Gerry Thornley’s New Zealand Diary: Hard-earned respect makes this Irish tour the best ever

The three-and-a-half weeks have flown by, which is always a good sign.

Of the last five Irish tours to New Zealand, and the two Lions tours in 2005 and 2017, this has been the best by far, and not just because Ireland finally beat the All Blacks on Kiwi soil in Dunedin last week – although that sure helped.

Slinking away from Eden Park in 2002 (8-40 in the second Test), or New Plymouth in 2010 (28-66), or Hamilton a decade ago (0-60), not to mention the disastrous Lions tour of 2005 (when the 38-19 third Test defeat in Eden Park completed a Blackwash by an aggregate of 67 points), it would have been impossible to imagine a week like this last one.

On all those tours, the dismissiveness of both the NZ media and public towards Irish rugby teams was both palpable and entirely understandable. All Blacks players seemed to know only of Brian O’Driscoll.

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As Johnny Sexton has said on this tour, the only way Irish rugby was ever going to gain respect in New Zealand was by beating them. The All Blacks know more than one name now.

The most comparably enjoyably odyssey to New Zealand was for the 2011 World Cup, when seemingly everybody in the host country contributed to laying on the tournament. Being held in September and October meant brighter evenings and more sunshine. The invasion of fans from everywhere further enlivened a country that took uniform pride in hosting a World Cup.

Except that it came with an asterisk – a fine Irish team with O’Driscoll, ROG, Paulie et al in their pomp lost to a fine Welsh team with Shane Williams, Mike Phillips, Jonathan Davies et al in their pomp. That was the World Cup quarter-final that got away.

Still, it reminded you that New Zealand must be a glorious country in their summertime.

Week One - Auckland

There’s a good, if small, travelling media crew of eight. We arrived in dribs and drabs, via differing airlines and routes, before the advance party assembled for the first Irish media day at North Harbour stadium on the first Saturday.

There was Lombardi, ie the snapper who is always 10 minutes early, the code established by the American football coach, Vince Lombardi. Alas, two of my fellow daily hacks, The Ex-man and The Keen One (a debutant) did not abide by Lombardi time on this morning, but the jet lag is a brute.

The Veteran Snapper and the Voice, both of whom abide by Lombardi Time as well, along with the Sunday Writer (all of whom, like myself, have been coming here since 2002 (even longer in the case of The Veteran) and The Funny Fellah would arrive over the coming days. The Writer had a tough trek, with one cancelled connection and an unscheduled stopover, while two cases were mislaid, which The Voice might have mentioned once or twice.

On mature recollection, as someone once said, those pre-internet/website tours were a doddle compared to modern-day ones. Now, given the time difference in New Zealand, the workload is doubled. To coin a Fianna Fáil election slogan, each day usually hit a point where it was a case of ‘little or nothing done, loads more still to do’.

For the unfortunate midweek side, at both the first Maoris’ game in Hamilton and the second one in Wellington, the rain was close to biblical. But otherwise, that first week in Auckland was unusually sunny and pleasant. The Ex-man is a good driver and has an encyclopedic knowledge of music.

The highlight was a day trip for lunch to Waiheke Island, organised by The Voice, when we were blessed by both the sunshine and the choice of restaurant, the French/Italian style setting, the stunning views and the presence of the esteemed NZ Sky TV commentator Tony Johnson, a great storyteller with not a hint of TV-itis. Only the hard-working Ex-man and the Writer, who’d done Waiheke Island twice before, gave it a miss.

Prior to Justin Marshall bringing his balanced co-commentary, Murray Mexted was alongside Johnson. “The ebb and flow of psychic energy,” was one of Mexted’s favourite sayings.

“And I still don’t have an idea what he meant,” Johnson admitted.

Alas work beckoned although due to a shortage of Ubers only The Veteran, the Funny Fellah, the Keen One and myself made the hourly ferry at 5pm with a minute to spare, thanks to a waiter-turned-driver who is possibly a distant relative of Juan Manuel Fangio.

Another highlight was having a few drinks overlooking the yachts on the viaduct. Inquiring about The Funny Fellah’s roots, he revealed he originally came from Lawrencetown.

Moments later, an Irish lady with a distinct Ulster accent asked: “Did I hear one of you say you were from Lawrencetown?’ With that, The Funny Fellah went off to regale some fellow past-pupils from the same old school.

Week Two - Auckland/Queenstown/Dunedin

In addition to the Irish media crew of eight, Alan Quinlan and Donal Lenihan have been floating around on the edges, although it required a two-night trek to picture-postcard Queenstown to find them – again masterminded by The Voice.

Both the 170-strong and 55-strong Rugby Travel Ireland and Killester Travel contingents were also enjoying the sights of the adrenalin-fuelled town.

David from Kilkenny and Aideen from Donegal hosted myself and The Voice on night two in Arrowtown, a beautiful and historic gold-mining town which is a spectacular 20km drive from Queenstown. The busy bar was like something out of a movie from the wild west, fireplace going, except inside there was a group of Kiwis playing . . . traditional Irish music.

The four-hour drive to Dunedin with Quinny and Donal was beyond description, although it wasn’t without its similarities to parts of Connemara. We stopped off in remote Roxburgh, not for one of Jimmy’s Famous Pies (something of an institution) but for a sandwich in one of the innumerable and quaint coffee shops which also doubled up as a clothes shop.

Our Dunedin-based Scottish driver, Neil, has maintained his reduced fleet of cars after happily giving up on London where he spent 20-odd years in the advertising game.

