fabrice LEROUGE","name":"ONOKY - Fabrice LEROUGE","type":"author"}]},"distributor":{"category":"wires","mode":"custom","name":"Agency Photos "},"height":4099,"image_type":"photograph","last_updated_date":"2024-06-12T13:05:32Z","licensable":false,"owner":{"id":"irishtimes","sponsored":false},"slug":"177263400","source":{"name":"Agency Photos ","source_type":"wires","additional_properties":{"editor":"photo center"},"edit_url":"","system":"photo center"},"subtitle":"Man and woman walking on a street","taxonomy":{"associated_tasks":[]},"type":"image","url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/WFIV2SDP6VDYPILUPDLGKTNQG4.jpg","version":"0.10.9","width":6148,"syndication":{},"creditIPTC":"Getty Images"}},"publish_date":"2024-07-04T09:52:35.199Z","revision":{"published":true,"revision_id":"QG2KXQII4RCFDGALKFRB6LIS5U"},"subheadlines":{"basic":"Ask Roe: I think we could be great together but he’s flaky and can go radio silent for days"},"subtype":"columnist","taxonomy":{"primary_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},"primary_site":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},"sections":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},{"_id":"/health","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","parent":{"default":"/"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"The latest Health news, analysis and comment brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | The Irish Times"},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Health","order":{"default":1009,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1014,"App-Hamburger":1014,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1011,"sitemap-section":1009},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"ancestors":{"default":[],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":[],"section-page-subnavs":[],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":[],"links-bar":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health"}],"sites":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},{"_id":"/health","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"The latest Health news, analysis and comment brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | The Irish Times"},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Health","order":{"default":1009,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1014,"App-Hamburger":1014,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1011,"sitemap-section":1009},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"ancestors":{"default":[],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":[],"section-page-subnavs":[],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":[],"links-bar":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}}],"tags":[{"description":"Magazine","slug":"magazine","text":"Magazine"}]},"type":"story","version":"0.10.10","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},"website_url":"/health/your-wellness/2024/07/04/situationships-i-think-im-in-love-but-we-only-ever-hang-out-in-group-situations-or-to-have-sex/"}},"canonical_url":"/health/your-wellness/2024/07/04/situationships-i-think-im-in-love-but-we-only-ever-hang-out-in-group-situations-or-to-have-sex/"},{"additional_properties":{"audio_duration":468,"audio_url":"https://beyondwords-cdn-b7fyckdeejejb6dj.a03.azurefd.net/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/15047fee-fed7-4c71-99e1-6bb4c827a02e/versions/1738845102/media/bf01339848082101c19877dd552b2172_compiled.mp3","has_published_copy":true,"is_published":true,"publish_date":"2025-02-16T17:13:11.565Z"},"content_elements":[],"planning":{"budget_line":"\"My husband and I are married 25 years. Our relationship has been through tough times and is very rocky. From my perspective, it hangs by a thread. Unfortunately, my husband’s brother, who is recently separated, has asked to live with us for a few months until he gets settled. He’s retired, as is my husband. I work ...\" A reader asks Roe McDermott for advice on a family situation","scheduling":{"planned_publish_date":"2025-02-16T05:00:00.000Z","will_have_image":true},"story_length":{"character_count_actual":7347,"inch_count_actual":0,"line_count_actual":46,"word_count_actual":1309}},"related_content":{"basic":[],"redirect":[]},"_id":"YLEYP5AUUBGULCJHVJEBPPRAAI","canonical_website":"irishtimes","content_restrictions":{"content_code":"premium"},"copyright":"","credits":{"by":[{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","type":"author","version":"0.5.8","name":"Roe McDermott","image":{"url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","version":"0.5.8","type":"image","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}},"description":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","url":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","slug":"roe-mcdermott","social_links":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com"},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott"}],"socialLinks":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."