WHEN Dr Dermot Clifford, Archbishop of Cashel and Emly, began his campaign against Sunday trading, he overlooked one little detail. His 40 page pastoral appeals to churchgoers "never to make Sunday your shopping day". But the "booklet is being sold on Sundays after Mass, the Limerick Leader pointed out.
Keeping to church dicta can be very difficult, even for an archbishop. So you have to have sympathy for the boys from Lahinch National School who refused to forfeit their chance of fame when Father Ted fell foul of the Catholic Church authorities in Lahinch. The boys had been invited to play choir boys in the Father Ted Christmas special, which was being filmed locally.
"But it seems the idea was roundly condemned by real life cleric, Father Eoghan O'Leary, who chairs the board of management of the school," said the Clare Champion. Father O'Leary refused them time off for filming and went to the school to urge the boys not to take part. But the boys rejected his advice and were soon kicking a football around in front Craggy House with Father Ted and Dougal.
When contacted by the Champion, Father O'Leary "refused to comment and put the phone down."
It all seemed a storm in a teacup compared to reports that child prostitutes are being used in a public loo in Tralee town park. Such incidents are "common knowledge", said a Tralee councillor, Mr Billy Leen. Kerry's Eye discovered, however, that there have been no arrests even though "gardai were made aware of the situation some months ago and have been keeping the area under observation".
"In Newry, 300 people turned out for a hastily called public meeting after two girls, aged 14 and 17, were found unconscious at a well known drug dealing spot in Bessbrook. The Newry Reporter remarked: "The oft used phrase, Bessbrook, the model village, could well turn out to be something of a sick joke following allegations by residents that it has become a haven for drug pushers."
Four out of 10 students have been offered illegal drugs, a Midland Health Board report has found. "Drugs are no longer just a problem in Dublin, they are in every town in this country," James Coyle told the Longford Leader.
The survey of 1,654 students aged 16, 17 and 18 also found that 88 per cent had taken alcohol, 44 per cent had smoked cigarettes and 27 per cent had used illegal drugs, mostly cannabis.
THE Westmeath Examiner highlighted a call to "close discos by midnight", which was made at a Midland Health Board meeting by a former TD, Sean Keegan. "Marriages have been broken, people have come to sudden deaths because of alcohol," he said, adding: "I never took a drink in my life and I got this far and I have enjoyed my life I can tell you."
That paper also reported on Westmeath County Council's debate on the issue where Paul McGrath TD claimed that "imported beer" was being sold to 13 year olds from an estate house in Mullingar. He had spoken to the youths, as they stood surrounded by empty beer cans and spent cigarettes.
Senator Donie Cassidy, a lifelong member of the Pioneer and Total Abstinence Association, said the pin was "the greatest incentive to encourage young people not to drink". He volunteered to give his Monday mornings to address school children on the advantages of not drinking.
"Has the whole world gone mad or what?" asked the editor of the Munster Express. He was commenting on how a gifted local mimic, Bridie Hodge, conned the Gerry Ryan Show (and half the country) into believing she was Raquel of Coronation Street and had started her new life in the locality. The editor couldn't believe listeners' gullibility, since "Raquel" was too "dopey" to have found her way out of Manchester.
The same newspaper's lead story revealed that Waterford is going to build a millennium monument to "catapult" the city on to the world stage (let's hope it lands softly). This thing will be on a par with the Eiffel Tower and the Statue of Liberty and is the brainchild of New York sculptor Edwina Sandys, granddaughter of Sir Winston Churchill and a friend of Tony O'Reilly's wife, Chryssanthe.
Sandys plans a five continent "ring" of elaborate and appropriate sculptures within each of the continents. The front runner location is the imposing Mount Misery, on the Ferrybank side of Rice Bridge. With the backing of the Waterford Millennium Task Force and Waterford/Wedgwood, a draft proposal for the project is being sent to the Department of Arts, Culture and the Gaeltacht, prompting the question: just how gullible are they?