According to their advertising blurb, Sunderland "have a treat in store" for female fans next month when a special Ladies Day is to be staged at "The Stadium of Delight".
Quite apart from voting for "the most handsome player", attendees will also be able to judge the style and fashion sense of first-teamers. Granted, it sounds a cringe-inducing, anachronistic and downright sexist event, but it is surely ripe for hijacking by a male grooming company.
Perhaps aftershave could be sold to aspiring Premiership stars. Overlooking any physical imperfections, the real life "model" professionals would be labelled by footballer fault, thereby leaving "one-paced", "one-footed", "can't tackle", "always offside" and "lacks bottle" staring down from the billboards.
At least the last tag could never be attached to Mick McCarthy. If the distorted shape of the Sunderland manager's nose is testimony to his former on-field guts, he is now displaying the mental courage required to counter current wisdom and make recruits from lower divisions the nucleus of his radically remodelled team.
To managers who prefer scouting overseas and at Premiership reserve games, McCarthy's habit of shopping at places like Stockport, Dumbarton, Mansfield and Oxford is as dated as Sunderland's impending "ladies night", but two of his unglamorous acquisitions played key roles in undoing Palace.
Andy Welsh, a left-winger signed from Stockport for £15,000, was given his home debut and rewarded McCarthy with an excellent performance featuring a first-half equalising goal.
And Neill Collins, acquired from Dumbarton of the Scottish Second Division, looked a potentially better defender than the injured Gary Breen, the centre-half he was deputising for. True, he scored an own-goal, but, otherwise, he contained Andy Johnson, Palace's leading scorer, surprisingly well.
Sunderland confirmed their place in the fourth round thanks to a Marcus Stewart penalty converted after he met Welsh's fine pass and invited Fitz Hall to trip him.
Guardian Service