In a recent letter to the priests of the Armagh Archdiocese, Arch- bishop Sean Brady referred to funeral eulogies. He wrote in full:
In every celebration for the dead, the church attaches great importance to the Word of God. The readings teach remembrance of the dead. They convey the hope of being gathered again in God's Kingdom. They encourage the witness of Christian life. Members of the bereaved family are to be invited to choose and take the readings. At the funeral liturgy the biblical readings may not be replaced by non-biblical readings. Those chosen to proclaim the Word should be appropriately prepared.
According to the Order of Christian Funerals, "a brief homily based on the readings should always be given at the funeral liturgy, but never any kind of eulogy."
The choice and preparation of the Prayer of the Faithful provide another opportunity for the family to participate. The text selected should capture the unspoken prayers and hopes for the assembly. They should also respond to the needs of the mourners.
The music for the celebration of the funeral rites should be chosen with care and with reference to the Order of Christian Funerals. It is meant to support, console and uplift the participants. It can help create in the bereaved a spirit of hope in Christ's victory.
Requests by members of the family to speak after the Prayer after Communion should be firmly but sensitively refused. The approved rite does not envisage such a practice and for a number of good reasons. These reasons are:
1. It may lead to unnecessary duplication of the sentiments expressed in the homily and in the Prayer of the Faithful.
2. It can cause unnecessarily severe emotional stress to expect a member of the family to address the congregation immediately before the final commendation and farewell.
3. Such a practice distracts, sometimes seriously, from the sacred nature of the liturgy and occasionally may be offensive to the congregation.
Other opportunities are available to acknowledge the life of the deceased, for example, at the graveside, at the meal afterwards or in columns of the local newspapers.