Regional Breakdown Pending

The New National Development Plan is a very exciting development. According to our leader, Mr Ahern, in six years' time the full implementation of the plan could mean an end to unemployment, and have solved all of our financial, fiscal and infrastructural difficulties. If this nirvana is indeed the result, few of us will begrudge the estimated expenditure of £40 billion.

The strong emphasis on easier access to all parts of the State is also to be welcomed, especially the attention being paid to the country's various gateway areas and corridors. There has been too much emphasis on the grand concourse of our proud nation (the heart of Dublin) and not enough on its galleries and cloisters, its antechambers and foyers and lobbies, all of which have become shabby and rundown. After all, anyone prepared for the five-hour haul to the West after turning off at O'Connell Bridge knows that it's not just the arriving that occupies the mind, it's also what there is to gawk at on the way.

The worrying thing is that the plan reflects the national obsession with road-building only as a means of getting somewhere faster. Not only does this indicate a lack of imagination and vision, but it will mean entire counties being bypassed on motorways and dual carriageways. You will leave Dublin and arrive in Galway without having experienced anything of the joys of Kildare, Westmeath and Roscommon.

Even if your actual destination is one of these latter counties, you are going to have to be very careful not to be drawn into one of the seductive new gateway areas or corridors, and find yourself literally funnelled towards Kerry, or Donegal, probably at a minimum speed of 80 mph, with no chance of escape. Whatever happens, the counties of Ireland are going to have their work cut out to maintain a separate identity and continue drawing in tourists from Ireland and abroad. Otherwise, we will end up with a conglomerate Ireland, attractive only to those out to make a quick buck and retire to the south of France. By a happy coincidence, Kildare county showed the way forward on the day the Development Plan was announced.

Kildare has adopted the horse as its official logo by assuming a new identity as the "thoroughbred county". According to the newspaper reports, this marketing initiative is similar to that of the US state of Kentucky, which dubs itself the "bluegrass state" and thrives on images of tobacco and horseflesh.

The survey of different counties which led to Kildare's new designation apparently showed that 60 per cent of the population "made an unprompted association between Kildare and horses". The association with Wicklow as the Garden of Ireland, in contrast, was made by only 39 per cent.

What the survey did not tell us was that over 90 per cent of the population made unprompted associations between Roscommon and ditches, Donegal and rain, Cavan and potholes, Mayo and bogs, Cork and paranoia, Kerry and rashers, Monaghan and stones, Clare and depression, Longford and drink, Louth and lost souls, Leitrim and amnesia, Meath and money. No one could make any unprompted association at all in the cases of Waterford, Laois, Carlow or Offaly.

Sadly, in marketing terms there is not a great deal to build on here. No one could hope for any great tourist feedback from slogans like "Kerry - the Rasher County", or "Stone Me - it's Monaghan" or "Louth: Hould your Whisht and have A.N. Other." No. These are not slogans to draw the masses. We cannot really compete with Florida's designation as the Sunshine State or with New York - the Empire State.

If we want to draw the crowds, it might be worth looking at more historic associations. The "Kingdom" of Kerry might usefully discover a regent, complete with family, and flog the quaint notion of a resurgent Irish royalty operating within the Republic. A poster campaign for "Mayo - God Help Us" might tap into the valuable niche market of ghoul tourism, attracting people eager to witness horror and deprivation at first hand. "Leitrim - the Joke County" could draw surrealists from all over the world, and "Laois - Where's That?" might well prove irresistible to the traveller who has been everywhere else.