McCarthy gives the press a lash

Strange world Mick McCarthy lives in. Alright for a holiday but you wouldn't like to live there, not like he does. Have to bring your umbrella with you, even on the sunniest days. Even the fiestas come with shadows of foreboding. With five points from three tricky World Cup qualifying games you'd think it would be all pina coladas and sombreros in the press conference room. Nah. It's caution and thin smiles and suspicious minds.

Mission accomplished Mick?

"Yes."

Pause. Pinteresque silence in fact.

Happy to have these three games out of the way?

"Well not having to listen to the sort of bullshit I've had to listen to for the last two months. Yes that makes me happy."

We media folk for whom there are no yesterdays look at him baffled. He's won. Can't we be forgiven. Can't we get back on board. Nothing doing.

"I was hoping for five points from these three games," Mick says. "I'm not sure that even me, ambitious, optimistic and arrogant as I am could have realistically hoped for it but five points is fantastic. The players deserve great credit for three terrific performances and for putting the green machine back on the road again. I think out there tonight the atmosphere was back."

We ask him an easy one, not a phone-a-friend or ask-the-audience one. We need to coddle him a bit.

"Were you pleased with the number of chances we created?["] (Note tactical use of word we). He gets his tackle in first though. "Well the other question you always ask is were you disappointed in how few of our chances we converted. Craig Brown said they were the hardest team he had ever come up against in terms of how difficult they were to break down. That would be about right. You need your best players playing well, being quick and creative. They were tough. Poom played well. They were well organised. Their defenders played very well but 2-0 wins the game. That's what I said to the lads with 10 minutes left. 2-0 wins. Don't do anything silly."

2-0. Two-nil. The goals keep coming. This being a campaign during which Ireland have disdained to score goals unless they are beautiful goals, the team eschewed several adequate chances until Niall Quinn killed the ball on his chest and let it drop 'dead at his feet as playfully as boy juggling on the copacobana. He tickled it a bit with his foot, let us think that he might swivel and go himself and then stroked it into the path of Mark Kinsella whose reward for several games worth of unfussy hard work was a goal of stunning simplicity. One nil. No sambas but still sand between our toes.

Then Richard Dunne appeared to use undue force likely to endanger bystanders in lashing a two-yarder home.

Mick McCarthy is unexcited by all this. He describes the execution of both goals in matter of fact terms. All in the line of duty . . .

"Mark has what 19 caps or so. I said to him during the week it's time for you to score a goal. Same with Kilbane, same with Duffer. You can't just keep playing, you need to come through with goals for the team. Robbie scored in Holland and has been asked to play deep a lot. The responsibility can't always be on his shoulders and on Quinny's shoulders. People have to chip in."

He talks about his players with his customary caution. Kilbane: "He's exciting isn't he. They had to put somebody else over there to help their full back. I'd love to have seen Kevin score." Quinn: "Quinny has been fantastic. He's such an asset, such a threat. He and Robbie have a great understanding."

Duff: "Duffer was great in Portugal but it would have been remiss to drop Jason. Jason is pass and pass. Duffer goes past people. When they were a bit tired I thought they wouldn't like to see Duffer coming at them."

We invite him to comment on "his captain." Was his captain back to his best tonight?

"Don't think Roy has been away from that. That's his level. That's his standard. I don't think he has dropped below that. Everyone out there knows they can give him the ball. He has that calm authority."

Were you urging him to score, we ask gushing a bit.

"I daren't shout at Roy from the dugout or everyone will think I've fallen out with him," says Mick, and moves to close us down for the night "Overall I'm pleased." he says in his over and out voice.

Three games. Five points. Louis Van Gaal should be so lucky. Cheer up Mick!