Lithuanian beauty fills Vinny's cup of joy to the brim

AGAINST THE ODDS: The company proves a bonus for our hero as his beloved Bohemians complete the double.

TO VINNY Fitzpatrick, the RDS meant hot August afternoons with his dad, Finbarr, at the Dublin Horseshow to see Capt Raimondo d'Inzeo, Harvey Smith, Eddie Macken, Pele, Boomerang and the Aga Khan Trophy.

His late aul' fellah loved the gee-gees and summers in the 1970s always included a trip to Ballsbridge to mingle with the the high society horsey set.

Last Sunday, as he prepared for a return visit to the RDS for the first time in 30 years, the smells, scents and sights of those childhood trips came flooding back to Vinny.

"Please Bohs, don't have four faults today," he said to himself on FAI Cup final morning.

Vinny's love for Bohs derived from his late grandfather, Walter Charles Fitzpatrick, a crusty curmudgeon known irreverently as WC, who had refused to allow his family attend the 1970 final in protest at Bohs turning professional the previous year.

Still, Vinny had been there for the Cup wins in 1976, '92 and '01 - match-winners Niall Shelley, Dave Tilson and Tony O'Connor were enshrined in his sporting Hall of Fame - and he was there, too, when Bohs lost the finals of '82 and '83.

On this bitterly cold day, Vinny was glad to have Fran for company but was surprised to see two other bodies, both female, arrive with his old friend on the platform of Clontarf Road train station.

One he recognised as Darina, a Polish girl whom Fran had fallen for when she'd come to work in his launderette, Bubbles On The Bull. The other lady, tall and wrapped up, al mufti, he didn't recognise.

"Vinny, you know Darina, of course, and this is her friend, Petra, who is also working with us now. She's from Vilnius and is a fan of Mindaugas Kalonas, the Bohs player. You don't mind her coming, do you?" said Fran.

Vinny grunted a half-hearted hello as the Dart rolled to a stop and the four stepped on board.

Inside, the heaters were on full blast in the carriage and coats, hats and scarves were soon discarded, allowing Vinny a closer look at Petra. She was a stunner.

Her blonde mane tumbled over her shoulders, framing cobalt-blue eyes, high cheekbones, full lips and perfect teeth.

"Just as well I'm spoken for," thought Vinny as the 15-minute ride to the RDS took them through Amiens Street, Tara Street, Westland Row and Lansdowne Road where, Vinny noted, the new space-age stadium was coming on apace.

As Petra stood up at the Sandymount stop, Vinny noted she had bumps in all the right places too. He wasn't alone. Behind him, he heard a wolf whistle followed by "she's a fine thing", in a flat Dublin accent.

On the short walk up to the RDS, Darina hooked arms with Fran for support while Vinny and Petra shot a glance at one another and kept a respectable distance apart. Inside the RDS, the quartet took their positions on the uncovered stand among Bohs fans behind one of the goals - always the best place to watch a game, even in mid-winter.

As the wind whistled about their ears, eyes watering and noses running, Vinny produced a hip-flask of fine malt whiskey, which he passed around his companions who took a liberal sip each. "Right," he said. "Let's get behind the lads."

What followed was two hours of a rollicking rollercoaster ride. Derry had the better opening 20 minutes, but Bohs finished the first half stronger, even though they were playing into the wind.

"We'll batter them in the second half," said Vinny as the flask was handed around a second time. The girls, he noted, were not put out by the rapier-like wind, the stinging rain which fell like shrapnel, or the piercing cold. If anything, they seemed exhilarated as they joined in the Bohs' chants. "They breed them tough in the Baltics," thought Vinny.

If the first half had been good, what followed was exhilarating. Derry went in front - "Jaysus we're banjaxed," moaned Vinny - only for Bohs to equalise, and then, incredibly, go in front.

Kalonas had been involved for both goals, prompting Petra to give it loads, Vinny observed.

Feeling the firewater course through his veins, the portly 50-year-old bus driver bellowed out, "We are the B, O, the B, O, H, S," proudly lifting his tattered, red-and-black scarf high in the dark November sky.

But the joy was short-lived as Derry scored again, right under the noses of Vinny and Co. "That's wojious defending," he cried.

Before extra-time Fran produced a hip flask of brandy which was gulped down readily by all, and Vinny recalled how the chef in the Titanic had been plucked alive from the icy Atlantic thanks to the high level of alcohol in his system. "The more I drink, the less I'll feel the cold," he thought.

The final half hour was a cliff-hanger as both teams had chances but the 'keepers pulled off brilliant saves. "I fancy us in penalties. Our man Murphy is the best in the league," said Vinny, before pausing as Petra planted a bottle into his hand.

"Drink this, it will make you feel good," she said, eyes shining.

Vinny sipped the clear liquid - it was neat vodka which burned the back of his throat before hitting his stomach like a juggernaut. "Petra, that's magnificent," he spluttered.

The penalty shoot-out unfolded.

"What odds, Murphy saves two?" asked Vinny.

"I'll give you three to one," replied Fran.

"Right, I'll have a score."

The first five penalties were converted, but then Murphy saved; then he saved again. Vinny was quids in as the next Bohs player - Kalonas - stepped up to the plate but he couldn't care less. This was for the Cup, the bloody Cup.

Petra couldn't bear to watch, and buried her head in Vinny's shoulder as Kalonas placed the ball, ran up and speared a fierce shot into the top corner.

"Yeeeessssss, you Lithuanian beauty," roared Vinny as he grabbed Petra and gave her a bus driver's bear-hug special.

A rake of drinks later, the last Dart pulled in at Clontarf Road and the cup-final party broke up. Fran said he'd see Darina home, leaving Petra and Vinny tottering together by the main road.

"Vincent, you are very sweet, and you like your drink and your football. That is good in a man," said Petra. "Tell me, when you said 'Lithuanian beauty' at the match, did you mean Kalonas or did you mean me?"

Vinny blinked as he looked up at the Baltic babe towering over him. She was half his age, twice his height, all body parts in perfect mechanical order, could hold her drink and loved football.

"Petra, me old segotia," he said. "I'll tell you what I meant over a large bag of chips and a couple of onion rings."

With that, he steered his statuesque companion towards the Capri chipper.

Vinny's Bismarck:3pts Lay Schalke to beat Manchester City in Uefa Cup (evens, liability 3pts)

Bets of the week:1pt e/w Royal County Star in Hennessy Gold Cup (25/1, Sporting Bet)

1pt e/w Italy in World Cup of Golf (33/1, Paddy Power)