TV REVIEW:IT'S SUCH a staple of RTÉ's spring schedule that by now The Restaurant(RTÉ1, Sunday) should be as limp and unappetising as last week's lettuce. But on the strength of the new series opener it's far from it. The guest chef – this week the actor Angeline Ball: funny, charming and, as it turned out, a five-star cook – is only part of the reason for its watchability. It is (apologies for the pun) the ingredients that make The Restaurantstill work.
The staff, led by John the very dapper maitre d’, get more than the odd word in. Relaying customer comments back to the kitchen, he said: “The lavender ice cream has a toilet taste, but that’s two blokes talking.” That’s all right, then. He also gets points for his unintentionally funny comment about the main dish: “That duck speaks for itself.”
Then there are the diners who appear so relaxed they forget to be self-conscious and remember that it’s really hard to talk about food without sounding like a bit of an eejit (see chatty duck comment above). My favourite this week were the picky couple who had a problem with everything except the lavender ice cream.
Unusually for reality TV, the judges aren’t the stars. Tom Doorley and Paulo Tullio, the resident judges, came across a little exhausted by the whole thing – not a great sign in the first episode of a new series – but Rachel Allen, the perky guest judge, gave their table much-needed fizz.
The wine is sent out blind, and it’s up to the diners and judges to guess what it is. “Only two people have correctly named the wine,” said Sean Moncrieff, who provides a slightly acidic commentary, “and only one of them is at the judges’ table.” That turned out to be Allen, who spotted not only the country but also the region. Doorley hedged his bets, pronouncing: “It’s from Europe.”
CLEVER FORMATS tend to get milked to death in a small country where celebrities are thin on the ground, so that they end up like Anonymous(RTÉ2, Monday), which reached the end of its comedy road last series but, unfortunately, is back for a new one. The idea is that two extraordinarily talented make-up artists – and they are amazing – create a disguise for a well-known person who is then sent out on to the streets and coached through tasks and japes by the comedian Jason Byrne. It was a bad sign when it couldn't squeeze a funny moment from episode one, which featured Jedward.
This week the guest was the model Rosanna Davison; next it’s the singer Michelle Heaton. I’m sure both could go out and about without being recognised at all, which kind of defeats the idea.
EVEN VINCENT BROWNE made better use of Jedward when they appeared on his new chat show, Friday Late with Vincent Browne(TV3), even though you had to watch it through your fingers. Our Eurovision hopefuls were like toddlers after a bowlful of Skittles and a litre of Coke. Midway through Browne could only murmur, "This is this is the most excruciating interview I've ever done."
His guest Ray D’Arcy said he only came along to see the spectacle of Browne interviewing Jedward, although he wasn’t so chirpy when Browne asked how come he was still here at all, given that he had told the nation on The Late Late Show that he’d leave the country if Enda Kenny got elected.
THE REPORTER HENRY McKEAN has a calm, accessible way. He talks to people and they're so unthreatened by him that they talk back. He doesn't ask difficult questions or probe too deeply. A bit like a younger Paddy O'Gorman without the hat. So why did TV3 give his new series such a bizarre, over-inflated and sensation-lite title? Last week it was The Truth About Blood Sports, this week The Truth About Irish Muslims(TV3, Tuesday). No documentary maker could ever live up to that title. So, if you ignored that, this week's programme was an interesting, albeit on-the-surface look at the lives of some Irish people who have converted to Islam.
All had the zeal of the converted to varying degrees. Terry Kelly, now Khalid Kelly from the Liberties – his local nickname is “Taliban Terry” – converted 10 years ago. He is softly spoken and devout. He called his son Osama. “Won’t that cause some difficulties in the school playground?” asked McKean. Kelly had said he won’t feel safe until he lives in a country governed by Sharia law, so young Osama is probably heading for a playground somewhere beyond Dublin 8.
McKean seemed particularly keen on highlighting the segregation of the sexes and the role of women in Islamic culture.Lorraine from Coolock is a long-time convert who was raised a Catholic. She rejected any idea that she, as a Muslim, is treated within her religion as a second-class citizen, and she sees nothing wrong or restrictive with segregation. “If I wanted to talk to a brother I’d speak to him through my husband,” she said, describing something that is fully natural in her chosen world but completely outside the norms of the society she lives in.
Not that McKean challenged her on that. He sat in on a meeting of the Muslim Sisters of Éire – not a rollicking affair – where two of the women wore the veil while another was completely covered right down to wearing gloves; only her eyes were visible through a tiny slit. I’d like to see a programme that explains how that is even practical. She dresses this way, she says, for God, not her husband. This wasn’t a sharp exposé, as the Truth in the title suggested: it was a peek into the lives of some Irish Muslims. And as far as that went it was interesting and well researched.
SUPERSCRIMPERS: Waste Not Want Not(Channel 4, Wednesday), a new make-do-and-mend programme for the times we are in, was proof of how misleading a promo for a series can be. It looked so promising, what with the buxom presenter Mrs Moneypenny bustling around on a bicycling, looking all jaunty in her orange fedora. The idea is that she's helped by a team of thrifty types, who mostly remember wartime rationing, to encourage overspenders to curb their profligate habits.
The pitch to Channel 4 must have sounded good, but it’s dull, not least because Mrs Moneypenny, despite the racy hat, is that energy-sapping combination of bossy and boring. The top tips included growing vegetables to save money. Imagine that! And dye your knickers when they start to look a bit grey. The sight of streaky purple smalls pinned on the line was enough to make you dig out the credit card for a bit of therapeutic cybershopping.
tvreview@irishtimes.com
What not to miss next week
America's Most Hated Family in Crisis(BBC2, Sunday) Louis Theroux (right) revisits the deeply horrible subjects of his brilliant 2007 documentary, and it seems that in the meantime great waves of hubris have hit them.
