RADIO REVIEW:INTERVIEWING sports stars involves dribbling rather than tackling. By nature they are methodical, disciplined, focused - all of the qualities that work well on the pitch, but are hell to deal with on the radio. And that's aside from the well-honed "at the end of the day"-style verbal ticks. The best interviewees are hotheads. They should be unguarded, prone to saying the wrong thing, revealing another side of themselves.
Quiz masters such as Marian Finucane (RTÉ Radio One, Saturday Sunday) make it look easy. They politely rearrange the ornaments on your mantel, but are really running their finger along it for traces of dust. With Brian O'Driscoll on Saturday, it was gleaming surfaces all the way. It was one question followed by a polished generality for an answer. There was none of the wonderful, dusty old tales that you would get with the late, great storyteller Ronnie Drew. There would be one stubborn speck, though.
O'Driscoll, who will be replaced by Leo Cullen as Leinster Captain in this rugby season, was pontificating about the nature of the game. Borr-ing! He was proving himself to be the Steve Davis of media rather than the John McEnroe. Every statement was extremely considered. "I'm a big believer that you lead by example," he said of skills one needs as captain. Marian asked, "What happens on the pitch stays on the pitch? What happens on tour stays on tour?" He replied, "I'm a big believer in that." On media criticism of cashing in on the commercial side - professional jealousy disguised as high-minded criticism, if you ask me - he said, "I used to like an old Powerade now and then. It got to the point where I was taking the piss a little with different coloured bottles as I was interviewed. But that was just a bit of fun." We're saying "taking the piss" on morning state radio now? "I am a believer that . . . I like to think that I endorse good quality products." Me, too. I am a firm believer in people being great believers.
After spending the interview tugging at his immovable trophies, Finucane asked if he wanted to be a George Hook. "I hope not," O'Driscoll replied. "I see," Marian said. Quick as a flash, she turned from his mantel, brandishing that speck of dust on the tip of her finger. "Why wouldn't you like to be the next George Hook?" she asked. "Well, em . . ." he hesitated. "Why wouldn't you like to be the next George Hook?" she repeated. "Because I'd like to have a valued opinion," he said, tarnishing his polished façade.
O'Driscoll said, "I am a firm believer that people whose opinion I count and rely on are people who have either been there or done that either playing or coaching. Someone who isn't a sensationalist and I believe that he is completely that." Finucane asked, "But he did coach, didn't he?" He replied, "Yes, but at a poor standard. With no success." Not what I'd call a fair tackle. She added, "Well, I presume that he would disagree with you." Hook did disagree. It made the papers the following day. Still, O'Driscoll revealed something unintentional with his negative comments about George Hook. In locker room, macho rugby parlance, it's what's known as a bitch slap.
There was a more shocking revelation on Tuesday's Lunchtime With Eamon Keane (Newstalk 106-108 fm, weekdays) with Tommy Gorman, President of the National Taxi Drivers Union on to talk about why taxi fares may rise 8 per cent. Gorman, who is supposed to represent all taxi drivers, drove into muddier territory. I had to listen back to it twice to believe it.
Keane said he'd heard driver complaints that foreign drivers, particularly African, "are wrecking the trade and taking over Dublin Airport. Is that racism?" Gorman said, "No. I think if any of that has been brought into our business it's been self-inflicted. There is a lot that our people are trying to live with. We have massive immigration coming in and it seems to be coming into our business. In the sense that I think they're doing damage is that they are ferrying people and they don't know where they're going." Our people? Our business? Keane said he's had that problem - with Irish drivers. Also, using geographical knowledge to criticise African drivers is a ruse. Most do know, or use GPS.
He added: "There have been situations in many taxi ranks where an African driver may be the first car and the person comes up and when she sees an African driver she won't get into the car and comes back to the second car, which creates a problem because the African gets out and says, 'You're taking my work'." Gorman went on to say - rather muddily - that, under legislation, the customer is not obliged to take the first taxi on the rank.
Thank you, Mr Gorman. I'll remember your words the next time there's an African driver second in the queue. He clearly needs support, so I'll skip the Irish driver. African drivers are usually polite, don't say "f***" every second word and don't depress me with their questionable views on the state of the nation.
qfottrell@irish-times.ie