Sir, - Stanley Kubrick's rendering of Sir Arthur C. Clarke's 2001 - A Space Odyssey is destined shortly to become vieux jeu. It would appear that its place in the annals of science fiction movies is to be taken by the new blockbuster 2011 - Luas and Beyond; a mind-boggling epic based on the struggle of the Minister of (Starship) Enterprise to get her mortally wounded craft off the ground, whilst fighting off the Klingons of Iarnrod Eireann, armed with deadly rails of clapped-out Sligo track.
This lavish production, directed by James Cameron (of Terminator and Titanic fame), is currently filming on location in Dublin and features a huge cast of advisory bodies, initiative groups, working parties and other breathtaking special effects. Despite the fact that the production is way over budget, and is dogged by interminable delays, it is understood that when it is released it will be a nice little earner. As a gesture of goodwill, DTI is expected to erect giant screens in Dublin's city centre so that gridlocked motorists will be able to watch 2011 free of charge.
Beam me up, Scotty. - Yours, etc., Eamon Sweeney,
Dartry,
Dublin 6.