}],"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","firstName":"Roe","lastName":"McDermott","byline":"Roe McDermott","image":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","email":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","affiliations":"","author_type":"Contributor","education":[],"awards":[],"books":[],"podcasts":[],"twitter":"roemcdermott","bio_page":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","bio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","longBio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships. A writer and Fulbright scholar with an MA in sexuality studies from San Francisco State University, she is researching a PhD in gendered and sexual citizenship at the Open University and Oxford","slug":"roe-mcdermott","native_app_rendering":false,"fuzzy_match":false,"contributor":false,"status":true,"type":"author","last_updated_date":"2022-06-08T18:10:47.931Z","role":"Contributor","ansImage":{"type":"image","url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}}}}}]},"description":{"basic":"Ask Roe: I want to offer support but not at the cost of our relationship or my sanity"},"display_date":"2025-02-16T05:00:00Z","distributor":{"category":"staff","mode":"custom","name":"irishtimes","subcategory":""},"headlines":{"basic":"‘My brother-in-law wants to move in with us but I don’t think my marriage will survive it’","meta_title":"","mobile":"","native":"","print":"","tablet":"","web":""},"label":{"audio_project_id":{"display":true,"text":"8948","url":""},"editors_choice":{"display":true,"text":"Yes","url":""},"related_collection":{"display":true,"text":"roe-mcdermott"}},"language":"","owner":{"sponsored":false},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"GHLG7MYUQBHXHPBYUUO4ETAFPQ","additional_properties":{"countryId":198,"fullSizeResizeUrl":"/resizer/v2/GHLG7MYUQBHXHPBYUUO4ETAFPQ.jpg?auth=05709137505a44992f830380103c5611b2ac4d6c38e399ece61eee5eeb1e0adc","galleries":[],"ingestionMethod":"manual","iptc_source":"iStockphoto","iptc_title":"Contributor","mime_type":"image/jpeg","originalName":"iStock-1443804347.jpg","originalUrl":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/GHLG7MYUQBHXHPBYUUO4ETAFPQ.jpg","owner":"cmurray@irishtimes.com","proxyUrl":"/resizer/v2/GHLG7MYUQBHXHPBYUUO4ETAFPQ.jpg?auth=05709137505a44992f830380103c5611b2ac4d6c38e399ece61eee5eeb1e0adc","published":true,"resizeUrl":"/resizer/v2/GHLG7MYUQBHXHPBYUUO4ETAFPQ.jpg?auth=05709137505a44992f830380103c5611b2ac4d6c38e399ece61eee5eeb1e0adc","restricted":false,"takenOn":"2022-03-08T00:00:00Z","thumbnailResizeUrl":"/resizer/v2/GHLG7MYUQBHXHPBYUUO4ETAFPQ.jpg?auth=05709137505a44992f830380103c5611b2ac4d6c38e399ece61eee5eeb1e0adc&width=300","usage_instructions":"Model and Property Released (MR&PR) ","version":0,"template_id":283},"address":{"country_name":"ZAF"},"auth":{"1":"05709137505a44992f830380103c5611b2ac4d6c38e399ece61eee5eeb1e0adc"},"caption":"'My husband has difficulty saying no as he doesn’t want to offend anyone.' Photograph: iStock","created_date":"2025-02-06T12:22:58Z","credits":{"affiliation":[{"name":"Getty Images/iStockphoto","type":"author"}],"by":[{"byline":"PeopleImages","name":"PeopleImages","type":"author"}]},"distributor":{"category":"stock","mode":"custom","name":"Agency Stock"},"height":1427,"image_type":"photograph","last_updated_date":"2025-02-06T12:22:58Z","licensable":false,"owner":{"id":"irishtimes","sponsored":false},"slug":"1443804347","source":{"name":"Agency Stock","source_type":"stock","additional_properties":{"editor":"photo center"},"edit_url":"","system":"photo center"},"subtitle":"Mature couple fight, divorce and conflict problem in conversation with anger, blame and stress at home. Angry woman, frustrated man and senior partners breakup argument about cheating marriage affair","taxonomy":{"associated_tasks":[]},"type":"image","url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/GHLG7MYUQBHXHPBYUUO4ETAFPQ.jpg","version":"0.10.9","width":2100,"syndication":{},"creditIPTC":"Getty Images/iStockphoto","country_name":"South Africa"}},"publish_date":"2025-12-08T11:29:56.173Z","revision":{"published":true,"revision_id":"RZMOWTQEZ5B5BLFHGTQV57PNVY"},"subheadlines":{"basic":"Ask Roe: ‘I want to offer support but not at the cost of our relationship or my sanity’"},"subtype":"columnist","taxonomy":{"primary_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","inactive":false,"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"Stay up-to-date with the latest insights on personal health, well-being, self-care, and everyday wellness, featuring expert advice and lived experience. Brought to you by Ireland’s quality news brand, The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Your Wellness Features | Personal Health, Advice & WellBeing | The Irish Times"},"navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},"primary_site":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","name":"Your Wellness","inactive":false,"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"Stay up-to-date with the latest insights on personal health, well-being, self-care, and everyday wellness, featuring expert advice and lived experience. Brought to you by Ireland’s quality news brand, The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Your