Be afraid, very afraid. Next time you approach your bank's cash machine to withdraw money, be prepared to see your local primary teacher swinging a sledgehammer at the dispenser in search of same.
According to Senator Joe O'Toole, the INTO general secretary, this desperate measure may be needed if the "ATM machine", as he describes the new benchmarking process, does not pay out. "Then it is time to take out a sledgehammer," he told the union's annual conference.
With thousands of primary teachers potentially taking to the streets bearing hammers, the conference wondered if the Minister, Dr Woods, would be scared to stick his head above the parapet.
But speaking to the press about the genuinely hostile reception awaiting him at the ASTI conference, Dr Woods said: "I grew up on the streets, and I am able for these things. Just because I am polite does not mean I am not used to these things." He said the neighbourhood he grew up in north Dublin was so tough even Roddy Doyle had written about it.
A leaflet given to delegates outside the conference hall said that, apart from the danger of random acts of vandalism on ATMs, there were other problems. "Some ATM processors are private-sector-driven and subject to strict fiscal parameters," said the leaflet from the Teachers United group, which opposes benchmarking.
The leaflet said Senator O'Toole's ATM card was supposed to give teachers a "free lunch", but there was "no preview of the menu". While the card was heavy enough to crush the morale of some ASTI members, the strike by secondary teachers was "responsible for significant added benefits for INTO card-holders!"
But Senator O'Toole was talking tough, too, and said he would not be found wanting if the cash was not forthcoming from the benchmarking process. "We will hold the line on benchmarking, but if it does not deliver, there will be outright war, there is nothing surer than that," he told the conference, to loud applause.
Before any extreme measures were needed, however, Senator O'Toole said the slightly safer option of a strike was still open to INTO's 27,000 members. But with benchmarking taking at least 18 months, what would they strike about? Facilities for special needs pupils, teacher shortages and school funding, he told the conference. "We need to keep the wheels oiled, as it were," he said.
So "three strikes and you're out" for Dr Woods, but the Minister responded calmly and maybe a little downbeat when he started the section of his speech on pay with "There is another area which may be of concern to some of you".
This brought peals of laughter from the delegates who have followed closely the ASTI's five-month strike. When they got their turn to speak after Senator O'Toole and Dr Woods, the banking theme was continued.
One delegate said ATMs never gave out notes lower than £20, while another said you needed the correct card to get any money. Another said you had to be careful because ATMs could swallow your card, and it was a long time before you got another chance to make a withdrawal. The conference broke for the day with many delegates going to play a round of golf in Killorglin, sponsored by none other than Bank of Ireland.