Galaxy quest: Becks' loyalty called into question

ALL IN THE GAME: A soccer miscellany

THERE was a rather angry article on the ESPN website about David Beckham’s contribution – or lack of it – to LA Galaxy since he joined them in 2007, the author reckoning that despite earning €23 million over five years “Beckham’s primary loyalty is to himself”.

In that time, he has played just 50 games for the Galaxy (hardly helped by injuries), “or barely 40 per cent of the total minutes he could have played since joining the club”. And his decision to turn up a month late for the Galaxy training camp, instead opting to stay in London and train with Spurs, didn’t go down too well either.

He does, though, have one last season in America, so hopefully he can be an ever-present in the team and make it up to them.

Wait. "It's a huge thing for our country to have a royal wedding," Beckham told the LA Timeswhen describing his delight at receiving an invitation to the Big Do.

“I’m a big royal family fan, always have been. I was brought up by my grandparents and my parents to love the royal family.”

Will he be attending the wedding? “We’ll have to wait and see,” he said.

If he does, he’d most likely miss Galaxy’s game against Dallas.

And with that the ESPN man’s head exploded.

A chilling image: Robbie and Frank share a deep freeze

IF Robbie Keane isn’t fit enough to play in next month’s Euro 2012 qualifier against Macedonia, it won’t be for the lack of trying.

In fact, his efforts so far have been positively chilling, in a surreal kind of way.

In the hope of speeding up his recovery from his calf injury, West Ham sent Keane and team-mate Jack Collison (knee injury) in to an ice chamber, like you do.

Collison: “Robbie and I had to sit in the chamber at minus 140 degrees for five minutes at a time.

“We had to share the chamber with boxer Frank Bruno.

“It was great to meet him, but he made us look really weak.

“He was in there doing all kinds of exercises and Robbie and I just sat there trying to keep warm.”

It’ll be a while before the image of that scene fades.

A long while.

Pandiani slow to forgive

IT’S a few weeks now since Osasuna’s Walter Pandiani had a run-in or two with Cristiano Ronaldo during a La Liga game, the Uruguayan alleging that the Portuguese lad boasted about how much money he earned compared to Pandiani.

The Osasuna striker wasn’t best pleased, not only suggesting that Ronaldo could learn some humility (and dribbling skills) from Lionel Messi, but also that he is “missing a screw”.

Done and dusted?

Well, no, Pandiani is refusing to let this one go.

Last week: “It bothers me to see someone say such things having come from a small island as poor as the one he has left,” he said, fondly, of Madeira.

“In my country he might have had to make an appointment with the dentist after a situation like that.”

Welcome back

FEBRUARY 22nd: "I regret it a lot . . . I hope it has not tarnished me with the fans."

Marseilles’ Gabriel Heinze hoping for a warm reception from Manchester United fans during last week’s Champions League game, despite a rancorous departure from the club after he demanded he be allowed join Liverpool.

February 23rd:"You Scouse b*****d."

Manchester United fans’ warm reception for Gabriel Heinze every time he touched the ball during last week’s Champions League game.

Stijn stung

IF you’re a footballer and you’ve lost your place in the team to another player, what’s the obvious thing to do?

Train harder?

Slap in a transfer request?

Go on strike?

Well, you could do any of those things – but you certainly shouldn’t go on the internet and rubbish the fella who’s taken your place, while talking glowingly about yourself.

And in fairness to Stijn Stijnen, he didn’t do that – alas, though, his brother and girlfriend did.

Calling themselves “Frigo” and “Piop”, the pair signed up for an FC Brugge fans’ website where they described Stijnen as a “hero”, “wonderful” and “top”, among other nice things.

His rival for the goalie’s shirt? “A very weak game by (Geert) De Vlieger . . . a very average goalkeeper who has committed serious blunders in the past weeks.”

They also had a go at two new officials appointed by the club, describing them as “lightweights” with a “total lack of personality”.

Somehow, poor Stijn, a former Belgian international, got blamed for the comments and was dropped to the reserves for “damaging the interests and image” of the club. But then the brother and girlfriend owned up. All sorted?

Not quite.

Brugge announced they and Stijn were parting company, with “immediate effect”, with four years still left on his contract.

A very average brother and girlfriend who have committed serious blunders, you might say.

Rooney hung, drawn and quartered: but not at the hands of those nice Gadafy boys

"I have had a chance to see it, there is nothing in it. But, what will happen . . . because it's Wayne Rooney, the press will raise a campaign to get him hung by Tuesday or electrocuted or something like that."

– Alex Ferguson on Rooney being placed on death row after (allegedly) elbowing James McCarthy in the face.

"Gadafy is a great bloke. The media only show the bad things. I used to go round his house. His son's a super simple guy. All the Gadafys were very down to earth."

– Uruguayan goalkeeper Luis de Agustini, who went on to play for Libya, tells all those protesters to chill a bit, Muammar and his boys are the salt of the earth.

"A coach has to adjust the game to the players you have, especially when you buy a player for €70 million. You don't buy him to watch the birds on the trees."

– It's six months since he left Barcelona, but Zlatan Ibrahimovic still has Pep Guardiola on his mind.

"It's Jesus being carried by three cherubs and obviously the cherubs are my boys and so my thought of it is that at some point my boys are going to need to look after me and that's what they're doing in the picture. It means a lot."

– David Beckham on his latest tattoo. Behave.

"There's 37,000 of them in that stadium, I'd have returned with a swollen face from 37,000 slaps."

– AC Milan's Rino Gattuso, Joe Jordan's buddy, on the reception he'd get at White Hart Lane for next month's Champions League game, if he wasn't suspended.

What a waist: Newcastle fans can show just how much they love their club

YOU KNOW that Newcastle supporter who is shown regularly on telly at matches, the topless fella who has "NUFC" tattooed across his rather substantial tummy?

Well, if you always dreamt of looking just like Keith "Beefy" Roberts then you need dream no more – just read on: "Beefy is one of Newcastle United's biggest fans – literally – and now other supporters can copy his match day look," the club's website declared.

"The 48-year-old is recognisable at every game due to his refusal to wear a shirt, and instead show off his 23-stone frame and NUFC tattoo which stretches across his gut.

And so famous is Beefy's look that United have made T-shirts of the infamous sight, which supporters can buy at all the official club stores and online at www.nufc.co.uk, priced £14 (€16.50)."

Honest, we haven't made this up.

.22

That's the calibre of air rifle Ashley Cole used to accidentally shoot a student on work experience at Chelsea's training ground. Hey, these things happen.

Ronaldo takes it on the run: Brazil star wore nappies

NATURALLY ENOUGH, there were plenty of warm tributes paid to the Brazilian Ronaldo after he announced his retirement from football. (Mind you, Chechen club Terek Grozny are said to have offered him €6 million for an 18-month contract so don't say goodbye just yet).

Former Brazilian coach Vanderlei Luxemburgo chimed in too, although we'd hazard a guess Ronaldo could have done without him reminiscing quite so vividly.

"Ronaldo was overweight coming into the 1999 Copa America so we tried to help him lose a few kilos. The doctor prescribed him with something called Xenical which was effective but accelerated evacuations.

"Therefore, to avoid incidents he was forced to wear nappies. El Fenomeno had complained a lot about having to play in these conditions but let me remind everyone that he scored goals like he always did and went on to be top scorer in the tournament which we won."