By taking responsibility for the 'wrong' people, we are facing up to our civic duties and taking our commitment to the true spirit of Christmas seriously, writes Sr Stanislaus Kennedy
With its excess spending, excess drink, excess speed on the roads, excess tension and aggression, Christmas can bring out the worst in us in the form of waste, conflict, severe intoxication and violence, leading to grief and misery. But it brings out the best in us too. Warmth, hospitality, humour, welcome, solidarity, generosity, concern for others, conviviality, sociability - these are all Christmas and Irish virtues, and they are values and attributes worth cherishing in these times of family breakdown and community fragmentation.
In recent years, we have developed a keener sense of the individual. We have learned to respect individual differences; we have come to understand the necessity to provide for individual needs; we make a point of protecting individual rights and individual lives and our response to individuals we perceive to be hurt or in need or at risk is generous and spontaneous.
But in discovering the individual, we have started to lose our precious sense of community. Instead of feeling part of a community or a neighbourhood, people are isolated in their homes, often not knowing their neighbours and even afraid to greet people on their street. We work with people whose last names we never know. We form support groups with strangers. And the most vulnerable people, those most in need of community and support, are often the most isolated, maybe living alone and in fear.
Just as we have more wealth than we ever did and do not know how to spend it wisely, although we are better educated than before, we do not know what to do with what we know. We find it increasingly difficult to cope. Everything is too big, too fast, too overwhelming. Our response to the feeling of overload and the uneasiness it generates is to close ourselves off, to mind our own business, to step over bodies in the street, to ignore people around us who are elderly or ill or simply lonely, assuming that they are some one else's responsibility.
But they are not. We are all responsible for each other. That is what community means. It is only by facing up to the responsibility we all share by virtue of being human, the responsibility that goes with being a contributing member of civic society, that we can take hold of our true destinies. If we hide from our responsibility, if we refuse to take ownership of our communities, if we always assume that someone else will do it - we will end up with a conflicted, fearful and obsessively competitive society consisting of self-absorbed and isolated individuals.
Democracy is the ultimate affirmation of the rights of the individual, but it depends on each individual exercising their rights but embracing their responsibilities. Without individual responsibility, democracy itself can be at risk. We cannot change the world, but we can change ourselves and that is how the world starts to get changed.
One way we can make a difference is by speaking up for what is right and what is true. This takes courage. It often takes courage to disagree with Government policies; it takes courage to stand up for migrants or Travellers; it takes courage to say that many people in prisons shouldn't be there, but should be provided for in the community. It takes courage, but it is worth doing, because that is how we can win over hearts and minds. As the Zen master Quan puts it: "As soon as we start to speak, we start to influence others. When the sun is uncovered, its light can shine on things. It does not have to make a special effort to go looking for things to shine on."
There are three obstacles that prevent us from sticking up for unpopular principles. First, there is the fear of loss of status: we are likely to get crossed off invitation lists to certain dinner parties. The second obstacle has to do with our personal comfort. It's easier and more comfortable to assume that someone else is responsible, and that speaking up will only upset people.
And thirdly there is the fear of criticism. To differ from the mainstream means that we must possess our own beliefs and enter into discussion with people we may feel inferior to, people who make us feel small, stupid or misguided. The reality is that nobody has the perfect answer. What's important is that we have the courage to try at least to formulate the right questions.
Christmas is about the birth of one who risked everything. Jesus had no interest in status. He asked the hard questions and he stood up for the "wrong" people. This is the model we are given of what it means to live life to the fullest, taking responsibility for ourselves and others, and valuing community over personal comfort and advancement. Hard as it may be socially, there are great spiritual rewards for being willing to take up our responsibilities, for living with integrity and free of guises, for becoming what we are capable of, spiritual adults, free.
Once we have broken through the propriety and protocols that collude to prevent us from reaching out to grasp our responsibilities, we are forever free.
That is what living out the Christmas spirit means: taking responsibility for ourselves and others, living as part of a community rather than as isolated, fearful individuals. Let's take the commitment to the Christmas spirit that we are so proud of in this country seriously and open our doors this Christmas, look those neighbours in the eye, and invite them in - not just to the party, but into the community with us and our families, to live as true neighbours who take responsibility for each other. By sharing our mutual responsibility with joy, we can truly experience happiness this Christmas, and take the first steps to changing the world.
Sr Stanislaus Kennedy is a founder of Focus Ireland