Compiled by NOEL O’REILLY

Harrington second fiddle to second fiddle Mickelson

HE MAY have three Majors in the trophy cabinet of his Dublin home but it seems our own Pádraig Harrington still has some way to go before truly impressing his peers on the US PGA tour. In a recent Sports Illustrated poll of golfers on the American circuit, players were asked who they believed was the second best player in the game.

Just six per cent chose the Dubliner, with Phil Mickelson the runaway leader on 72 per cent. But the biggest surprise was the runner-up, with serial bridesmaid Sergio Garcia garnering twice as many votes as Harrington. Go figure.

One other point of interest from the locker rooms was the choice of "hottest significant other". Touchingly, over a quarter of respondents cited their own wives but Parker McLachlin's wife, Kristy, was a close second with 23 per cent of players.

Just as well the poll was anonymous.

Golfing sland of the week

THE RYANAIR – refers to an approach shot that has a perfect flight, looks great in the air but lands miles away from where it was supposed to.

Guinazu gets her Angel all wrong

ANGEL CABRERA is not, by all accounts, the most forthcoming of interviewees but we can’t help thinking the veteran Argentinian broadcaster Magdalena Ruiz Guinazu, didn’t make life easy for herself during a recent tete-à-tete with the US Masters champion.

Having asked Cabrera what it was like to face Tiger Woods at Augusta recently (“I didn’t,” was the curt response, “there were 95 other players there.”) Guinazu decided to shift the focus of the chat.

“What,” she continued, “was it like for De Vicenzo to face Woods?”

Given that Roberto De Vicenzo, Argentina’s other golfing hero, is now 86 the uneasy silence that followed was somewhat predictable.

“De Vicenzo never played Woods,” El Pato finally explained.

“What?” a confused Guinazu asked, whereupon an increasingly bemused Cabrera explained again that the two men hadn’t played together.

“Yes, I think they played,” pressed the undeterred journalist.

“Yes, well, sorry, but . . .” sighed Cabrera, whereupon the phone line went dead.

Slapstick Pádraig

WE THINK it is safe to assume that Planet Golf is not the only hacker to have copied Happy Gilmore’s unique driving style (where you take a running start at the ball before attempting to launch it into next week) on a quiet afternoon at the local range. But we had considered professionals to be above that sort of carry on. Not so.

Pádraig Harrington demonstrated his sense of fun in an experiment for the American television show Sport Science. Boasting some nimble footwork, Harrington was able to add over 30 yards to his average drive due to the wider shoulder turn and added swing speed.

Despite there being no official rule against the technique, we’re unlikely to witness Harrington “Happy Slapping” at a tour event anytime soon. Apart from the inherent lack of accuracy, Harrington reckons he’s a touch too conservative to try it out for real.

Swingers get better discount

THE GLOBAL recession has hit all walks of life over the last 18 months and it now seems the world’s oldest profession is feeling the pain, in Germany at least. With the economic downturn in full swing, an industry worth a remarkable €14 billion (yes, billion!) to the German economy has been forced to come up with new marketing strategies to get punters through the doors.

Many brothels have slashed prices, offered discounts to senior citizens and, curiously, rebates for golf players. Why exactly golfers are being singled out for this special treatment, and how clients prove their bona fides, is beyond us but we can’t help but salute the women’s entrepreneurial spirit.