Sir, – Kathy Sheridan asks for some relaxation of the ban on eulogies at Catholic funerals (”Treatment at family funeral showed how Catholic Church just keeps scoring own goals “, Opinion & Analysis, June 22nd).
At the 2009 funeral Mass for Senator Edward Kennedy at the Our Lady of Perpetual Help Basilica in Boston, there were three eulogies, including one from President Barack Obama.
Participating in Kennedy’s funeral rites were two cardinals and priests from many dioceses. Cardinal Sean P O’Malley of Boston presided at the funeral, and Cardinal Theodore E McCarrick presided at the burial.
Msgr Anthony Sherman, executive director of the Secretariat of Divine Worship of the US Conference of Catholic Bishops, said Kennedy’s funeral was well within the guidelines of the church’s Order of Christian Funerals.
:quality(70)/cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/TTO7HMQ7RVHRBITMD7JZENAIDQ.jpg)
:quality(70):focal(2583x1132:2593x1142)/cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/GASM5Z65Z5CJDMIR5VZC75YIPU.jpg)
:quality(70)/cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/FBVCYVSLX5CENNTOQV32QOQJK4.jpg)
:quality(70):focal(338x317:348x327)/cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/ZBDYPPUEDBADFN2LDGQJPHKS5Y.jpeg)
“It was basically a regular Catholic funeral,” he said. Adding that the eulogies by Kennedy’s sons and by President Barack Obama were appropriate and did not overshadow the liturgical emphasis on prayer for the deceased. The whole service is available on YouTube.
Perhaps the Irish hierarchy could have a word with their American cousins. – Yours, etc,
Dr JOHN DOHERTY,
Gaoth Dobhair,
Co Dhún na nGall.
A chara, – I can understand Kathy Sheridan’s reaction to her experience at the two funerals which she described. At a sensitive time of bereavement, we would hope that people find a positive response.
Often it may be the manner in which one is received rather than “hidebound rules”. It occurs not just in church-related situations. I am in my late 70s. I have experienced a dismissive attitude from bank officials, medical consultants, retail staff, politicians, journalists, clergy (I am a Catholic priest), and others. But almost all of these are exceptions. I may not be aware of what pressures the other person may be experiencing which may lie behind their words or actions. Sometimes their expectations are simply unrealistic. In the great majority of cases, I find people pleasant and helpful. On occasions when I am aware that I may have offended someone by word or deed, I try to rectify it. If I am unaware, I can only hope they will forgive.
In the case of funerals, meeting people beforehand to discuss the details can help avoid difficult situations. Sometimes it doesn’t. When a person comes to the microphone at a funeral, the arrangements discussed may be forgotten; it is difficult to dislodge a speaker going on too long or making inappropriate remarks without causing offence. Something similar can occur at weddings, causing embarrassment or offence.
No organisation (including a church) composed of human beings has a monopoly on causing offence. We can only hope that we can learn from the events Kathy Sheridan describes. To err is human; to forgive, divine. And being human is not something to apologise for, but to treasure. – Is mise,
PÁDRAIG McCARTHY,
Sandyford,
Dublin 16.
Sir, – My mother Peggy Curran celebrated her 92nd birthday last Friday. Having decided to donate her body to science when the time comes she was concerned at missing the celebration of her life party and insisted we have a “Joie de Vivre” party when she was still alive so she could hear the fulsome praise. Yes, there was even a eulogy starting with those immortal words: “We gather here to celebrate the life of Margaret, aka Peggy, Curran”, read by her grandson Luke Morgan. The piece was titled “Pegxit”.
Now is the time to eulogise our elderly. Celebrate their ongoing lives with them rather than just singing their praises after they pass on. – Yours, etc,
DAVID CURRAN,
Knocknacarra,
Galway.
Sir, – I attended the funeral of a dear family friend in Dardistown crematorium and I was overwhelmed by it. A humanist celebrant facilitated the celebration of his life. It was all about him – his children spoke, sang. There was music, laughter, of course some tears. The husband, father, brother, friend – all were there. The packed congregation was totally engaged, remembering and recognising this man, throughout all the stages of his life.
When my own husband died a couple of years later we too went to Dardistown. Our children and grandchildren spoke of the man they knew and deeply loved.
The service ended with a choir of all 13 of his grandchildren singing as his coffin moved into the crematorium.
Funerals that publicly acknowledged the lives they’d lived. – Yours, etc,
JOAN HANNON,
Dublin 9.