Bizarre stuff this. A turkey shoot that for 80 odd minutes produced absolutely no casualties. Eventually the South Americans took the points thanks to a fine strike by substitute Leider Preciado, but if the rest of the finishing had them rolling in the aisles at the Stade Mosson, it was nothing to the laughs served up when the managers got going afterwards.

"We're still confident," said Colombia's coach Hernan Dario Gomez, while his opposite number, Henry Kasperczak, offered: "We'll have to wait and see what happens tonight." Obviously these guys are resident on planet football right now, but it would be nice to think that they still retain a casual connection with planet earth, too. Clearly not.

It would, of course, have been asking rather a lot for the coaches to stroll into their respective post-match press conferences and announce: "Well that's it then lads, the next game's my last" (the way things are going Kasperczak may be lucky to make it to Friday's game with Romania), but it would surely take a remarkable turn of events for even the Colombians to make it out of Group G now.

Glenn Hoddle's side may possess something well short of greatness, but the South Americans yesterday showed themselves to be a team of quite stunning mediocrity, particularly at the back where scarcely a Tunisian set-piece went by without either Adel Sellimi or Mehdi Ben Slimane being gifted a free crack at goal.

It was much the same story at the other end. Carlos Valderrama may not be the player of a few years ago, but he still managed to create plenty of chances for the men in front of him. None was clear-cut enough for either Anthony De Avila or Adolfo Valencia, though, and after an hour of watching the pair strike the woodwork, fire hopelessly high or wide and, it should be said, force a few decent stops from Chokri El Ouaer, it was becoming difficult to imagine just what the pair required by way of service before they'd break the deadlock.

Faustino Asprilla was sent home for criticising the level of service from the team captain and Freddy Rincon, but he would surely have had his side well on top by the midway point in the second half.

In his absence, Valencia headed off the angle while El Ouaer produced sharp blocks to deprive his striking partner and Victor Aristizabal. Farid Mondragon was equally busy, pushing Ben Slimane's downward header onto the post. At one point, Mondragon almost caused his own undoing as his attempt to punch a corner clear struck Wilmer Cabrera and cannoned off the bar.

So many times had what appeared to be certain goals come to nothing that by the 84th minute a scoreless draw began to look like the only possible outcome. No sooner had that thought occurred when Preciado, standing up well under pressure from Clayton, slipped the ball, left-footed, just between the goalkeeper and his near post. Once again the goalkeeper got a touch but this time it just wasn't enough.

It may yet be the goal that turns Colombia's World Cup, but then, you'd hardly bet on it. In every area of the pitch they look poor and even Valderrama, his pace and stamina long gone, would have been an irrelevance against a better team.

Victory over the English certainly looks to be beyond them, although Glenn Hoddle would do well to keep his feet on the ground after that game for when they come to reflect on this tournament in the years ahead, progressing from this group will win nobody any plaudits - unless it leads on to something considerably greater.