The economic effects of the pandemic was evidenced by several cafes being boarded up. Still, there was the compulsory rugby pitch, and on an outdoor noticeboard in the main street were the timings of the next round of games, from Under-8s all the way up, although the club looked as remote as the Connamara All Blacks.

For some of us, we shared our Dunedin hotel with the All Blacks, which made for some awkward elevator moments with Aaron Smith and Beauden Barrett, a sound easygoing lad like his dad, Smiley, with whom a few pints were shared in Auckland along with Isaac Boss and Barry Murphy, from Ringsend, who is the owner of the D4 pub in Wellington with his brother, Dermot.

Sky Sports have been running one of their Jersey Tales series with Boss, during which he proudly unveils a framed Irish jersey he wore when scoring the final try in Ireland’s win over England in Croke Park.

Week Three - Wellington

The contrast with the week of the Lions’ third Test in Auckland in 2005 could hardly be starker. Every rainy day seemed like Groundhog Day. It was the week that seemed to never end.

On Monday we learn that Kerry had beaten the Dubs. Lombardi stayed up to watch it (the throw-in was 2.30am Kiwi time) which may give a clue as to his county of origin. In a further clue, it’s not Dublin.

A key difference from every other excursion here since 2002, save for the Lions in 2017 is, of course, that Ireland had set up a series decider.

There have been five Irish men’s wins over the All Blacks, beginning with Munster in 1978, Chicago 2016, Dublin 2018 and 2020, and now Dunedin 2022. Donal Lenihan was a student in UCC when he attended the first of those as a fan, and it turns out that a supporter, John “Starry” Crowley was also present for all, prompting Donal to tweet: “Anyone else?”

Crowley worked in the Western Star, once upon a time the most famous sports bar in Cork. His dad, Starry Crowley, is a famous former Cork Con and Munster hooker and any student who went to UCC knew the Star, which sadly no linger exits.

It poured and swirled rain all day and for the win over the Maoris on Tuesday. For the most part though, windy Welly has been dry and pleasant, but caught in one of the draughts between buildings on certain pavements, the wind could blow the skin off your face.

We were in the same hotel as the Maoris. So while the four of us on the daily beat were working late into the night – The Funny Fellah suggested we should have matching T-shirts with the word Fool inscribed – the walls shook to the sound of the Maoris performing the haka on the floor below us before they attacked the night.

We’ve eaten like kings again. The highlight was the Charley Noble restaurant, where another Irishman abroad, Gareth Dineen, joined us. Gareth is co-founder and Chief Product Officer of ‘1014′, whose name is in reference to Richie McCaw’s cap number and has also been taken on by the group of Munster private backers. He has previously co-hosted a show on Sky Sports and on Spark’s World Cup coverage, and among their clients are the Chiefs.

The lowlight was the floor manager in a Mexican restaurant who loudly hustled us out around 10pm and is just possibly in the wrong business.

NZR have been inviting us to weekly drinks and nibbles each Thursday of the three Test weeks, but Thursdays being double team announcements, only The Veteran, Lombardi, The Voice and The Writer have been able to attend.

This Thursday, both team announcements were around midday, meaning three of The Four Fools could finally make an appearance and have a beer with CEO Mark Robinson, fellow staff members as well as the Herald’s Liam Napier and co for the first time all tour.

Ireland’s earlier team announcement was in Jerry Collins Stadium, home to the Northern United Rugby Club. En route, my Uber driver Graeme held court. A Wellingtonian, he informed us that the students who come from Auckland to study in Wellington tend to not want to go back. One student had told us the same thing earlier in the week.

Whenever he goes there, Graeme said: “The best thing about Auckland is leaving it”.

The late, great Collins was tragically taken too young when killed in a car crash near Beziers along with his partner Alana Madill in June 2015, saving the life of their three-month-old daughter Ayla when throwing his body across her just before a bus crashed into their car.

Collins grew up in humble origins in Porirua, literally in the estate across the road from the picturesque stadium which now bears his name. One section is effectively a mural to Collins, with framed photos of the teams he played for: Northern United, Wellington, the Hurricanes, the All Blacks and the Ospreys.

There’s also a framed Lions jersey from the second Test in 2005, which was Simon Easterby’s. The Ireland defence coach, who has kept a typically low profile on this tour, was brought in for a TV interview to the backdrop of that Lions jersey.

Rugby remains the dominant sport in NZ, yet at Thursday’s press conference a Kiwi TV journalist informed Andy Farrell that there’s an identity crisis at grassroots level, and the game’s popularity is on the wane, with numbers at secondary level diminishing.

The Ireland head coach looked aghast.

“I think it says everything about New Zealand if you’re thinking at grassroots level it’s on the wane because every time I go onto a motorway or past a school, there’s rugby being played everywhere. I wish it was like that back home. I don’t think it is on the wane at all from what I’ve seen.

“I suppose we’re all trying to get to that point, you know what I mean? We’re all pushing the game. From what we have heard the excitement back home is reaching fever point, so that is exactly what we want to do for Irish rugby.”

The TAB advertising campaign shows no signs of eating humble pie. On returning to base, one billboard on the outskirts of Wellington reads: ‘You might not be celebrating Furlong Ireland’.

Old attitudes here still apply though.

Disappointingly and surprisingly the aforementioned Mexted, on the AM TV show on Three New Zealand yesterday morning, ventured: “No New Zealand team should ever lose to an Irish team”.

“Well,” responded The Voice, a fellow guest on the show, “it happened last week, and the mad thing is it happed three times before that as well”.

But most Kiwis are coming round to the realisation that this has become, eventually, a great rivalry.