Wellness Features | Personal Health, Advice & WellBeing | The Irish Times"},"navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"}}}},"sections":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","inactive":false,"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"Stay up-to-date with the latest insights on personal health, well-being, self-care, and everyday wellness, featuring expert advice and lived experience. Brought to you by Ireland’s quality news brand, The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Your Wellness Features | Personal Health, Advice & WellBeing | The Irish Times"},"navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},{"_id":"/health","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","parent":{"default":"/"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","_website":"irishtimes","name":"Health","inactive":false,"ancestors":{"default":["/"],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/"],"section-page-subnavs":["/"],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":["/"],"links-bar":[]},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"order":{"default":1008,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1015,"App-Hamburger":1015,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1011,"sitemap-section":1009},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"Stay up‑to‑date with the latest health news, expert analysis and medical policy developments, covering Irish healthcare, public health research and wellness topics. Brought to you by Ireland’s quality news brand, The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | Latest Health News, Medical Analysis & Policy Insight | The Irish Times"},"navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health"}],"sites":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","name":"Your Wellness","inactive":false,"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"Stay up-to-date with the latest insights on personal health, well-being, self-care, and everyday wellness, featuring expert advice and lived experience. Brought to you by Ireland’s quality news brand, The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Your Wellness Features | Personal Health, Advice & WellBeing | The Irish Times"},"navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"}}}},{"_id":"/health","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","name":"Health","inactive":false,"ancestors":{"default":["/"],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/"],"section-page-subnavs":["/"],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":["/"],"links-bar":[]},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"order":{"default":1008,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1015,"App-Hamburger":1015,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1011,"sitemap-section":1009},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"Stay up‑to‑date with the latest health news, expert analysis and medical policy developments, covering Irish healthcare, public health research and wellness topics. Brought to you by Ireland’s quality news brand, The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | Latest Health News, Medical Analysis & Policy Insight | The Irish Times"},"navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"node_type":"section"}}}],"tags":[{"_id":"OLZ3BRUWARGNJMDQEB7XZR5LOI","description":"Magazine","slug":"magazine","text":"Magazine"},{"_id":"UEQQ2MLEQBFJZBCJY2CYAXG5XY","description":"Advice","slug":"advice","text":"Advice"},{"_id":"OQGD4BUEQZCWJDCP6YECUAYSMA","description":"A selection of the best human interest reporting, interviews, opinion and lifestyle features. ","slug":"for-you","text":"For You"},{"_id":"OC2P7FGWT5FFLBIHVDSKJEBUXQ","description":"A selection of some of the best reads and popular articles from the year","slug":"top-stories-of-the-year","text":"Top Stories of the Year"}]},"type":"story","version":"0.10.11","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","inactive":false,"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"Stay up-to-date with the latest insights on personal health, well-being, self-care, and everyday wellness, featuring expert advice and lived experience. Brought to you by Ireland’s quality news brand, The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Your Wellness Features | Personal Health, Advice & WellBeing | The Irish Times"},"navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},"website_url":"/health/your-wellness/2025/02/16/my-brother-in-law-wants-to-move-in-with-us-but-i-dont-think-my-marriage-will-survive-it/"}},"canonical_url":"/health/your-wellness/2025/02/16/my-brother-in-law-wants-to-move-in-with-us-but-i-dont-think-my-marriage-will-survive-it/"},{"additional_properties":{"audio_duration":471,"audio_url":"https://d22tbkdovk5ea2.cloudfront.net/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/11128076/media/01439424c8b5079e4e1b7cba3c71eeb1_compiled.mp3","has_published_copy":true,"is_published":true,"publish_date":"2024-03-31T12:41:32.018Z"},"content_elements":[],"planning":{"budget_line":"Ask Roe: My partner hates his job and complains about