English Premier League: Newcastle United 6 (Murphy 2, 9, Joelinton 6, Isak 19, 21, Wilson 67) Tottenham Hotspur 1 (Kane 49)
It was the sort of match which prompted more questions than answers. How come Joe Willock has not yet had a senior England call-up? Where on earth would Tottenham be without Harry Kane? Will Cristian Stellini ever risk playing a back four again? And, perhaps most importantly, Newcastle surely cannot blow Champions League qualification now? Can they?
At the end of an astonishing drama featuring two goals apiece from Jacob Murphy and Alexander Isak, Eddie Howe’s side rose to third in the Premier League, six points and two places ahead of Spurs, who now have considerable psychological damage to repair.
The visitors started with a back four for the first time since January 2022 but Stellini’s decision to break with Antonio Conte’s old back three fixation soon looked unwise.
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Newcastle were ahead after 61 seconds. When the visitors lost the ball in midfield, Joelinton was allowed to saunter into the box as Cristian Romero, his supposed minder, watched admiringly.
When the outstanding Joelinton – surely close to a senior Brazil call-up – eventually shot, Hugo Lloris could only parry into the path of Murphy whose close range effort did the rest.
Not to be eclipsed, Joelinton very swiftly scored a goal of his own. This time Fabian Schär’s superbly lofted, long through ball confounded the visiting defence – Romero in particular – allowing Joelinton to round Lloris before steering the ball into the empty net.
By the ninth minute Howe’s side had scored a third, with Murphy the scorer once more. Once again Schär was the creator, the Switzerland centre-half, dispossessing Son Heung-min before picking Murphy out. After taking a couple of touches he sent a sensational 30-yard shot swerving beyond Lloris.
Even Murphy looked a little surprised at how well things were going, but Newcastle’s afternoon had really only just got going. The time had come for Willock to remind everyone what a very good season he is having and, courtesy of a sublime through pass delivered with the outside of a foot from deep, the former Arsenal midfielder duly teed up Isak to steal behind Tottenham’s bisected backline and sweep a shot into the bottom corner.
Pressing Spurs into submission at every turn, Willock was enjoying an excellent game, reinforcing his case for inclusion in Gareth Southgate’s next England squad, but he can rarely have been permitted so much space and time in which to strut his stuff.
For their next trick, a minute later, Howe’s players passed and moved around their guests from a short free-kick until the ball reached Sean Longstaff. His lay-off enabled Isak to direct Newcastle’s angled fifth home in imperious fashion. Twenty-one minutes had passed, Spurs, perhaps prudently, switched to a back five and Kane had a face like thunder.
Howe had demanded a “positive response” following his side’s unscheduled 3-0 defeat at Aston Villa last Saturday but even he could have hardly envisaged it proving this emphatic.
With Pape Sarr withdrawn, the substitute Davinson Sánchez now constituted the right-sided component of Stellini’s new look central defensive trinity and as heavy rain cascaded down Gallowgate, Tottenham improved a little.
Not that Conte’s interim successor looked any happier on the edge of his technical area.
The air temperature felt as if it had dropped a few degrees but Stellini, wearing an expression that offered to redefine “appalled”, appeared no less agitated.
The siren screech of the UK government’s 3pm emergency alarm being triggered across countless mobile phones had still to sound, but scores of Spurs supporters had already heeded internal warning systems of their own and departed early.
Those partaking in that exodus missed the sight of Kane advancing down the left, eluding Schär as he cut inside, and, ultimately, directing a fabulously well-calibrated 49th-minute left-foot shot beneath the diving Nick Pope.
That consolation goal meant that, although Newcastle continue to boast the Premier League’s best defensive record, they have now not kept a clean sheet in the league for 11 games. It reinforced the impression that, without Kane, Tottenham could have been in quite a bit of trouble this season.
In reverting to that more familiar back five, Stellini’s defence were no longer quite so badly bothered by Newcastle crosses, most notably from Kieran Trippier, a former Spurs defender, that had so unhinged them during the first period.
Nonetheless they conceded a sixth goal when, 65 seconds after entering the pitch as substitutes, Miguel Almirón and Callum Wilson combined for the latter to side-foot the fallout from Romero’s blocking of an Almirón shot at Fraser Forster, who had come on for the injured Lloris at half-time. It was Wilson’s first touch. Talk about making an instant impact.
As an approving Sting looked on from the main stand, Newcastle must have felt they really were Walking on the Moon.
