CONVERSATIONS WITH HIMSELF: Karl MacDermottis unimpressed by the great Irish tradition of expressing gratitude unnecessarily, when people are just doing their jobs
THERE IS too much gratuitous thanking in this country. There is.
Thanking the bus driver when we get off the bus. I mean those guys are so rude so much of the time and we thank them? I couldn't agree more.
There's no consistency. If people thank the bus driver when they get off the bus why don't they thank the Luas driver when they get off the Luas? Well, that would be quite difficult.
No, it wouldn't. The Luas drivers always take their time, waiting for people to get on while they queue for their tickets and avoid the junkies at the ticket machine.
There would be plenty of time to go up and thank the Luas driver. Be consistent at least. That's all I ask for. I think all this thanking is a result of a post-colonial complex.
I don't know what causes it, but it bugs me. You know what the worst one is? The newsreader thanking the correspondent. I saw it again last night on the Nine O'clock News.
It's the only thing to watch. There is nothing else on at the moment. You are right.
Where did television stations get the idea that no one watches telly during the summer? That we are all out every night having convivial conversation with Tarquin and Lucy and those lovely people the Metcalfes over that barbecue. Some of us don't have a rich vibrant social life. Some of us have minimal contact with humanity. And like it that way. Is the rant over? Continue with what you were saying.
Oh yeah, gratuitous thanking. Anne Doyle is talking to Tommie Gorman about something happening in Stormont. And Tommie is doing his piece to camera. And she asks him a couple of questions and he tells her what is happening. And at the end of the report she says, "Thanks for that, Tommie." Why does she have to say that? It's his job! He's on a good salary. It's what he does. Why does she thank him? She's just being polite.
And she doesn't just thank Tommie. She thanks them all. Ciaran Mullooly. Paul Reynolds. What's her face in Sligo. She thanks so many people it uses up news time. There could be at least one or two more news items if she stopped thanking people.
Like about South America. Completely ignored on the RTÉ News. Does that continent actually exist? They do the odd report about Chávez in Venezuela.
Forget Chávez. There's a whole continent there. It's not just Chávez. And here's another question. If she thanks the news correspondents, why doesn't she thank the weather forecasters? Good point.
It's that consistency thing again. If she is going to thank the news correspondents after every item, the least she could do is hang around, wait for the weather forecaster to finish, come on-screen and thank him or her. It's a tough enough job. Not an exact science.
They sometimes get it wrong. They do.
But, then again, maybe they don't deserve to be thanked. What I hate about weather forecasters is that they spend the first half of every forecast telling us about the weather we just had today. That's not the weather forecast - that's the weather that we've already had today. Maybe it's for all those temporary amnesiacs out there, or people under an anaesthetic in hospitals who have come to or people who were abducted, put in the boot of the car for the day and have just been released.
I feel another Paul Reynolds report coming on. "Thanks for that, Paul."
Displaced in Mullingar will resume in September