"We were a bit disappointed with the jelly wrestling," says John, from Romford in Essex, who is visiting the show for the second time. "If the girls had taken some of their clothes off it would have been much better."
John and his wife, Carol, are watching a lingerie fashion show at the Erotica '98 exhibition at the Olympia theatre in west London where they are surrounded by lots of other couples in their mid-thirties, groups of young men and a few women at the back of the hall who look as if they joined the wrong queue outside.
In its second year, the exhibition is a three-day festival of "uninhibited fun . . . in a safe, responsible environment," and 25,000 customers will visit such curiously-titled stands such as the Fetish Village, Second Skin, Feather Junkies and the Torture Garden and a central stage area where a group of models are performing a unique version of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland.
Walking around the hall, where the majority of the customers are young men, the magazines, videos, rubber dresses and erotic art has them in a spin. Small groups of men huddle around a model posing on a motorbike in her underwear - we think she is promoting the motorbike - and giggle conspiratorially as they hand over u £10 to have their photograph taken with her. They linger for a little while before turning to the next stand where a woman, dressed from head-to-toe in leather and standing in a cage, swats passing men with a small tennis racket that emits an electric shock.
It is all done in a tongue-in-cheek, fun atmosphere, which in many cases owes more to the humour of the British Carry On films than anything seedy or degrading.
Thankfully, attendance at the event is not dependent on attire, although in the interests of art, or perhaps sheer exhibitionism, some costumes look as if they require a great deal of skill in putting them on.
Jessica, a model who is working on the Ecstasy Works of Art stand, is very careful when she puts on her outfits. She certainly needs a steady hand because the leather dog collar that she is wearing around her neck has three-inch spikes sticking out of it.
She says she was hired to bring the customers in. This involves whipping them (but only the ones who ask for the service) and standing beside erotic art wearing nothing more than a chainmail skirt and vest which leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.
The organisers of Erotica '98 are keen to point out that the exhibition it is not simply about couples in their thirties who are nostalgic for the leather and lace look of the 1980s.
It has the "honour" of being the only exhibition to have been granted a Sex Establishment Licence, enabling the staging of live erotica, and it has something to offer for everyone, whether you are looking for a giggle or your tastes are a little more exotic.
There is even help for those who might need expert advice - a stand at the back of the hall offers a free 10-minute consultation aimed at solving sexual problems. There are also special offers on a jacuzzi for four and for the customer with lots of money to spend there is a wrought-iron bed for sale at u £17,000.
The sparkle of glitter and painted lips, however, begins to fade as the customers trickle out of the hall at the end of the night. Once lively hostesses return to their stands and shiver with the cold.
The woman at the Piercing Experience looks extremely bored and not a little ordinary as she sits down to eat a bacon sandwich while trying not to crumple the pink feathers on her dress.
At the Second Skin stand they are folding tiny leather skirts into boxes as the customers take a last look at the merchandise.