Box-office big, box-office little

There was good news for Schadenfreude fans in this week's UK and Ireland box-office figures. And, no, we're not talking about Bridesmaids. As expected, the excellent comedy ate cinemas alive with a stonking £3.44 million (€3.83 million) opening weekend.

The amusing news comes at the bottom of the chart where

Love’s Kitchen

, a romantic comedy starring Claire Forlani, Dougray Scott and, ahem, Gordon Ramsay, registered with a stunning total gross of £121 from five screens. That averages out at about £24 (€26) a screen. In other words, taking West End prices as our guide, the film drew in about two punters per screen over the weekend.

However, that's not quite a record. Last year the UK release of Motherhood, starring Uma Thurman and Minnie Driver, staggered its way to an even more paltry £88.