it endlessly. I'm finding it really difficult to manage this aspect of our lives together.","scheduling":{"planned_publish_date":"2024-03-29T05:00:00.000Z","will_have_image":true},"story_length":{"character_count_actual":7314,"line_count_actual":48,"word_count_actual":1301}},"related_content":{"basic":[{"_id":"OOHV233RJNCOTLKVQ6YUYWLEOM","referent":{"id":"OOHV233RJNCOTLKVQ6YUYWLEOM","provider":"","referent_properties":{},"type":"image"},"type":"reference"}],"redirect":[]},"_id":"SCYONN3A75CQJMOMFOXEF3MS6M","canonical_website":"irishtimes","content_restrictions":{"content_code":"premium"},"copyright":"","credits":{"by":[{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","type":"author","version":"0.5.8","name":"Roe McDermott","image":{"url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","version":"0.5.8","type":"image","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}},"description":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","url":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","slug":"roe-mcdermott","social_links":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com"},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott"}],"socialLinks":[{"site":"email","url":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."},{"site":"twitter","url":"roemcdermott","deprecated":true,"deprecation_msg":"Please use social_links."}],"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"roe-mcdermott","firstName":"Roe","lastName":"McDermott","byline":"Roe McDermott","image":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","email":"dearroe@irishtimes.com","affiliations":"","author_type":"Contributor","education":[],"awards":[],"books":[],"podcasts":[],"twitter":"roemcdermott","bio_page":"/author/roe-mcdermott/","bio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships","longBio":"Roe McDermott, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes a weekly column in the Magazine answering readers' queries about sex and relationships. A writer and Fulbright scholar with an MA in sexuality studies from San Francisco State University, she is researching a PhD in gendered and sexual citizenship at the Open University and Oxford","slug":"roe-mcdermott","native_app_rendering":false,"fuzzy_match":false,"contributor":false,"status":true,"type":"author","last_updated_date":"2022-06-08T18:10:47.931Z","role":"Contributor","ansImage":{"type":"image","url":"https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/irishtimes/88943a35-1ec5-4362-bf9b-08c97d02e367.png","auth":{"1":"96faae5b45618447c186fdec0935e62a21d3ebe6c970ca161e47d665b1b9d521"}}}}}]},"description":{"basic":"Ask Roe: I’ve tried giving advice and I hate seeing him unhappy, but lately I’ve been dreading going home. What can I do to improve my situation?"},"display_date":"2024-03-31T04:00:00Z","distributor":{"category":"staff","name":"irishtimes","subcategory":""},"headlines":{"basic":"‘My partner hates his job – but his endless complaining is making me miserable’","meta_title":"","mobile":"Ask Roe: My partner hates his job – but his endless complaining is making me miserable","native":"","print":"","tablet":"","web":""},"label":{"audio_project_id":{"display":true,"text":"8948","url":""},"related_collection":{"display":true,"text":"roe-mcdermott"}},"language":"","owner":{"sponsored":false},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"OOHV233RJNCOTLKVQ6YUYWLEOM","additional_properties":{"countryId":179,"fullSizeResizeUrl":"/resizer/YcwRbLFTQW-5eBWrlcjp8iZxefI=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/OOHV233RJNCOTLKVQ6YUYWLEOM.jpg","galleries":[],"ingestionMethod":"manual","iptc_source":"Moment RF","iptc_title":"Contributor","keywords":[""],"mime_type":"image/jpeg","originalName":"GettyImages-1225832080.jpg","originalUrl":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/OOHV233RJNCOTLKVQ6YUYWLEOM.jpg","owner":"nadine.oregan@irishtimes.com","proxyUrl":"/resizer/YcwRbLFTQW-5eBWrlcjp8iZxefI=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/OOHV233RJNCOTLKVQ6YUYWLEOM.jpg","published":true,"resizeUrl":"/resizer/YcwRbLFTQW-5eBWrlcjp8iZxefI=/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/OOHV233RJNCOTLKVQ6YUYWLEOM.jpg","restricted":false,"takenOn":"2017-06-01T00:00:00Z","thumbnailResizeUrl":"/resizer/znsP3o6Fc_aq4YuCIQliH3V7mgE=/300x0/arc-photo-irishtimes/eu-central-1-prod/public/OOHV233RJNCOTLKVQ6YUYWLEOM.jpg","usage_instructions":"Model Released (MR) ","version":0,"template_id":314},"address":{"country_name":"RUS"},"auth":{"1":"e8da4c22aeb1b6dabc0c9e4080dcdfacbfb95368b718556b716c45030dbfcde8"},"caption":"'I’ve started avoiding subjects that could lead to a discussion about work, including discussing my own sense of fulfilment in my job.' Photograph: iStock","created_date":"2024-03-20T12:08:40Z","credits":{"affiliation":[{"name":"Getty Images","type":"author"}],"by":[{"byline":"ShotPrime","name":"ShotPrime","type":"author"}]},"distributor":{"category":"wires","mode":"custom","name":"Agency Photos "},"height":4000,"image_type":"photograph","last_updated_date":"2024-03-20T12:08:40Z","licensable":false,"owner":{"id":"irishtimes","sponsored":false},"slug":"1225832080","source":{"name":"Agency Photos ","source_type":"wires","additional_properties":{"editor":"photo center"},"edit_url":"","system":"photo center"},"subtitle":"A young couple of man and woman swear at home.","taxonomy":{"associated_tasks":[]},"type":"image","url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/OOHV233RJNCOTLKVQ6YUYWLEOM.jpg","version":"0.10.9","width":6000,"syndication":{},"creditIPTC":"Getty Images","country_name":"Russian Federation"}},"publish_date":"2024-04-01T05:28:37.559Z","revision":{"published":true,"revision_id":"APHETEM74FAYXJMNMRW6AHHGMQ"},"subheadlines":{"basic":"Ask Roe: I’ve tried giving advice and I hate seeing him unhappy, but lately I’ve been dreading going home. What can I do to improve my situation?"