On The Sidelines

He has made one cut in the last three years, none in the last two. At the beginning of March of this year, he was 0 for his last 32 tries on the PGA Tour. At the 1995 British Open, at St Andrews, playing with Arnold Palmer, he snap-hooked his first drive so wickedly that it cleared two fairways and went out of bounds more than 170 yards dead to his left.

Caddies at St Andrews couldn't remember anyone ever doing that before, not Tour pros, not amateurs, not tourists. At the 1997 British Open at Royal Troon, he shot a 92, the worst score for a former champion in modern times. Afterwards, he went into the Champion's room and wept for 45 minutes.

Since May 1994 he has made less than $20,000 world wide. He has been through more than 30 coaches, psychologists, hypnotists, nutritionists, healers, gurus and swing doctors. People sent him letters to help him get over the slump. "Change your prayer habits," said one. "Sleep with this indian stone under your pillow. It resonates your spirit," said another.

Last month, Australian professional Ian Baker-Finch decided that he would not play any tournament golf until the year 2000. And you thought you had problems with your swing!

The Southern Star, formerly the Skibbereen Eagle, was candid about the effect the woes they believe are facing Irish rugby might have in their edition of the first week of March, in the run-up to Ireland playing France in the Five Nations Championship. In a strident editorial under the headline `Guillotine looms for Irish rugby', the paper takes a jack hammer to rugby in this country.

"When, therefore, the Irish rugby team represents the country in Paris this Saturday," it said, "and gets absolutely annihilated in the customary humiliating fashion, this embarrassing experience will be highly negative for the reputation of Ireland abroad and will win us no favours or friends among the rapidly converging EU nations shortly to adopt the single currency."

Now that's laying it down pretty heavy.

An insurance company has been forced to pay a $1.6 million claim after courts decided that stallion Le Glorieux had his sexual prowess reduced by a bump on the head. Le Glorieux, winner of the 1987 Japan Cup, can sire foals, but not as many since a 1994 accident left him with a balance - and therefore mounting - problem.

French and Kentucky courts have ordered insurance agency Equitania to settle the claim on an accidental infertility policy that covered the stallion, who is based in Lisieux, France.

Le Glorieux's unsteadiness has caused a steep decline in his stud income.

Much of the quarrel in the French court centred on the definition of impotence. In French, impotence means disability. Impuissance is the word for a specifically sexual disability.

Richard Vimont, owner of Equitania, is planning an appeal and said: "If the decision stands, then you can be somewhat infertile, and impotent doesn't mean totally impotent."

The prize money for this year's three-day Grand National meeting at Aintree on April 2nd, 3rd and 4th will, for the first time, come close to the £1 million mark. On day one, the total prize money for seven races will come to £225,000. On day two, it will add up to £235,000 and on day four, which includes the Grand National and the Aintree Hurdle, two of the richest races, the prize money will total £465,000.

Notably, the Martell Grand National itself will offer £300,000, up £50,000 on last year. This means that added prize money for the Grand National has increased by nearly 90 per cent in just three years and is already comfortably the most valuable race of the National Hunt season.

Naturally, there is an increased entry for the race. On January 28th, the 1998 event had attracted 105 entries, the equal-highest number since 1986 when 109 horses were entered.

UEFA president Lennart Johansson, below, is poised to become the most powerful figure in world football, the president of FIFA, according to a Reuters poll of leading journalists this week.

Two thirds of journalists polled expected FIFA to chose Johansson to take over from Joao Havalange who has been head of the footballing body for 24 years. Johansson has the backing of both UEFA and the African Football Confederation (CAF).

But less than 40 per cent of those surveyed said they would plumb for the Swede if they could decide on a candidate for themselves. Aurelian Brebeanu editor-in-chief of Gazeta Sporturilor, a daily sports paper in Romania, agreed that Johansson was the most likely, but he was one of 10 journalists who said that they would rather see former German international Franz Beckenbauer in the top job.

After the hullabaloo over the PGA resisting attempts by the professional golfer Casey Martin to use a golf cart during tournaments, it has been revealed that the PGA themselves appear to want it both ways - in America, at least.

It was pointed out in a March edition of the US magazine Sports Illustrated that 80 per cent of the PGA-owned golf courses in the US operate a policy whereby carts are mandatory for everyday use. It's seems then that the PGA think it good practice to force people, who want to walk, into using a cart if there is more money to be made out of it i.e. forcing people to play quicker rounds. But it is bad practice to allow a golfer with a debilitating disease to use a cart to earn a living through the game. Of course, after Martin's victory in the courts and assuming that the PGA's appeal does not win, something will have to give.

News that Scandinavian tycoon Kjell Inge Rokke has just spent £65 million buying The Parken, Denmark's premier stadium, may deflect some of the attention away from Dublin in the ongoing saga of the Wimbledon soccer club move.

As well as the Copenhagen ground, Rokke has also reportedly spent £28 million on a new ground for his home club, Molde. There is, however, no sign yet that Rokke will bestow Joe Kinnear with any of his loose change, nor indeed acquire a stadium in London and end all of the nonsense.

The MCC, who have their base at Lords, recently voted to keep women in the kitchen and out of the members' bar. That was last month's news. This month we have allegations that the cricket chiefs at Lords encouraged and paid for a receptionist to have an abortion, then sacked her anyway.

Even to those used to this paragon of decency, honesty and integrity treating women as second-class citizens, this latest episode appears to be . . . well . . . not quite cricket.

Theresa Harrild alleges that having been encouraged to have an abortion by a Lords official, she was subsequently given £400 in a brown envelope in order to pay for the termination procedure. And why would Lords go so far out of their way to help a women in a time of financial need? Well, because the father was an ambitious executive who worked on the third floor of the hallowed offices.

This week, the former receptionist stands to win a substantial payout after an industrial tribunal hit the establishment with a bouncer and found in her favour. The English Cricket Board (ECB) did not bother to turn up to the tribunal. They did, however, say they were "saddened that Theresa Harrild chose to make this extraordinary claim".