History of Ireland in 100 excuses

A chara, – 158. System failure. 159. If someone had told me what was going on with the banks... 160

A chara, – 158. System failure. 159. If someone had told me what was going on with the banks . . . 160. There might have been an envelope . . . 161. Unverified Twitter account. 162. The Shinners. 163. West Brits. 164. The media. 165. Bad planning. 166. Bad blood. 167. In my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see . . . 168. An over-reliance on fitness. 169. An empty stomach. 170. I didn't have my phone on me. 171. I had my phone on silent. 172. My battery died. 173. Cowboys. 174. The Late Late Show. 175. The demise of the rosary. 176. Foreign notions. 177. Being too smart. 178. Having all the answers. 179.Whatever move I made. 180. BOD on the bench. 181. A lack of undersoil heating . . . wait that's not us, that's the French. 182. Relying on the French. – Is mise,

JOHN ROGERS,

Main Street,

Mohill, Co Leitrim.

Sir, – 183. The expense claims fully complied with the regulations. 184. It was genuine misunderstanding and sure the money has been paid back now anyway. 185. Mental reservation. – Yours, etc,

PAT KENNEDY,

Hayestown,

Navan, Co Meath.

Sir, – 186. I must have got a bad pint somewhere. 187. You can’t trust the whiskey once you cross the Shannon. 188. I’d a feeling that pub was bugged. 189. I’d have bought him a pint, but he’d enough already. 190. Sure, didn’t the barman provoke me. – Yours, etc,

SÉAMUS PHELAN,

Montrose Crescent,

Artane,

Dublin 5.

Sir, – 191. A uniquely Irish oxymoron: ’twas a square ball. – Yours,etc,

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WILLIAM PRENDIVILLE,

OSA,

O’Connell Street, Limerick.

Sir, – 192. It was all in Irish. – Yours, etc,

MÍCHEAL Mac AONGHUSA,

Sráid Reuben, BÁC 8.

Sir, – 193. “The Bridge was up Sir” (De La Salle College, Waterford 1954, lads from Mooncoin, on being late in the morning) – Yours, etc,

BRENDAN WALSH,

Castle Park, Dublin 14.

Sir, – 194. He fell in with a wrong crowd. 195. He’s not the same man in drink. 196. He was never the same since the mother’s will. – Yours, etc,

JOHN HEALY,

Pound Road,

Castlebar, Co Mayo.

Sir, – 197. That would be an ecumenical matter! (from Father Ted). – Yours, etc,

JIM MacNAMARA,

Crodaun Forest Park,

Celbridge,

Co Kildare.

Sir, – 198. Compulsory Irish. 199. The indomitable Irishry. 200. That b****y iceberg! – Yours, etc,

DONAL KENNEDY,

Belmont Avenue,

London, England.

Sir, – 201. The dog ate my Anglo subordinated bonds. – Yours, etc,

PAUL TIERNEY,

Ballinamult, Co Waterford.

Sir, – 202. Client confidentiality. 203. Patient confidentiality. 204. Cabinet confidentiality. – Yours, etc,

JAMES CARROLL,

Ballymany Mews,

Newbridge, Co Kildare.

Sir, – 205. Wayne Barnes. – Yours, etc,

MICHAEL KEEGAN,

South Avenue,

Mount Merrion, Co Dublin.

Sir, – 206. My adviser would be paid a lot more in the private sector, where his services are very much in demand. – Yours, etc,

JAMES GAFFNEY,

Rosehill,

O’Callaghan Strand, Limerick.

Sir, – 207. It was the concrete strike that caused it. 208. Decimalisation. – Yours, etc,

MICHAEL NORRIS,

Kilgobnet,

Dungarvan, Co Waterford.

Sir, – 209. The internet banking version of No 124 (cheque in the post, February 11th) – Well, it left our account yesterday. 210. We’ve made this decision based on the advice of the attorney general. – Yours, etc,

RAY CRAWFORD,

Strand Road,

Portmarnock,

Co Dublin.

Sir, – 211. That’s what the recipe said! –   Yours, etc,

ANNE CAHILL,

Laurel Park,

Clondalkin, Dublin 22.