THAT sound you hear - the one of people queuing up for three hours for a burger, being overcharged for a can of Coke and being herded around with cattle prods like so many undesirable farmyard animals - is the sound of the beginning of the summer festival season.
It all kicks off tomorrow with the London Fleadh ("The biggest celebration of Celtic music in the world", no less) and with Glasto, Reading and Phoenix on the horizon it looks like being another summer of "it's not as bad as we thought it would be".
The three big local dates to put into your over-priced piece of technological junk (so you won't forget them) are obviously the Radiohead/Massive Attack gig in the RDS on June 21st; The Big Day Out in Galway on July 19th with The Beautiful South and Sinead O'Connor, among others; and the best of the lot, the dream team line-up for the "I can't believe it's not Feile" Day Trip To Tipp on August 24th which features The Prodigy, The Manics and The Foo Fighters. Kula Shaker and Reef are also on the bill but hey, you need to go out and stock up on drink at some stage.
Back to tomorrow's happening: poor Bob Dylan has got a nasty case of Histoplasmosis and without trying to emulate the Skibbereen Eagle, we wish him all the best (despite all those corporate gigs). Shane McGowan replaced Dylan at the faminist love-in down in Millstreet last weekend, so odds-on he'll be doing the same tomorrow - but the organisers hadn't confirmed or denied this by the time we went to bed (as we say in the biz). But then, I suppose, I wouldn't confirm or deny Shane McGowan's appearance until he actually walked out on to the stage - so watch out for some late-breaking news on that one.
The Fleadh is a funny one in that a few years back they sort of gave up on the whole "Celtic" thing and had acts like The Beautiful South (they're busy enough these days) and Crowded House as headliners. All very commendable to get away from that dreadfully insular Celtic vibe, I think. It's very much a mixed bag tomorrow (and naturally I'll be backstage on your behalf, hanging out with my celebrity superstar friends): the main stage features appearances from Van Morrison, The Lightening Seeds (good band, but a bit dreary live), The Divine Comedy, Midnight Oil (the "beds are burning" people), The Corrs (yeah, great), Suzanne Vega (ditto), Naimee Coleman, Superstar and Toots And The Maytalls.
Because of that less-than-brilliant line-up, there'll be a lot of to-ing and fro-ing to the nearby Time Out stage where The Go-Betweens will be headlining after performances from David Gray, Luka Bloom, Nick Lowe and The Specials.
There's a bit of a twist this year as The Fleadh will then be transporting itself over to New York the following weekend for what is described (obviously by an American) as "the largest celebration of Irish music and culture ever held outside the Emerald Isle". Emerald Isle? Give me a break, mister.
THIS is an extended version of The London Fleadh, so as well as Van Morrison et al you also have Sinead O'Connor, Shane McCowan, Christy Moore, Ashley MacIsaac, Blink, Altan, KateIl Keineg, Billy Bragg, Wilco, Something Happens, Mary Black and The Neville Brothers (who qualify under the "black Celtic" rule).
It's all taking place on Randall's Island, if you happen to be in the area, on June 14th and 15th and the best bit of the whole thing is the organisers are going to be recreating an authentic Irish village on the site (what's wrong with The Bronx?) where there'll be "street performers, artisans, dancers, poets and Irish craft and food vendors" on the streets. Just like your average night in Temple Bar, basically. Continuing the Celtic theme, one of the sponsors of the New York Fleadh is Dr Martens - as in the shoes. Now it makes sense.
