Payton nonsense

Not since Luther Blissett blamed his struggles in Italian football on his failure to find a shop that sold Rice Krispies have we enjoyed a footballer's attempts at digging himself out of a hole as much. Last week Football 365 unearthed this gem from the Star: Burnley's Andy Payton made a run for it after driving his Volkswagen GTi into the side of a house following a session down the local. When the police called at his ex-wife's house they found him hiding, semi-naked, in a cupboard. When asked what, precisely, he was doing there, Payton replied: "Checking on the kids' Christmas presents".