Gogarty's Duck

Oliver St John Gogarty was "bowling along in a bus towards that Fairyland, Connemara" when he addressed a few words about the…

Oliver St John Gogarty was "bowling along in a bus towards that Fairyland, Connemara" when he addressed a few words about the bad weather to a fellow passenger. "Ah," the other replied, "it isn't this time of year at all." And that is the title Gogarty gave to a book published in 1954, described as "An Unpremeditated Autobiography". It lightens up these dark, stormy days. Story after story of the great of his time and the not so great. Some of the anecdotes, as Denis Johnson said, you might take with a grain of salt, but they sparkle.

Thus, an exchange of letters with Sir Horace Plunkett, in the latter's role as president of the Royal Irish Automobile Club. Plunkett wrote that a letter had been passed on to him alleging that "on Tuesday evening last, at dusk you drove at an alarming speed through the village of Cabinteely and ran over a duck just outside the village in the direction of Dublin. You failed to stop, and, to all accounts and appearances, took no notice whatsoever of the accident . . . as we motorists are a small group [this was about 1914] who depend on the goodwill of the public, it is but common sense not to arouse any ill feelings either by speeding or ignoring any accidents which may ensure." There is more in the same vein. The owner of the duck was one John Nolan.

After some thought, Gogarty wrote: "Dear Mr President, I have killed John Nolan's duck twice. On the third occasion when the opportunity was presented to me I refused to be an accessory before or after the death. The first time was about a week ago. The duck crossed the road and flew, with the greatest reluctance, under my wheels. It was pulled by a string which, when I got out of the car to discuss the `accident', had disappeared. I gave the aggrieved owner, a surly fellow, one pound, which is about five times the price of a duck. The second accident took place the following evening. This time I found the string. The duck was dead when I killed it. I pointed this out to the owner who refused to give me his address . . . Pulling a dead duck across the public highway may not be an offence in the eyes of the law, but it is surely a matter for the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. May I point out that as you drive frequently on the Bray Road you yourself are in imminent danger of killing John Nolan's duck, in spite of the fact that rigor mortis must have set in." (Later he decides not to send that letter but one less impertinent).