Wonder of you

The Bigger Picture: There is no limit to what we can do. There is no measure for how thrilled we can be with ourselves

The Bigger Picture: There is no limit to what we can do. There is no measure for how thrilled we can be with ourselves. There is absolutely no reason to restrict our dreams or joy of living.

It is completely acceptable to want "the world" and believe you are the most wonderful person you know in it. And yet, there seems to be so much out there today that would encourage us to believe something different.

Having "all we want" means believing all is possible - knowing it, living it as fact, having it as part of every corner of your being. There is only one place it makes sense to look for this truth, and that is inside ourselves.

For this is the only place from which our world can be created and destroyed - where limits are made and broken again.

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Looking outside ourselves for possibilities, purpose or reassurance is neither fulfilling nor empowering. At the end of the day, nothing creates and shapes our world more than our own thoughts.

Furthermore, by "searching", we can end up taking on the discouragement and misinformation of others who would have us believe our horizons are limited, encouraging us to do nothing more than accept this for ourselves.

It is internal strength, then - a real belief in and commitment to ourselves - that affects the world we live in, more than anything. Knowing how good we are, how effectively we think, how ingenious our imagination, how creative our ability to discover and avail of resources allows us to trust ourselves.

More importantly, it allows us to rely on ourselves when others around us choose to be limited and even actively limit us, and when we haven't clear role models before us for the path we wish to take.

Internal strength, more than anything, determines what we will strive for and achieve. We should nurture this strength above all else in our lives.

We live in the world we think we do. Every situation includes both perception and fact, but it is our view of and response to the facts that inevitably shape our outcomes.

As everyone will see something a little differently, theoretically, we should each have different outcomes to face.

There is a strong pull in today's society, however, to insist we all adhere to the same outlook and all reach the same place.

It is a strange and unexpected outcome of the industrial revolution that stifles us at every move. We must all physically deteriorate with each year we live, we must all live in fear that there are not enough resources for us, we must all believe that no one is more important than anyone else.

The facts, however, are that there is no reason at all for people to become "inevitably debilitated" the older they get.

It is absolutely ridiculous to continue to believe that the planet does not produce enough for each of us, and so we must fight each other for survival.

There will always be one person in your life that is more important than others - you! Without you, you have no life, full stop. Cherishing yourself completely is not only a nice idea, it is essential. Believing the myths, however, is not "harmless", but deeply discouraging.

And so, it occurs to me that each person should spend some time taking stock of the beliefs they hold, and considering whether they really want them or not.

Not only is there no harm in having a conscious look at the ideology that shapes your world, it would be completely disrespectful to yourself to forfeit the chance to be conscious of ideas that accidentally crept in from somewhere else, and direct whether or not you want those ideas to be guiding your life.

Not only is it completely possible to decide what ideas we wish to embody and reproduce in our lives, it is also completely possible to leave behind anything that suggested we should be more limited than we really are.

So, how do you want to see yourself? Are you tired, bored, frightened and "past it"? Or are you excited, delighted, energetic and active?

Is the world that you live in one where people are trustworthy, kind, fun and giving? Or, one where we must be on guard, worried, isolated and suspicious? Do you believe you can decide to see something new - around you and in yourself? Are you willing to take action to make it come true?

There is no one in the world whose opinion is more important than yours. If you believe it, you will not only begin to see it, but begin to behave in ways that make it even more true.

Developing internal strength does not mean living a life on your own or being closed off from others.

It does, however, mean that you can be delighted with yourself and the world before you, regardless of what anyone else tells you to the contrary.

Shalini Sinha has worked as a life coach and counsellor and presents the intercultural programme Mono on RTÉ Television. She has a BA in comparative religion and anthropology and an MA in women's studies.