},"subtype":"columnist","taxonomy":{"primary_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},"primary_site":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},"sections":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},{"_id":"/health","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","parent":{"default":"/"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"The latest Health news, analysis and comment brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | The Irish Times"},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Health","order":{"default":1009,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1014,"App-Hamburger":1014,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1011,"sitemap-section":1009},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"ancestors":{"default":[],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":[],"section-page-subnavs":[],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":[],"links-bar":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health"}],"sites":[{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}},{"_id":"/health","type":"site","version":"0.5.8","name":"Health","path":"/health","parent_id":"/","additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health","navigation":{"nav_title":"Health"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health"]},"metadata":{"metadata_description":"The latest Health news, analysis and comment brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times.","metadata_title":"Health | The Irish Times"},"Newsletter":{"newsletterid":"News Digest"},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"name":"Health","order":{"default":1009,"+ add":1008,"hamburger-menu":1014,"App-Hamburger":1014,"composer-relevant-sections":1009,"section-page-subnavs":1011,"sitemap-section":1009},"parent":{"default":"/","+ add":"/","hamburger-menu":"/","App-Hamburger":"/","navbar":null,"navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/","section-page-subnavs":"/","App-Links-Navigation":null,"sitemap-section":"/","links-bar":null},"ancestors":{"default":[],"navbar":[],"+ add":["/"],"hamburger-menu":["/"],"App-Hamburger":["/"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":[],"section-page-subnavs":[],"App-Links-Navigation":[],"sitemap-section":[],"links-bar":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}}}],"tags":[{"description":"Magazine","slug":"magazine","text":"Magazine"},{"description":"A selection of the best human interest reporting, interviews, opinion and lifestyle features. ","slug":"for-you","text":"For You"}]},"type":"story","version":"0.10.9","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","_website":"irishtimes","type":"section","version":"0.6.0","name":"Your Wellness","path":"/health/your-wellness","parent_id":"/health","parent":{"default":"/health"},"additional_properties":{"original":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","navigation":{"nav_title":"Your Wellness"},"_admin":{"alias_ids":["/health/your-wellness"]},"metadata":{"metadata_title":"Your Wellness | The Irish Times","metadata_description":"Latest Wellbeing news advice and comment, including tips and advice for staying healthy in body and mind brought to you by the definitive brand of quality journalism. Read The Irish Times."},"Paywall":{"paywall-status":"free"},"_website":"irishtimes","name":"Your Wellness","order":{"default":2003,"hamburger-menu":2003,"App-Hamburger":2003,"composer-relevant-sections":2003,"section-page-subnavs":2003},"parent":{"default":"/health","hamburger-menu":"/health","App-Hamburger":"/health","navbar-NU":null,"Comopser":null,"composer-relevant-sections":"/health","section-page-subnavs":"/health","sitemap-section":null},"ancestors":{"default":["/health"],"hamburger-menu":["/","/health"],"App-Hamburger":["/","/health"],"navbar-NU":[],"Comopser":[],"composer-relevant-sections":["/health"],"section-page-subnavs":["/health"],"sitemap-section":[]},"inactive":false,"node_type":"section"}},"_website_section_id":"irishtimes./health/your-wellness"},"website_url":"/health/your-wellness/2024/03/31/my-partner-hates-his-job-but-his-endless-complaining-is-making-me-miserable/"}},"canonical_url":"/health/your-wellness/2024/03/31/my-partner-hates-his-job-but-his-endless-complaining-is-making-me-miserable/"}],"websites":{"irishtimes":{}},"description":{"basic":"Manual link list for Roe's advice