Valderrama greens as fast as Augusta

THE Ryder Cup pieces are gradually coming together. Firstly, we were told that the venue would be Spanish then it was identified as Valderrama. Now we have a Spanish captain in Seve Ballesteros. All that remains is the emergence of a team capable of retaining the famous trophy that was captured so spectacularly at Oak Hill.

In the meantime, we are assured that the speed of the greens will be the fastest in the history of the Ryder Cup on this side of the Atlantic. Indeed they will be as much as 50 per cent quicker than those for the 1977 staging at Royal Lytham and St Anne's, which remains the last European links to play host toe the event.

Now that tournament golf in the US is about to enter the so called Florida Swing with the Doral Ryder Open next weekend, green speeds will be getting progressively quicker. And whatever former generations may have us believe, current speeds were unheard of 20 years ago.

It was in during the average green speed generation US. Nowadays, the average speed for members on the world's leading championship courses is 8.5 to 9.5 while for professional tournaments, the averages rise from 10.5 to 11.5. Indeed they went beyond 13 during the 1994 US Open at Oakmont.

How is this speed measured? The readings are achieved through the use of a remarkably simple device which was invented 60 years ago by Edward S Stimpson, a member of the Country Club in Brookline, Massachusetts. Its constituents' were a flat stick and the constant force of gravity.

Curiously, his invention was largely ignored until 1976 when the US Golf Association developed a modified version of Stimpson's device for testing on 800 courses. And it worked superbly. So, the Stimpmeter was born. The latest version is a 36 inch aluminium bar with a V shaped groove extending its entire length. The tapered end is rested on the ground and a golf ball is rested in the groove. Then the other end is raised, slowly.

A precisely milled ball release notch, 30 inches from the tapered end, releases the ball at a constant speed. So, by rolling three balls in one direction and three in the exact opposite direction, the average length that the ball rolls will give you the green's Stimpmeter reading. Effectively, a reading of 10 means that the ball has rolled an average of 10 feet.

For the Ryder Cup, the Valderrama greens will be about 11.5 which is comparable to Augusta National, though they are not nearly as undulating. And they will be admirably consistent, given that the normal variation measured during the Volvo Masters last October was no more than 25 or three inches either side of the intended figure.

The demand for faster green speeds has increased the risk for greenkeepers, who are working close to borderline conditions, agronomically. Still, through careful monitoring of weather and playing conditions, the target of smooth, true, consistent and properly paced putting surfaces, is clearly achievable.

"There's a stream that crosses the 12th hole at Latrobe Country Club. I have to drive the ball 240 yards to carry it. When I can't do that, I'll quit." Arnold Palmer, who is now in his 67th year.

A scandalous publication LJ has arrived on my desk and I'm ashamed to admit that I'm enjoying it enormously. The Gullible Golfer, aimed at "those in peril on the tee," costs 50p, but my copy came through the post, gratis.

"Flat footed? Overweight? Unpopular?" It enquiries. "Then join the Territorial Army or Learn how to play golf. Enjoy your weekends and bore everybody rigid."

Much of what is contained in this, the first issue, is unprintable in a family newspaper. But there are the odd items which could be slipped past the censor, like the anagram competition. This involves some well known golfers whose names, "have been jumbled up in a strange and pointless manner."

They are 1, Carrot Nanies 2, Forced Pulse 3, Risen Eel 4, Lepers Tails 5, Big Fat Mummy's Boy. Stop now if you don't want to know the answers.

Otherwise they are 1, Sam Torrance 2, Fred Couples 3, Ernie Els 4, Peter Allise 5, Colin Montgomerie. You suspect there is some mistake in the fifth anagram? So did I until I discovered elsewhere that the editor, from Bristol, tends to lack objectivity where Scotland's leading golfer is concerned.

DURING the Ryder Cup at Oak Hill last September, I'll struck up a friendship with a German radio reporter by the name of Uli. Naturally, we discussed stories but anytime I mentioned that I might have an interesting little line for him his reaction was always the same "Does it involve Bernhard Langer? If it doesn't involve Langer it's no use to me."

Apparently Uli's only chance of "selling" a golf piece to his employers back in Germany was if it concerned Langer, however remotely. But things may be about to change in the wake of a fine, breakthrough victory by Sven Struver in the South African PGA Championship last Monday.

Though last year's Andalucia Open and Volvo Masters' winner, Alexander Cejka, is a German citizen, he was born in the former Czechoslovakia from where he became a refugee at the age of nine. Struver, on the other hand, is German through, and through, having been born of a golfing family in Bremen on August 9th, 1967. He now lives in Hamburg.

I first met him in 1987 when the European Amateur Team," Championship was staged at Murhof, Austria. He created quite, a stir on the opening day when his 68 equalled the best qualifying score. In the first round of match play, however, he made the grave error of attempting to take on Garth McGimpsey in power hitting. McGimpsey won by 4 and 3, Germany were beaten and Ireland went on to capture the title.

Struver will also be remembered for a fine challenge on the way to fourth place in the Murphy's Irish Open at Mount Juliet last July, when he recalled an earlier, ill fated visit to this country. That was in the Quadrangular Internationals at Royal Portrush in 1988 when it became necessary to call an ambulance to extricate him from a bunker where he had fallen, causing a damaged knee to go into spasm.

PETER TOWNSEND, II who will be 50 on September 16th, is eagerly awaiting the opportunity of joining the European Seniors' Tour. The former Portmarnock professional, now a consultant with European Golf Design, will gain automatic exemption for a year as a former winner on the so called regular tour.

"I haven't played serious golf for 15 years, so obviously I, am looking forward to the seniors," he said. "I have kept himself in good shape and am hoping to play quite a few".

Among those contemporaries joining him will be Argentinian Vicente Fernandez (50 on April 5th) and South Africa's Hugh Baiocchi (August 17th). Townsend will be eligible for the last two events of the season the Motor City Seniors at The Warwickshire and The Player Championship at The Buckinghamshire both in October.

IN BRIEF Ciaran Monaghan has been telling me of the remarkable success the video Living with your Golfing Faults has enjoyed on the Irish market since its launch before Christmas. Now, the plan is to market this joint production by Monaghan and commentator Liam Nolan in Britain. "We have had a most encouraging feed back" said Monaghan.

TEASER A spectator tells a player that his ball has been moved by an outside agency. Neither the player nor his caddie was aware the ball had been moved. Is the player obliged to take the spectator's word and replace the ball on the spot from which the spectator said it was moved?

ANSWER No. In stroke play, if it is impractical to get a decision from the committee, the player should, under Rule 3-3, hole out both with the original ball and a second ball played from the spot from which the original ball is alleged to have been moved, and request the committee to decide the matter at the end of the round. In reaching a decision, the committee should interrogate the spectator if possible.

In match play, if there is no referee or representative of the committee available within a reasonable time, the player and his opponent should, if possible, agree on the place from which the player should play his next stroke. If agreement cannot be reached, the player must proceed as he thinks best, and if the opponent does not agree with the action taken he should lodge a claim under Rule 2-5 so that the committee may make a decision under Rule 34-3.