Sir, – Anois teacht an Earraig, one of my first acts each morning is to look for the quickening morning sun, by peering through the gauntly reticulate lattice of the Sentinel Tower, installed in our Stillorgan-Sandyford landscape some years ago by Mr Fleming from west Cork.
I saw nothing but grey this morning, so I was interested when my post included two Dáil Éireann harped envelopes, each containing a Fine Gael emblazoned letter from Peter Mathews TD on that very structure. He informed me that he had written to Dun Laoghaire-Rathdown County Council to demand that the tower be dealt with in a number of ways, one of which was that it be “covered by a canapé”.
Notwithstanding my own excessive interest in culinary products, I cannot imagine that such a cover would enhance my morning view. Moreover, no matter how judiciously the ingredients might be selected, I fear that the entire seagull population of the North Atlantic and its adjoining seas would feast upon it, and deposit the waste products of their gorging into the nearby Stillorgan Reservoir. In fact, it might be better to cover the reservoir with the canapé, so that the tower might be covered with guano. – Yours, etc,