column"},"content_aliases":["roe-mcdermott"],"owner":{"id":"irishtimes"},"revision":{"branch":"default","published":true},"canonical_url":null,"publishing":{"scheduled_operations":{"publish_edition":[],"unpublish_edition":[]}},"website":"irishtimes"},"expires":1771475078328,"lastModified":1771474778141}},"story-feed-sections":{"{\"feedOffset\":0,\"feedSize\":5,\"includeSections\":\"/health/your-wellness\",\"inflate\":\"false\"}":{"data":{"content_elements":[{"_id":"YBVQAPTCXFGEXHAEK42JDFIDQA","additional_properties":{"audio_duration":278,"audio_url":"https://cdn.beyondwords.io/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/3920ead7-a351-4f44-ba2c-5cc2ebe686bf/versions/1771243241/media/a794102e019f05c7b1ff422d9bb4e649_compiled.mp3"},"canonical_url":"/health/your-wellness/2026/02/18/what-are-the-effects-of-alcohol-on-the-body/","content_elements":[{"_id":"VLUI5QQOCVDWLFZ2BTGXR7V6UE","additional_properties":{},"content":"","type":"text"},{"_id":"WUMPNXGHCNEZXEQJKFOBLFN26Q","additional_properties":{},"content":"","type":"text"},{"_id":"D5GJFX7MR5DTPMKVOQCAH2C6RE","additional_properties":{},"content":"Drinking alcohol can have profound effects on the brain and body. In the moment, some of those effects can be pleasurable. But in the long term, especially when it’s consumed in large quantities, alcohol can cause serious health problems.","type":"text"},{"_id":"UQ7DZJIGPZFS3KJM7R7WT73OSU","additional_properties":{},"content":"Here’s an inside look at what alcohol does to the body, both while you’re drinking and over time.","type":"text"},{"_id":"FE274BQBZZFDNIITP5NXFKLY2E","additional_properties":{},"content":"Brain","type":"header"},{"_id":"PBNOGCURB5FKRD6JXTN5M53NC4","additional_properties":{},"type":"image"},{"_id":"OLFT66YPHJB63JEIBIKWPIBG3Q","additional_properties":{},"content":"Alcohol has a rapid effect in the brain, causing people to feel more relaxed and sociable.","type":"text"},{"_id":"MK4D3CXSNNDMRG3K6Z565ZVTVQ","additional_properties":{},"content":"Over the long term, alcohol use is associated with changes in brain structure. Some studies have found that middle-aged and older adults who average even one drink a day tend to have slightly less brain volume than people who don’t drink. And the more alcohol someone consumes, the more the brain shrinks. Experts don’t know exactly why that is, but one theory is that alcohol alters the brain’s immune system, ramping up inflammation, which can damage neurons.","type":"text"},{"_id":"2ZKECAIYP5DSLBUSADB6YKXDLA","additional_properties":{},"content":"Mouth and neck","type":"header"},{"_id":"RSZ6ES6SGBCFJM5KLLKOHETNAA","additional_properties":{},"type":"image"},{"_id":"PBSURBNHPFCRLGJBDIBIXUJUMQ","additional_properties":{},"content":"The tissues that are most at risk from drinking tend to be the ones that come into direct contact with alcohol, including in the mouth and neck.","type":"text"},{"_id":"U2BLVTVEEZEW7LIE4OQQST2XW4","additional_properties":{},"content":"Drinking alcohol increases the risk of four types of cancer in the mouth and upper digestive tract: oral, pharyngeal (throat), laryngeal (voice box) and oesophageal. The mouth, throat and oesophagus are particularly vulnerable since those tissues have some of the greatest exposure to acetaldehyde. ","type":"text"},{"_id":"SIDGW3C6HJEDRCFPZUMMFSAYOM","additional_properties":{},"content":"Irish people consuming alcohol ‘at European average’ with 4.5% drop last year, figures show","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"T7XRDR5IWRDMJH7WPN2NENY2SU","additional_properties":{},"content":"According to one analysis, the risk of mouth and throat cancers increases by 13 per cent and the risk of oesophageal cancer by 26 per cent with just one drink per day. For people who have five or more drinks a day, the risk of all three cancers is roughly four times higher.","type":"text"},{"_id":"5TYSNCUEGZEQFJWIVSISR3AID4","additional_properties":{},"content":"Heart and chest","type":"header"},{"_id":"ZRUKH7OXOFDA3BADUF565Y7B4A","additional_properties":{},"type":"image"},{"_id":"KBLOAE2VCFBNTILUE4FEQRA6KI","additional_properties":{},"content":"A few decades ago, scientists thought alcohol might benefit heart health. But that perspective has changed among some experts in recent years as more research has come to light.","type":"text"},{"_id":"ZMN5RCAQBJBTTKRYN7UBVQFLAU","additional_properties":{},"content":"Alcohol’s relationship to heart attacks and strokes is more complicated. Heavy drinking (three or more drinks per day) is associated with a higher risk of both. But when it comes to light to moderate drinking (two drinks a day or less), the research is mixed. A few studies suggest a small increased risk of heart attack and stroke starting at one drink a day, but several others report that people who drink in moderation actually have a reduced risk, compared with people who don’t drink at all.","type":"text"},{"_id":"SGUUGAEDCFGIBMJ5NL4V6YF4FU","additional_properties":{},"content":"Gut","type":"header"},{"_id":"BFHLB77LJJCKPAMGGSAAPC5QUQ","additional_properties":{},"type":"image"},{"_id":"7QHTVOYKWFA4XC7UPRKWJJ6HCA","additional_properties":{},"content":"Like the mouth and throat, the stomach and intestines come