Bribes in cricket, knee ligaments in Eindhoven, Joe Swail in Sheffield: these aside, British sport has talked of little else but the weather this past seven days. With Murrayfield under three feet of water and every racecourse from Plumpton to Perth rained off, there was good cause for all the blather. But when it mattered, on Saturday, the sun came out. Suddenly even Murrayfield was playable. That is the way it should be. As April turns into May, one of the great pleasures of the season becomes available: leaving football grounds in sunlight. The timing also means that the stadium just left has usually staged a game of real significance. And people respond. There were over 15,000 at Burnley on Saturday, over 19,000 at Preston, almost 8,000 at Shrewsbury and nearly 11,000 at Swansea.
At Brunton Park there were, to be precise, 6,525, which was, quite comfortably, Carlisle United's largest crowd of the season. It was Carlisle's last home game. The sun shone before and after. Pity about the football in between. Everything around the bruising 10 bells of a scrap between Carlisle and Darlington was more entertaining than the match itself. The final whistle, for instance. It signalled the second pitch invasion of the afternoon. It was a threatening one this time around, Darlington's players having to suffer the posturing machismo of a couple of hundred frustrated locals. For a moment it appeared Darlington's isolated goalkeeper, Andy Collett, might be the victim of an ugly ambush.
This in turn provoked the Darlington manager, David Hodgson, to enter the field of play to defend his players. "If someone's going to smack one of my players, I'm going to smack them back," Hodgson declared a few minutes later. Hodgson added that he was past the stress stage now. Really, he is.
The mood of sourness continued for a few minutes yet. When the Darlington squad emerged for their post-match warm-down, the Brunton Park groundsman ordered them off the pitch. Gruffly. One Darlington forward did not take kindly to this and replied: "If you don't shut up, I'll knock your f***ing head off." A stand-off ensued before the groundsman got on his mini-tractor and sped off. Professional football, it's all glamour.
Sunshine and tension are what it's all about this time of year. Manchester United may have neutered the Premiership, but below stairs some fierce sport is occurring. This weekend it will climax. No fewer than 28 out of the 72 English Football League clubs enter this weekend with a mixture of fear and gloating. From Manchester City to Shrewsbury, it has gone to the final day.
Make no mistake, the football will resemble rugby, but if it's electricity that's required, then get wired up to events at Ewood Park (Blackburn v Man City), Portman Road (Ipswich v Walsall, promotion and relegation), or, at the other end of the scale, to Brighton, Chester and Exeter.
The latter three venues will stage the worst football no doubt. At Exeter, Shrewsbury Town, 92nd in Division Three, need to win merely to prolong hope and their 50-year existence as a Football League club. Shrewsbury will then depend on Chester either drawing or losing at home to Peterborough (play-off place secured) or Carlisle doing the same at Brighton (nothing to play for). Two points adrift, Shrewsbury's only advantage is their superior goal difference. It could count.
Kidderminster Harriers, managed by Jan Molby, have been promoted from the Conference already and, presumably, will not care whom they replace. The club going down will look at last season's fallers, Scarborough, see them 14 points behind Kidderminster and think a quick return is no formality.
They will look at Scarborough's growing financial plight, too, and flinch, and also at the memory of last year's final day when Scarborough thought they had survived by drawing 1-1 with Peterborough. There were celebrations on the pitch until the news came through that an on-loan goalkeeper called Jimmy Glass had scored a 90th-minute winner for Carlisle against Plymouth. Premature jubilation should be banned.
Yet they were at it again in Carlisle on Saturday, until 10 minutes from the end when the sixth goalkeeper since Glass departed, Peter Keen, was beaten by Darlington's Glenn Naylor. Cue fresh agony. Three Carlisle points and this weekend would not have mattered. In the directors' box, Carlisle chairman Michael Knighton was the subject of renewed abuse. In the past fortnight Knighton has offered the club to the local council for £1. They declined, as Knighton had inserted a "more to follow later" payment clause. All agreed, though, that it is imperative for the town that Carlisle survive as a league club. Those in Shrewsbury, Chester and Scarborough would concur.
It's desperation week. Temperature's soaring.