That damned Dame and her dirty mouth

God, that Judi Dench is such a f**king buttmunch! Of course she isn’t

God, that Judi Dench is such a f**king buttmunch! Of course she isn’t. We met the Dame a few years back and she was every bit as lovely as you might expect. We were just conducting an experiment.

A representative of the British Board of Film Classification, writing in that body’s annual report, has revealed that the one thing that is guaranteed to generate complaints is cussing from the Denchster. “Almost every time Dame Judi swears in a film, regardless of its category, we can expect a number of complaints,” the BBFC’s chap said.

This year's scandal was about blue language in Quantum of Solace. It seems that, of the six serious complaints the board received about the Bond flick, four concerned Dench-filth and two were from viewers who had mistaken a shadow on another character's leg for genitalia. (Who are these morons?)

Mind you, M's outbursts in Quantum of Solacewere relatively mild in comparison with the obscenities uttered by Dench in Mrs Henderson Presents("Fiddler's f**k) and Notes on a Scandal (something much worse). One imagines that screenings of those films were regularly interrupted by the noise of fainting dowagers.

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What does it all mean? The most likely explanation is that Dench draws in older viewers who have been to the cinema only rarely since Easy Riderwas released. God bless them.