into direct contact with alcohol and acetaldehyde, making them particularly susceptible to damage.","type":"text"},{"_id":"YSGQAYAPYVFL5GHXDHKJL762RY","additional_properties":{},"content":"Tissues in the gastrointestinal tract are also prone to alcohol-related cancer. One recent study found that people who consistently averaged two or more drinks per day had a 25 per cent increased risk of developing colorectal cancer compared with people who averaged less than one weekly drink.","type":"text"},{"_id":"GG5JTLZCO5ANLHVNIRFGWSQZYE","additional_properties":{},"content":"Liver","type":"header"},{"_id":"7I44YVG3HBBQVFHLXD75MHY2TY","additional_properties":{},"type":"image"},{"_id":"Q3G5J77ORBHWFHF4OSBQMNPFUM","additional_properties":{},"content":"The liver may be the organ most vulnerable to damage from drinking, and alcohol-related liver disease is the leading cause of death from excessive drinking.","type":"text"},{"_id":"UR4EDXCLCBDW3KXUC3E7W7WCPQ","additional_properties":{},"content":"According to one estimate, 90 per cent of people who consume more than four drinks per day have fat deposits on their liver, and 30 per cent of people who regularly have three or more drinks a day will develop cirrhosis. The fat deposits, inflammation and early fibrosis can be reversed, but advanced liver cirrhosis is permanent.","type":"text"},{"_id":"XBH5QBOE6ZGRLEF5AJDZR5TZ7M","additional_properties":{},"content":"Like in other parts of the body, heavy drinking also increases the risk of cancer in the liver, because of the DNA damage caused by acetaldehyde.","type":"text"},{"_id":"TRMGD3H3LJA4TBN5BU4JASJPZM","additional_properties":{},"type":"image"},{"_id":"TYAVZPWHY5ETLAFCFAVKYAGI3I","additional_properties":{},"content":"The facts are sobering, but take note: experts say that the odds of experiencing health harms from drinking are relatively low if you average one drink a day or less.","type":"text"},{"_id":"P2HJNPB56RDF5LOZPM6WLHZIQY","additional_properties":{},"content":"The risks go up at eight to 14 weekly drinks, but whether those heightened risks result in an illness often depends on people’s genetics and pre-existing conditions. And if you currently drink heavily, research shows that some of the damage can be reversed if you stop or cut back. – This article originally appeared in the New York Times","type":"text"},{"_id":"4VGASWFDORA5LEGBSLQBSNYH4Q","additional_properties":{},"content":"","type":"text"},{"_id":"7P4C4OPDERHRJEL7WJROKMUVHA","additional_properties":{},"content":"","type":"text"}],"content_restrictions":{"content_code":"metered"},"credits":{"by":[{"additional_properties":{"original":{}},"name":"Dana G Smith"}]},"description":{"basic":"Drinking alcohol can have profound effects on the brain and body, both while you’re drinking and over time"},"display_date":"2026-02-18T17:20:51.426Z","headlines":{"basic":"Alcohol: How it impacts the body while you’re drinking and over time","native":""},"label":{"audio_project_id":{"text":"8948"}},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"GDEUK7OEGBG65BSMV5N7PXHX5A","auth":{"1":"27da34c3f1ab679c14801c23e2bc5846ce4a48b4f3dbb388463906d1c7174f15"},"focal_point":{"x":1792,"y":762},"type":"image","url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/GDEUK7OEGBG65BSMV5N7PXHX5A.jpg"}},"subtype":"feature","taxonomy":{"sections":[{"name":"Your Wellness"},{"name":"Health"}]},"type":"story","website_url":"/health/your-wellness/2026/02/18/what-are-the-effects-of-alcohol-on-the-body/","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/health/your-wellness","additional_properties":{"original":{}},"name":"Your Wellness"}}}},{"_id":"LWZZMAQWQRBMJD7RBFCWTDLS3U","additional_properties":{"audio_duration":294,"audio_url":"https://cdn.beyondwords.io/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/049d1793-c031-4ff8-b6dd-b88349d46737/versions/1770647936/media/8fdd25d76546451a70f695e868092b8c_compiled.mp3"},"canonical_url":"/health/your-wellness/2026/02/18/i-left-my-husband-but-things-are-messy-everything-is-about-money-now/","content_elements":[{"_id":"GUEZWQEO4NCUJLC54QYTVHFMEA","additional_properties":{},"content":"Question","type":"header"},{"_id":"KQKIFNTKEVGVLONO7K3V2IYJBE","additional_properties":{},"content":"I left my husband last winter after several years of unhappiness and his refusal to talk about our problems. His view on things is that we are first and foremost parents and needed to stay together for the sake of our children.","type":"text"},{"_id":"TG4YD6GG7ZGBBHQMP7ITB2TZ6U","additional_properties":{},"content":"Things are messy, I fell in love with another man, and my husband is with another woman now. Our children are in their late teens and one no longer lives at home, but everything is so complicated. He doesn’t want to communicate about their wellbeing or how we will separate our belongings, as he wants to buy me out of our house that we fully own.","type":"text"},{"_id":"DBQWCPHYVNG3NHKJYLJXJCQYRE","additional_properties":{},"content":"I am consumed with guilt and am finding it so hard to have left our home, even though I do not want to buy it back as the last years there were so lonely and unhappy. Everything is about money