"I can have 10 things happen to me, and if nine of them are shitty I will hang my hat on the one good thing. Stan can have nine good things and one bad one, and he will hang his hat on the bad thing."

- Aston Villa manager John Gregory despairs of Stan Collymore's (right) refusal to look on the bright side of life.

"We're playing really well, I don't know what's got in to us recently."

- Derby's Lars Bohinen expresses his amazement at his team's recent run of good form.

"I have never been involved in such a limp-wristed display in all my life."

- Brighton manager Jeff Wood accusing his side of being less than manly after their 4-0 home defeat by Darlington.

"They think I have retired in France. At the airport the other day, a Frenchman said `Ah, Daveed, how is retirement?' I said `What?' He said `You stopping football'. It's just amazing."

- David Ginola discovers the level of interest in the English game amongst his fellow.

"Glenn (Hoddle) and I are instruments of God and He is displeased with what has happened. Something spectacular will happen soon, you mark my words."

- The lovely Eileen Drewery predicts a sparkling England display in their next game. Is that what she meant by spectacular?

"Scheming, diving, ref baiters."

- Alex Ferguson pays tribute to Inter Milan, ahead of Wednesday's return leg in the European Cup quarter-finals.

"I cannot understand this. Nigeria has 120 million people. They eat, drink, make love and don't have any more deaths than most other countries."

- FIFA president Sepp Blatter hits back at claims that Nigeria is unsafe to stage the World Youth Cup Finals. That's David O'Leary reassured then.