Quotes of the week

"You can't pin all the blame on Egil Olsen . . . the Dons knew they weren't getting a Tommy Cooper."

- Eh? Former Wimbledon manager Dave Bassett, talking to the Sun, leaves us puzzled. Just like that.

"This is not a positive thing for the transfer."

- PSV spokesman Pedro Salazar-Hewitt clinches the "understatement of the season" award after Ruud van Nistelrooy's knee broke down in training.

"When I think about my quality, my skills, what I'm capable of doing on the pitch, I deserve to be playing in a really top team."

- David Ginola hints that he doesn't think Spurs are a really top team.

"Two young Pat's fans, aged about eight or nine, were getting off the bus in front of friends of mine on their way to the Leinster Cup Final on Thursday night. One said to the other: "Did Pat's win the league this year?" The reply? "I don't know: probably."

- St Patrick Athletic, the Carlsberg of the National League? (Thanks to Rowan McFeely)

"A preposterous, sulky little twit - with his silly, vain, designer-stubbled face and stupid floppy hair - with nothing to distinguish him but a gift for kicking a ball around a football pitch and an insatiable appetite for self-publicity."

- An art critic pays tribute to David Beckham after the English National Portrait Gallery announced their intention to exhibit a piccie of the footballer.