now and how much I owe him for this or that, yet I pay half of all our children’s needs and have our second child half of the time. Since I moved out, I have been paying all my rent and costs, while he continues to live in our family home and his girlfriend is now there a lot of the time. I feel hard done by, but he says if I can’t pay for my costs, I shouldn’t have left.","type":"text"},{"_id":"GYRSHSYP5ZFUXIUA6FYIUSLCYQ","additional_properties":{},"content":"What can we do to move on to the next part of our lives serenely, rather than dwell on what happened, as we have both got different situations now?","type":"text"},{"_id":"4VU46SB745HX7C6COCGBPEIFOQ","additional_properties":{},"content":"Answer","type":"header"},{"_id":"SNWBE7FASZGFFJB5TX5QFGXPPM","additional_properties":{},"content":"You are still in the early phases of separating and the emotional cost of this is very high. However, many hurts get played out by arguing over finances and access, and this can have long-lasting impacts on everybody, including the children.","type":"text"},{"_id":"UK7MKY7DJ5A6JCJZHYQBG5AN6I","additional_properties":{},"content":"It would be very wise to engage with mediation as this allows an objective professional to make sound recommendations regarding parenting, finances and the future. These recommendations can then be ratified by the courts when the separation is final. The cost of separation and divorce can be very high in all spheres (emotional, physical and financial) and so there is a free Government mediation service to support couples through the process.","type":"text"},{"_id":"XYEIJA2D45DTZBSOHJ7V3PWNOI","additional_properties":{},"content":"Look up citizen’s information and type in family mediation and you should be able to connect with some services in your area. Mediation requires both parties to agree to the process so you will need to talk to your ex-husband about it. The best chance of a reasonable conversation is one where the best interests of your children are served by both parents agreeing to come together in planning for their welfare, with the added bonus of a neutral person laying out a financial plan for the separation.","type":"text"},{"_id":"JVPRNXSLLREGNMLNYRTMRALF54","additional_properties":{},"content":"Your husband may still be hurt that you left him, demonstrated by his saying you must feel the pain (costs) of abandoning the marriage and so it may take him some time to come to terms with the finality of it all. This is why mediation is conducted over several sessions to allow all the tricky and difficult issues to be raised and hopefully ironed out. The danger of not going through this process is that the leaking of anger and hurt can go on for years, with sometimes dire consequences, eg custody battles, long court proceedings and difficult relationships between many family members.","type":"text"},{"_id":"SPH5KZ4JAJFZVBYP4CVOXWNWNE","additional_properties":{},"content":"‘My cousin won’t end his marriage and formalise his relationship with his lover of 15 years’","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"UBWDPESV65D67PED25APUXXYMA","additional_properties":{},"content":"You say you feel guilty about leaving the family home. We use the word “consumed” in relation to guilt as it can feel so huge that it overtakes everything else in our lives. Guilt makes us question if we need to make reparation so the correct action is to address the issue if we can and let go of the guilt. Accept that you left the family home (because you did) and now look to what can be done to make life bearable for all of you. This means being as self-aware as you can be, focus on your children when they are with you and practise fairness and compassion with your ex-husband when you are in contact with him.","type":"text"},{"_id":"3CGFOGNMWBCL3AB2ZW7ETB4XNM","additional_properties":{},"content":"You too deserve to be treated fairly and require even-handedness in the distribution of your property and finances, which is your due, and it follows the track of natural justice. Relationships break down; it is a fact of life and punishing yourself with guilt and regret will not alter the reality of the situation. The fact that you fell in love with someone else so quickly probably signals that the relationship was almost over when you left. Allow your ex-husband time to come to terms with the separation, but be firm in the view that an objective external professional is needed to navigate the dissolution of the relationship, if everyone is to pull through this difficult time.","type":"text"},{"_id":"65ZWNDDFAFDTPBNV7GOCIF73WE","additional_properties":{},"content":"The children are likely to be the biggest beneficiaries of this process, as there is no age at which we are not deeply affected by family breakdown, so any good negotiations will help alleviate their anxieties.","type":"text"},{"_id":"22TQR3U32NFTPO2BHM25ERBBYU","additional_properties":{},"content":"Seek professional support now and begin the process of creating separate lives while continuing your parenting relationship.","type":"text"},{"_id":"5ZGBSV6POREHLFA3GV3OQJJSOE","type":"list"},{"_id":"4YWNGZ5QMFECXE3OY6IALZH2ZQ","content":"