Quotes of the week

"You can't buy talent like that. And if you could, it would cost you a lot of money."

- Mick McCarthy puts a price on the priceless Robbie Keane.

"The only person who seems unmoved by the adulation is Robbie Keane himself. . . who was brought up in an area of Dublin where, as the joke goes, even the Dobermanns walk around in pairs."

- Christopher Davies, writing in Friday's Daily Telegraph, manages to offend the entire population of Tallaght.

"Of 192 soccer playing nations Ireland are ranked 54th, Malta are 124th, putting them below such European luminaries as the Falkland Islands, Armenia and Albania."

- George Hamilton, during his commentary on Wednesday's international. (Next week George will be working at the derby game between the Faeroe Islands and Argentina).

"A real fear of being in possession of the ball."

- Manchester City assistant manager Willie Donachie, writing in the programme for City's game against Preston last week, pinpoints the reason why the team has struggled so badly in recent years.

"John Hartson needs to exercise a few demons."

- Gabby Yorath, ITV football presenter, advises the West Ham hard-man to take his demons for a walk, in her Sunday Mirror column.

"He expects us to go and see him and offer him the olive branch? He can stick it up his arse."

- Nottingham Forest manager Dave Bassett on stay-away striker Pierre van Hooijdonk's request for chairman Irving Scholar to contact him and discuss his return to the City Ground. (Rumours that Dave is in contention for next year's Nobel Peace Prize have been denied).

"Imagine if we had scored a goal or two at home - we'd be on top of the league now."

- Everton manager Walter "if a donkey had black and white stripes it'd be a zebra" Smith.

"We have to be behind him because he is the manager."

- John Barnwell, chief executive of the English League Managers' Association, gives Glenn Hoddle a ringing, resounding vote of confidence. Kind of.

"You talk about sexy football - that was more like perversity."

- Gordon Strachan sums up yesterday's unattractive game between his Coventry side and Sheffield Wednesday.