ALL IN THE GAME:A soccer miscellany

PHOTO of the week? Well, only one made it on to the shortlist. As Rio Ferdinand tweeted: "Fifa clear up the Blatter comments with a pic of him posing with a black man . . . I need the hand covering eyes symbol!!"

One person, though, was moved to defend Sepp Blatter for going down the "Hey, look at me hugging a black person!" route: "He is a very big man, I don't think he needs a hug with Tokyo Sexwale to fight his battles."

Who said that? Well, Tokyo Sexwale, the man in the photo, former anti-apartheid activist, Fifa Fair Play committee member and, clearly, one who likes to refer to himself in the third person. The photo was the inspiration for a brand new website by the name of Sepp Blatter With Black People, where visitors are asked to send in photos of him with, well, black people. One shows him shaking hands with Robert Mugabe, the caption reading: "Nice to meet your Mr Obama".

BAD CALL

AFTER the 2,645th call from a complete stranger last week Wojciech Szczesny must have been a bit on the puzzled side. Or maybe the penny dropped earlier than that.

The Arsenal goalkeeper had sent a private tweet to (sometimes topless) model Letesha Collins that read: "Hello babe a "will be" glamour model. Text me on **** (his number) if you wanna talk. Don't give this number out to anyone pls x."

Did the message leave Letesha weak at the knees? Well, after learning that Szczesny already had a girlfriend, no. So, she replied, for all of planet Twitter to see: "Give him a call, clearly isn't too fussed about giving his number out", she said. And she supplied . . . the number.

Happy Trappy: Giovanni gives the go-ahead to celebrate as Doyle begins to dream

"It is time to feel happy now."

– Giovanni Trapattoni after the night that was in it. Happy out.

"We have watched clips of Greece winning it – so why not Ireland?"

– Kevin Doyle reckons we can emulate the Greeks' Euro experience. Some might say we already have.

"The problems start with socks or tying up shoes. Driving a car or using hair gel is not possible. I am still dependent on support."

– Bayern Munich's Bastian Schweinsteiger on life without hair gel (and football) after an operation on a broken collarbone.

"His body is on the pitch, but his mind is left at home sometimes."

– Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini somewhat questioning Micah Richards' concentration levels.

"The behaviour of Real Madrid was lamentable and arrogant. Their attitude resembled a colonial mentality. I convinced Neymar to stay by telling him that Jose Mourinho would have forced him to cut his hair. He can do with his hair whatever he likes here."

– Santos president Luis Alvaro Ribeiro on how he persuaded Neymar – whose hair-do is almost as unique as his talent — to sign a new contract with the club.

"He's a footballer and, like the Fleetwood Mac song, players only love you when they're playing and he needs to be playing."

– Gordon Taylor on rumours of Carlos Tevez not getting on the best with Roberto Mancini.

"When I go abroad I can't go in lifts. I don't mind it in England but I can't do it when I go away."

– Manchester United's Phil Jones, worn out from climbing foreign stairs.

"I'd like to thank the fans who brought it to my attention in a constructive manner."

– Bradford City director of operations David Baldwin after the club's Christmas calendar had to be withdrawn because it featured a Hull City player on the front.

Say cheese: Taxi man misses Messi photo opportunity

TAXI driver meets the greatest footballer on planet earth. And Javier Mascherano ( see picture above). And hands the greatest footballer on planet earth his phone to take a pic of himself and Mascherano. You'd have chuckled at the notion – if the photo hadn't appeared on the Barcelona website.

BLAME IT ON RIO

THE Observer'sDavid Hills is no fan of Fifa or Sepp Blatter, very brilliantly cataloguing their misdemeanours over the years.

Still, he felt moved to make a simple enough point yesterday about Blatter's nemesis Rio Ferdinand now being hailed as a warrior against bigotry: "0: Number of times Sepp has used the word "faggot" on Radio 1."

No Wasabi: Japan's Italian coach left hot under collar

WASABI, as we all know, is a Japanese plant with a thick green root that tastes like strong horseradish and is used in cooking, especially in powder or paste form as an accompaniment to raw fish.

Little wonder, Japan manager Alberto Zaccheroni was so upset when North Korean customs officers confiscated his wasabi when he arrived with the squad in Pyongyang for a World Cup qualifier. "Zaccheroni carries the spicy Japanese condiment with him on trips, squirting it on everything, even plain rice," it was reported. "It was a recipe which worked, the Blue Samurai unbeaten in his first 16 games."

Just to darken the Italian's mood, they lost. "He ate little but bread for three days in Pyongyang," said Japan FA president Junji Ogura, who also revealed the players had had their bananas, chewing gum and instant noodles taken at the airport. Fortunately, Zaccheroni and his squad had already qualified for the next stage of qualifying. North Korea? They're out.

Farewell letters: Adi shows little passion for Pasching

OKAY, just imagine Ireland meeting Italy in the Euro 2012 final and before the game Giovanni Trapattoni running over to the Italian fans, whipping off his shirt to reveal "ITALY" scribbled on his back. It'd be just a tiny bit peculiar. Adi Pinter, though, felt perfectly comfortable doing a similar thing before the Austrian league game between his relegation-threatened FC Pasching side and Grazer AK (GAK), who he used to play for and manage.

Yes, he ran to the Grazer fans, whipped off his shirt, to reveal "GAK" scribbled on his back. That went down well, as you can imagine, with the Pasching supporters.

Worse, Pasching lost 6-0 – and by full-time Pinter was unemployed.

"It makes no sense. We are fighting against relegation, so your own club should take priority, not GAK," said Pasching president Hemlut Nussbaumer.

Pinter was unrepentant, though, and actually sounded a little chuffed to have lost his job. "FC Pasching should be renamed FC Fasching," he said, which, in English, would have them known as FC Carnival.

Sent to Coventry: Allow fans to text their subs on

WHEN you're as cash-strapped as Coventry City you really have to be imaginative when trying to come up ideas for bringing in some loot. So you can only salute one of the club's shareholders, Canadian Leonard Brody.

"How do you make a more exciting experience for your fan base so they are willing to do more than just show up at a game," he asked. "How do you engage them more in the game and get their input in the process, and at the same time derive revenue in a way we were never able to before?"

Go on then, what's the idea? "Let's be the most progressive club in the country in connecting its fans to the game with a representative on the board and an impact on in-game decisions," he said.

An impact on in-game decisions? Eh, how exactly? Over to the Coventry Telegraph: "The Canadian entrepreneur suggested to fellow directors the club could enhance supporters' match-day experience by getting them to text in their preferred substitutes during a game which the manager would then have to comply with."

If Ireland had tried this out last year the exchange might have gone something like this: John Delaney: "Gio, I have the result of the text poll – they want you to bring Andy Reid on." Trapattoni: "But he's not on the bench!" Delaney: "Yeah, I know.