In the paranoid environment of Old Trafford writing a book, as Jaap Stam could testify, can be more trouble than it is worth, but that has not stopped Alex Ferguson from starting the official story of his final year in office. Given the s' season so far, an adaptation of Colin Schindler's work might be appropriate. Manchester United Ruined My Retirement certainly has a nice ring to it.
Ferguson was obliged under UEFA guidelines yesterday to break his policy of omerta and renew acquaintances with the media ahead of tonight's Champions League encounter at home to Boavista and it felt as though he had never been away.
In other words he refused to answer questions he did not like, lost his temper with a couple of journalists and glowered at anyone who mentioned United's troublesome form.
Thank goodness then for the honesty of Roy Keane. "The club is going through a bad time," he said bluntly. "Sometimes you think you are going along nicely and then you come unstuck. The players are as determined as ever, I'm convinced of that, but we're well aware we're not playing well. The quality is not there in our passing and movement. It's not a nice situation and the manager, the staff and the fans deserve better.
"Things aren't going well and teams are capitalising on the mistakes we keep making. You can analyse these things all day long but talk is cheap and we have to do something about it out there on the pitch where it matters."
Keane also insisted yesterday that he has never felt happier at Old Trafford following reports he could leave the English champions for Scottish counterparts Celtic. "I can reassure the fans that personally speaking I've never been happier at the club. I'm determined to turn things round."
When Keane talks, it is worth listening. No one has criticised United's form more vehemently over the past year or so, but he has always been objective.
Just compare his intelligent remarks with Ferguson's. Had the manager approached anything differently in training? "Why should I?" How could the team eradicate their defensive problems? "We're not getting into that." Why have things been so problematic? "And we're not getting into that. That's enough." The pantomime season is up and running in Manchester.
Ruud van Nistelrooy, at £19.5 million sterling, has been as erratic as anyone, but deserves sympathy for being asked to hold up the ball as a solitary striker.
Juan Sebastian Veron's arrival in midfield, for £28.1 million, has left Paul Scholes brimming with indignation rather than inspiration and now the Argentine himself is struggling.
"We're all in this together," said Keane. "There is a danger the expectations can be too high with new players. It's not fair on them.
"I said when they arrived that it was important to judge them after a long period of time rather than week in week out."
MANCHESTER UNITED (probable, 4-1-4-1): Barthez; G Neville, Brown, Blanc, P Neville; Keane, Beckham, Scholes, Veron, Fortune; Van Nistelrooy.
BOAVISTA (probable, 4-1-2-3): Ricardo; Frechaut, Pedro Emanuel, Paulo Turra, Erivan; Jorge Silva; Petit, Sanchez; Alexandre Goulart, Duda, Martelinho.
Referee: A Nieto (Spain).
