We have noted, with increasing unease, the number of kiss-and-tell stories appearing in the English tabloids recently, relating to football stars. The latest victim was Derby County goalkeeper Russell Hoult, whose "former mistress" Kim Henstock revealed all to the News of the World last week.

"His friends nicknamed him `Hot Dog'," said Kim, "and when he took off his trousers I could see why". We'd like to tell you what Derby fans chanted at Russell, during Saturday's game against Newcastle, but common decency prevents us from doing so. But you can probably guess the gist of it.